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Infantry

Girlfriend dumped me on valentines day.

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Infantry

Well hello,

I'm Infantry. I'm here because I was dumped on Valentines day after I told my then girlfriend that I had tested positive for HSV2.

Is there a cure? I need to be rid of this. I don't think I"ve ever had an outbreak and theres no way to tell how long I"ve been infected....

I"m afraid I"ll never be be touched by a woman again....

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WilsoInAus

Hi mate, thank you for posting your story, I am very sorry that you've had the outcome you have had. I'm very surprised there wasn't at least some more discussion regarding the risks, whether she has it etc.

There is really no known 'cure' that removes the virus from the body at this time. It remains inside the body for life. There are plenty of things to experiment with though in terms of reducing frequency and severity of outbreaks as well as reducing the chances of transmission to a partner.

There are plenty of people on here who can help you with their stories of finding love with HSV-2.

First though, you refer to being 'tested' positive for HSV-2 and you've had nothing else, such as genital lesions, to support the notion that you are indeed infected. If you're interested in some thoughts, do you have details of the testing that showed you were HSV-2 positive, what kind of test was it and were there numerical results involved? Sometimes false positives occur.

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Infantry

Hello WilsoInAus,

It happened very quickly. Basically I went for an anonymous test and received an email with my results. The ranges were 0-1 and I tested 3.6 on the HSV2 section. Everything else was negative.

I requested to speak to a doctor and told my girlfriend(whom I had not had sex with yet) to be there with me to discuss the situation.

The doctor(Dr. Cunningham from Chicago) called and basically laid out the statistics of what I have, how incredibly contagious I am, how theres a 10% chance that I will give it to my girlfriend and what happens to females when they're infected as well(including infecting a child during labor part).

She then suggested I read some book called "good news about bad news" and quickly hung up.

I have never had lesions, warts, pimples, anything at all on my genitalia nor my face. But she says that I am asymptomatic and still contagious.

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Infantry

Needless to say, once my exgirlfriend heard all the statistics she basically told me she couldn't believe how "careless" I have been and that she "can't take the chance" with me. Then left me in my car as she walked herself home....

I've always worn condoms and been as careful as possible. I just never expected an ex girlfriend to infect me even with condoms...

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sunNtacoma

sorry to hear that ...but that dr does not know his facts you can have a normal life and have children

there are pregnant girls here .....and condoms are only 90% safe... u can get h in any part of boxer region

there are med you can take aylcilvor...anf valtrax to be on top of virus and vitamins b12 complex and lysine

come to chat and meet all of us we look forward to meeting you sun

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osten

First, your ex-girlfriend was terribly ignorant when she called you "careless". About one in every five girls has HSV-2 in the United States, about 80 percent don't know it and the virus can be passed with condoms. Carelessness has nothing to do with it. It happens to the best of us.

You may want to consider paying little head to the "statistics" your doctor gave you. You have a relatively benign virus and somewhere around 70% of the population has at least one of the strains of the virus.

This virus causes cold sores. You may not know it, but that is what herpes is. Cold sores, in one location or another. As with you, most people whom you pass it to will have symptoms so mild or non-existent that they won't know they have it. The vast majority of the few people who do show noticeable symptoms merely have to deal with occasionally breakouts, as do people who get cold sores.

You are no more contagious than the 60% of the US population that carries the strain typically responsible for oral herpes (what you may call cold sores). In fact, you are far less contagious, since what you have can only be transmitted in more intimate situations.

If you are still not convinced that herpes is terribly overblown, you may want to read about how it became this way. Read, for example, the disease-mongering section of the herpes entry in Wikipedia as a start, as well as a couple of threads on the subject on this forum. Your doctor is essentially engaging in that exact sort of fear and disease-mongering by exaggerating very unusual outcomes such as problems in pregnancy. Vertical transmission to a child is very rare, almost only happens in certain specific situations, and can be wholly avoided with the proper precautions. It's simply a non-issue, as is herpes in the vast majority of cases.

