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The H Bomb

Keeping a partner safe

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The H Bomb

Hey guys,

So last week I had 'the talk' with the girl that I have been seeing for a few weeks. Things have been going really well and I felt like we were ready to take the relationship to the next level. I honestly expected her to run a mile, but she didn't. She said that she was familiar with how herpes operates and thought our relationship was more important than some skin condition. Great news for me! She is 100% herpes free.

But here is my question - I am absolutely petrified about passing this on to her. I know that she is accepting the risk by moving forward but I still need to do all I can to keep her safe. I am aware that there are no guarantees that she won't get herpes from me, but I was wondering if anyone could offer their 2 cents worth as to the best ways to protect her. It would be great to hear from other couples where one person has herpes and the other has managed to remain herpes free.

I know the basics - avoid sex during an outbreak and always wear a condom, but I am so paranoid knowing the my 'boxer shorts area' is potentially contagious at any given time. I have thought about surpressive therapy but don't know if it is right for me. I have GHSV-1 and my doctor said that i would need to wait a year before going onto daily meds so he could see how the virus behaved in my body. He still thinks that since my only outbreak was extremely mild, there is a good chance i won't experience future outbreaks. Whether or not that is the case, is surpressive therapy that effective for people with GHSV-1 who experience minimal outbreaks?

The thought of passing this on to this girl is causing me so much stress. I think a part of me was secretly hoping she would walk away when I told her so that I wouldn't have to deal with this biggest fear.

So if anyone out there could pass on some of their tips I would really appreciate it.

And one other question - there is a lot of conflicting info on the net about the virus being present in body fluids so thought I would see if anyone on here could enlighten me. I think I can safely rule out that I don't have the virus in my saliva as I only have GHSV-1 (correct me if I am wrong), but will there be any traces of the virus in my semen? Some sites say yes, while others say no - so which is correct?

Thanks again.

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Did your doctor understand that you wanted to have suppressants to try and help with your relationship?

Yes there are no guarantees with HSV but the mixture of no-sex when breakout occur, condoms and suppressants reduce transmission rates.

You have given your partner a choice and therefore she can make up her own mind as to what risks are involved. Just to double check, you say she is H free, has she just had a HSV test then?

HSV is passed through skin to skin contact, not in saliva or semen - remember alot of the internet is "I made it up wikapedia" and I've even seen people confuse HSV with HIV!

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The H Bomb

Thanks for the replies so far - to answer your question -

- When my doc spoke about waiting to go on suppressive therapy I wasn't dating anyone

- My partner had a test a few weeks prior to us meeting and was clear of all STD's including herpes. She has never been exposed to the virus before.

Are there side effects to taking the daily meds? And not sure if anyone out there knows the answer to this, but for someone with GHSV1 who doesn't have recurrent outbreaks, would the daily meds have that much of an impact of viral shedding?

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Drugs of any type can have side effects, you won't know until you try them. With any drug is it is used long term then your kidney and liver function could be affected so that's why anyone on any drug (not used anti-virals) should have it monitored.in

I couldn't find any study which used G HSV 1 and suppressants, but it is believed to work in the same way as suppressants and G HSV 2. There are various threads at the moment in the forum with the statistics about risk factors but the general recommendation is that the use of a barrier method and suppressants reduced the transfer of the virus.

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I have GHSV2 and my partner does not. In three years I've not passed it on to him (that we know of - he's not tested in that time). I did not take suppressive meds as he didn't see the point and have only used condoms for protection. That said, we are expecting our first child next week so we obviously didn't use anything when we were trying to conceive.

I just make sure that as soon as I feel any tingles or like an OB is coming on, that I take valtrex and we steer clear of each other. I also take soluble zinc and vitamin a to boost my immune system, and this combo with the valtrex usually clears up anything in a day or two.

You mention that your girlfriend was just tested - did she specifically ask for a herpes screening? Herpes is not tested in a routine screen as they can only diagnose from a swab from an active lesion or a specific blood test.