Herpes is not a significant issue, and you have no more need to change your life because of it than the 60% of people who get cold sores. I don't know what that book has to say, but this is the real good news about the "bad" news.

If your ex-girlfriend can't take a chance on you, then you're lucky you found out now. You have no want or need of such people who would leave your life over something so trivial.

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Infantry

I am truly thankful for all the support being shown here. I have been looking around the internet and see there are apparently a few people like me who have not shown symptoms. I don't know how long I will be this way but I am truly terrified of what I am seeing in pictures of those of us with HSV2 and how incredibly scary the sores can get around my pubic area. I suppose my only option now is to be up front with any woman considering to commit with me and hope she also has herpes.

I don't think I can voluntarily risk giving it to anyone....

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GntiNh

Glad that the site has been helpful, lots of good up-to-date information and great support from fellow members via the forums and live chat.

One piece of advise - STOP GOOGLING! The majority of information about HSV on the net is "made up wikapedia" that would scare the pants off anyone.

Also I would check which test you took ie name of the test, not trying to give false hope here but several members that have false results from blood tests.

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Infantry

I most certainly will stop googling. Some of those pictures are just terrifying.

As for the type of test they used; this is what they emailed me:

How accurate are my type 2 herpes blood test results?

we use the type specific CAPTIA serology test to detect type 2 herpes. This is

an industry standard test administered routinely in doctors’ offices nationwide. CAPTIA is a highly

accurate, type specific test (as recommended by the Centers For Disease Control) with a very low false

negative rate. A false negative is a negative test result in a person who actually has herpes. That

happens less than 3% of the time. In other words, it’s very rare to have herpes and get a negative test

result (unless you tested too early after an exposure). Compare that to the false negative rate seen with

mammography which can be 10 - 30%.

l

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Acesheart
Well hello,

I'm Infantry. I'm here because I was dumped on Valentines day after I told my then girlfriend that I had tested positive for HSV2.

Is there a cure? I need to be rid of this. I don't think I"ve ever had an outbreak and theres no way to tell how long I"ve been infected....

I"m afraid I"ll never be be touched by a woman again....

Hey Infantry, welcome to our site :wavey: . Honey has the girlfriend tested? She could already have herps. Stop that thinking that noone will touch you again, that's not true ;) . I have ghsv2 for 25 years, I'm female and married to a non h man for 22 years now and we have a daughter too. I stayed without outbreaks, Dormant, for 23 years and just had a second outbreak over a year ago. Stress and anxieties are my biggest triggers. Love and compassion are much more powerful than herps! Do not give this h powers it doesn't deserve. Do not give it control it doesn't have! It's a virus honey, many will accept you, and many woman here would love to have a good, loving man :) . They feel and felt just as you do. If that girl left you for this, she would have left for something else even smaller than h. You deserve to be loved and appreciated for the person you are, not the virus you have. Never deprive any woman of this wonderful, lovely man you are. Please read this book www.westoverheights.com , let us help educate you on h. If that girl had ever had chicken pox or mono. She has had Herpes Zosters! There are eight strains of herps, I would bet you she has had at least one. Take care honey and we do appreciate you :) . Hugs, Ace :hithere:

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waiting4dawn

Welcome Infantry. I found this site extremely helpful and comforting when I was diagnosed last fall. It's like walking through a dark gnarly woods (the internet) and finding an oasis. This is a good place and I recommend you consider this a home on the internet for this issue. For me it's like I found a lost tribe of relatives here on this site. Ultimately it's going to be up to you though to get through this. Just know that it truly is going to be alright.