I wish you the best of luck - there are many happy success stories around here where folks like us have made it work. I hope you guys are another one of them!!!

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Artfulsoul
      Thanks for your story.  It seems similar to mine. Fortunately for you it seems your boyfriend is willing to pursue some kind of understanding. Since I wrote about what happened to me, my boyfriend broke up with me. The ironic thing is he told me this happened to him about 15 years ago with another woman. He said it was very traumatic for him and felt like the same thing once again. So it seems he had been exposed before and could very possibly have already been carrying the virus. Perhaps he knew and didn't tell me. I am really not sure but the relationship is over for now since he won't discuss it with me. So much fear information and confusion out there about the virus. I don't think they really understand how it happens so they tell everyone to be careful. Even having the virus it has been such a non-issue in my life until now that it appears there is so much stigma around it. It seems more like it is the Pharmaceutical companies wanting to make money off a common virus that affects so many on such a deep level, receiving love and physical contact.  Feels like a big scam to me.  The information was so different when there were no drugs to reduce or suppress the virus. It is all very confusing to me.
    • doh!
      I don't have hsv1 (2 instead) but yes, it is posssible to have an ob without the usual syptoms- or to miss more subtle signals. in my exprience said ob is mild (ie not painful).
    • lonelysoul
      Private message me please.
    • raka
      I contacted one of the ayurveda doctor in india he is saying there is 60% chances of cure through ayurveda for herpes Details: Please see the treatment details mentioned below
      Treatment Duration: 12 months - 18 months - 24 months.
      Generally majority of young patients with not a long history of infection gets cured in initial 12 months, but there are possibilities that the cure might need a total of 2 year’s medication too.
      Therefore you can start with first 6 months of medication and depending upon the results and prognosis further medication can be ordered later. 
      Initial results of our medication will be felt after completion of 90 days to 120 days and generally the symptoms don’t occur after 120 days or sometimes even if the symptoms re-occurs it will be mild and will disappear shortly,
      Please understand that, we are not treating the symptoms but the virus, therefore till the virus is alive inside the body any time symptoms can occur, but majority of cases what we have seen is after the 120 days completion of medication symptoms seldom occurs and even if the symptoms occurs it will be very mild and will go away faster, so dont worry even if you get any symptoms during the course of medication. 
      Our aim is to cure the virus and not the symptoms, symptoms is just associated with the virus activity and after the 120 days medication the viral activity will be reduced and not fully stopped and that’s why you can get symptoms during the treatment, but this viral activity will be weak, and that’s why symptoms will be milder and will go away faster.  As the treatment progresses then the viral activity will further reduce and ultimately the virus will be dead. 
      About Medication: Medication will be in the tablet format which will be of 4 different variety to be taken after food. Generally non vegetarian food has to be reduced to the maximum while on treatment. Consume more of vegetarian food only for better and fast results.
        For your information, the names of our medicines with ingredient details are given below, you have to take the below mentioned combination of 4 medicine in tablet form.
      1) Tablet DERMA FORTE
      Batch No: 258
      Terminalia chebula
      Purified Berberis aristata
      Shudh Gandhak
      Azadirachta indica
      Wrightia tinctoria
      Picrorhiza Kurroa
      Fumeria Parviflora decoction
      Andrographis Paniculata Decoction
      Tinospora Cordifolia decoction
      2) Tablet GR TONEFORTE
      Batch No: 259
      Godugdha – Cow milk