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athenathelovely
Hey Infantry, welcome to our site :wavey: . Honey has the girlfriend tested? She could already have herps. Stop that thinking that noone will touch you again, that's not true ;) . I have ghsv2 for 25 years, I'm female and married to a non h man for 22 years now and we have a daughter too. I stayed without outbreaks, Dormant, for 23 years and just had a second outbreak over a year ago. Stress and anxieties are my biggest triggers. Love and compassion are much more powerful than herps! Do not give this h powers it doesn't deserve. Do not give it control it doesn't have! It's a virus honey, many will accept you, and many woman here would love to have a good, loving man :) . They feel and felt just as you do. If that girl left you for this, she would have left for something else even smaller than h. You deserve to be loved and appreciated for the person you are, not the virus you have. Never deprive any woman of this wonderful, lovely man you are. Please read this book www.westoverheights.com , let us help educate you on h. If that girl had ever had chicken pox or mono. She has had Herpes Zosters! There are eight strains of herps, I would bet you she has had at least one. Take care honey and we do appreciate you :) . Hugs, Ace :hithere:

What she said. Ditto.

I've been married for 12 years next month to a wonderful man who either negative or asymptomatic (never saw any point in testing). I would not say no to a good man who happened to have a (garden variety) virus, either, if that makes you feel better. You will be fine, and, never fear, you'll get all the love and sex you can ask for in this lifetime with the right person(s). No need to join a monastery just yet.

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Infantry

Thank you all for the support. I truly appreciate it.

The more I read about this, the less worried I become. Its just a shame I have to explain all this to any future partners.

I assume they'll all want to freak out instantly.

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Acesheart

Infantry, hang with us friend, we can help get you educated.and learn good tips for coping with h. It really isn't a big deal, 80% of the population already has h in one form or another, but have never properly tested. We are the safer people to be with simply because we know what we have and we try to protect.the partners we engage sexy times with. Some believe you don't need to disclose. That is not so, many.tell me their new partners also came up and say "hey. I get cold sores too" :) . I love it when this happens and it happens more often than you think ;) ! Take care honey you will be fine and you will grow from this. She certainly doesn't sound worthy of you! Hugs, Ace :hithere:

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chickentuna

hey infantry not everyone will freak out..only the uneduccated and close minded.. soo hopefully you will be able to weed out those types of people, have better judgement of who they are, and can find an open minded, more willing to learn type of person.. they are out there.. promise :) if you give the talk to someone and they reject you just remember that rejection is a part of life, it happens with jobs, other relationships, getting a house, etc... sooo much... so try to think of it that way, and dont assume the worst. be confident when giving the talk and only give it when you think you will be intimate with someone...gives you some time to decide whether the girl is worthy or not... if they doreject they arent worth it.. same reason if someone rejected you because of your looks,, its silly really... and they arent worth your time anyway :) good luck out there..keep us updated

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Guest AlUrker

Assumption is the mother of all f___ __s.

I'm not sure why but something in your original post about your diagnosis sets off my BS meter. Not calling you a liar or trying to give you false hope, but have you considered redoing the tests with a knowledgeable local doctor that you can talk to face to face?

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chickentuna

seems fair alurker... ive never heard of annonymous clinic testing andnot knowing the doctor that is administering this test...

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Infantry

Heres is the link to where I got my STD tests done.

http://www.stdtestexpress.com/

My work requires us to take tests for the life threatening STDs like AIDS,HIV, whatever.

This test I did as a precaution with my now ex girlfriend.

Like I said, I tested negative or non responsive for everything except HSV2 and in which case they gave me a range between 0-1. I tested 3.6something.

I have an appointment with another doctor on Tuesday to re-test for everything.

According to the doctor, these tests are pretty accurate

Herpes Simplex Virus Type II 3.67 0.00-0.90 Positive 02/11/2013 02/12/2013

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Acesheart
Heres is the link to where I got my STD tests done.

http://www.stdtestexpress.com/

The fire department requires us to take tests for the life threatening STDs like AIDS,HIV, whatever.

This test I did as a precaution with my now ex girlfriend.

Like I said, I tested negative or non responsive for everything except HSV2 and in which case they gave me a range between 0-1. I tested 3.6something.

I have an appointment with another doctor on Tuesday to re-test for everything.