      Water decoction / juice extract of
      Twak – Cinnamon – Cinnamomum zeylanicum
      Ela – Cardamom – Elettaria cardamomum
      Patra – Cinnamomum tamala
      Nagakeshara – Mesua ferrea
      Guduchi – Indian Tinospora (stem) – Tinospora cordifolia
      Haritaki – Chebulic Myrobalan (fruit rind) – Terminalia chebula
      Amalaki -Indian Gooseberry- Emblica officinalis / Phyllanthus emblica
      Vibhitaki – Belliric Myrobalan – Terminalia bellirica
      Shunti – Ginger (rhizome) – Zingiber officinalis
      Bhringaraja – Eclipta alba
      Ardraka – Ginger (rhizome) – Zingiber officinalis
      3) Tablet KG GULFORTE
      Batch No: 260
      Commiphora mukul
      Terminalia chebula
      Terminalia bellirica
      Emblica officinalis
      Tinospora cordifolia
      Zingiber officinalis
      Piper nigrum
      Piper longum
      Embelia ribes
      Operculina turpethum
      Tinospora cordifolia
      4) Bella Tab
      Batch No: 261
       Vidari – Pueraria tuberosa
      Shunti – Ginger Rhizome – Zingiber officinalis
      Maricha – Black pepper – Piper nigrum
      Pippali – Long pepper fruit – Piper longum
      Haritaki – Chebulic Myrobalan fruit rind – Terminalia chebula
      Vibhitaki – Belliric Myrobalan fruit rind – Terminalia bellirica
      Amalaki – Indian gooseberry fruit – Emblica officinalis Gaertn.
      Loha Bhasma – Bhasma prepared from Iron
      Vidanga – False black pepper – Embelia ribes
      Vida Lavana – Vida salt
      Samudra Lavana – Common salt
      Saindhava Lavana – Black salt
      Sauvarchala Lavana – Sochal salt
      Romaka Lavana
      Chavya – Java Long Pepper – Piper chaba
      Pippalimoola – Long pepper root – Piper longum
      Hapusha – Juniperus communis
      Vacha – Acorus calamus
      Patha – Cyclea peltata
      Devadaru – Himalayan cedar (bark) – Cedrus deodara
      Ela – Cardamom – Elettaria cardamomum
      Vriddhadaru – Argyrea speciosa
      Trivrit – Operculina turpethum
      Chitraka – Lead Wort (root) – Plumbago zeylanica
      Danti – Baliospermum montanum
      Shati – Curcuma zeodaria / Hedychium spicatum
      Water decoction of Haritaki – Chebulic Myrobalan fruit rind – Terminalia chebula
       Treatment Cost:
       180 days / 6 month treatment cost including 4 different types of medicine to be taken internally will cost you INR 32,400 for full 6 month treatment course.
       Medicine will be sent via DHL to be delivered to your given address
      DHL Courier charge to USA will be INR 6500 only, Therefore total cost including the courier charge will be INR 38,900 only
      Method to order the medicines:
      You can make the payment directly into our Bank account, and send us the payment reference or receipt and after the confirmation of the payment, send us your complete and full postal address, medicine will be dispatched within 4 to 5 working days with complete instructions as how to use it.
      Bank Details:
      Bank Name: FEDERAL BANK
      Account Name: Dr Hameed Ibrahim
      Account Number: 14210 2000 13257
      Acc Type: Current
      Branch: Kaloor KADAVANTARA ROAD, Kaloor, ERNAKULAM, Kerala, India
      IFC code: FDRL0001421
      Swift Code: FDRL IN BB IBD
      MICR CODE: 682049022
      You can also make the payment via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram in the name of Dr. Hameed Ibrahim, Kochi Kerala India and send us the code number of the transfer.
      You can also pay through PayPal, please let us know if you are interested to pay through PayPal. (Service tax applicable)
      Medicines will be sent through courier to your address without revealing any information in the parcel. The parcel of medicine will be concealed and confidential.
      FOR PHONE CONSULTATION you can speak with us on our mobile +91- 9995 202 100 to have further calcification in any of these 6 languages (MALAYALAM, HINDI, URDU, KANNADA, TAMIL and ENGLISH).  
       You can also chat with our doctor on whatsApp on this number +91- 9995 202 100   Did anyone tried it from here?
    • Lilhurp
      Also I’ve had them heal and come back almost immediately. Waiting for culture test results. These are the only symptoms I’ve experienced 

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