According to the doctor, these tests are pretty accurate

Herpes Simplex Virus Type II 3.67 0.00-0.90 Positive 02/11/2013 02/12/2013

Okay question was it an IGM Blood test or an IGG Blood test?? I looked at the site but not sure I would trust any test online. Just me. Now that I learned most places do IGM not IGG, I tested again year before and so did my husband , but I made absolutely sure it was IGG test specific for h type 1 and h type2 .. Hugs, Ace :)

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Infantry

I don't think this tells me at all what kind of test it is but according to them, its pretty accurate.

At STDTestExpress.com we use the type specific CAPTIA serology test to detect type 2 herpes. This is

an industry standard test administered routinely in doctors’ offices nationwide. CAPTIA is a highly

accurate, type specific test (as recommended by the Centers For Disease Control) with a very low false

negative rate. A false negative is a negative test result in a person who actually has herpes. That

happens less than 3% of the time. In other words, it’s very rare to have herpes and get a negative test

result (unless you tested too early after an exposure). Compare that to the false negative rate seen with

mammography which can be 10 - 30%.

Similarly, at STDTestExpress.com we have a very low false positive rate. 98% of people with a positive

test actually have herpes. But what about the remaining 2%? Who are they? We believe most people with

false positive results are those with what we call a low positive. This is when the number on your result

can be helpful. A low positive result occurs when the amount of herpes antibody that we detect is quite

low, barely over the cut off for normal.

Here are the standard ranges for herpes test results:

Negative: < (less than) 0.91

Equivocal: 0.91 - 1.09

Positive : > (greater than) 1.09

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BeautifulOne0425

OMG Infantry....i felt the same way as you because I too was dumped by someone I cared about. Once he found out he was negative he dumped me. The hardest thing I had to do was tell him i was exposed to it. I found out by taking a blood test during my annual ob/gyn checkup. I wasn't expecting my test to come back positive because I had no signs or symptoms. I only did it because I test every year for all STD's to have up to date records. The gentleman I caught this from i used a condom with him each time we slept together, which was 4 times and I dated him back in late 2011. Needless to say i felt like I was being punished. I believe in my heart the gentleman that exposed this to me knew he was positive. I was able to pinpoint this because I do get tested every year. He lied and lied until finally he told the truth because I wouldn't let up. The gentleman I was seeing he didn't catch anything from me and we sometimes used protection and sometimes we didn't. I was exposed to this before dating him but of course I didn't know it. The fact that you want to be upfront with someone is great!! Please believe there are women that will accept you for this if they are willing to learn the facts. There are other men that I have dated that know my situation and is willing to be with me but the thing is I'm not interested and I know they are negative because of test results. I hurt soooo much because the person I was very much interested in turned his back on me. I told him i understand if he didn't want to sleep with me but don't not be my friend because of this. We are in our 40's and it is like who does that. I was a victim in the sense of I believe the person knew but didn't inform me. yes, I have to take some blame because the only other thing i could have done is asked to see his paper work. i knew I was negative prior to sleeping with him. I also, asked him if he was and we did have the discussion. The problem is a lot of us are not aware of how this disease is truly transmitted as far as how sensitive it can be with the skin to skin thing. I have my moments and there was a time that I just didn't feel like living when the blessing is I haven't had an outbreak. I am going to just commit to taking the valtrex and olive leaf extract. I do know a few people that have HSV2 and they assured me that it isn't that bad once you get past the initial shock, anger, pain, etc. People will accept you sweetie. My biggest thing is forgiving myself because the person I caught it from my gut told me to not mess with him but I gave him a chance thinking I was being too hard. Once again, I applaused you for wanting to be upfront with people. When people are aware and become educated I believe this is when transmission is cut down tremendously. Most people catch this disease off guard because most people don't want to be upfront about their status. I believe very few people transmit with no symptoms/outbreaks from my research although of course there is a small chance that can happen. I just joined this site today. Please stay strong as I need to as well.

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