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Weldon22

Lets be honest..

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Weldon22

Before I had H I wouldn't even consider talking or associating myself with a girl who had it. So now that I have it I feel like ill never meet someone that I can be completely honest with. Things will never be the same in that aspect and I would never wish this upon anyone. I got it from a girl who knew she had it and gave it to me without saying anything until I brought it up to her. I don't know if anyone else has anything similar to this but has anyone been able to get back out there and date again knowing you could spread it to someone else?

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chickentuna

the reason we wouldnt have dated someone with Herpes ourselves is the lack of education we previously had on the virus. we had NoNe probably. and now that we have herpes, we have all the knowledge in the world ,,,,probably, hopefully anyway.. you have to find soeone who is open minded and willing to listen and learn about the virus, dont go for chicks that are a*holes or who seem ignorant...if you truly feel like the relationship will go somewhere and will be getting physical then be honest with them... if they "run" they werent worth your time. if they are willing to listen, then they are worth every bit of your time .

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MissHope

Loads of people have dated and have happy stories! Have you been to the Secret of our Success boards? There you will find many true tales with happy endings.

I'm one - I have genital HSV, my partner does not and we've been together for three years. He didn't blink when I told him that I had the virus, and now we are expecting our first child next week! So it is possible to date, to have the happy ending and to not pass it on. I'm proof!!!

It was hard to get back out there, no doubt about it. But you can't let a virus ruin your life and stop you from getting what you want.

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chickentuna

weldon here is a thread of someone who came here to ask questions about their partner who has H.. its just an example of how accepting they are and how willing they are to learn about the virus. http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/showthread.php?54784-Hi-Everyone-Newbie-here-and-wanting-to-learn-and-understand

read the success stories also and ask questions..get everyones personal successful experiences... it helps

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skatrchikashly15

Hey Weldon :) I just found out yesterday that i have genital herpes. I'm 15 but got them when i was 13. When i was 13, I was at my cousins high school graduation party and met a 17 year old. we were a bit tipsy and started flirting. He started to advance and i tried to say no but was scared and we ended up having sex for about 2 minutes before he said "sorry, i cant do this." I contacted him yesterday for the first time in 3 years to ask him about it and he said he knew he had herpes. I'm absolutely furious, humiliated, and a total wreck. Being deceived sucks, Weldon. Stay strong, though. It could've been worse.

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Jaye

Hey Weldon,

I was totally in the same boat as you when I first became aware of having H-bomb, and to top it all off the boy who gave it to me broke up with me because of it. All I remember thinking was "Wow, if I had known I would have never slept with him..." At the time I thought I was referring to the fact that he had herpes. Living with this condition for over a year now, becoming educated about the virus, I still think that if I had known I would never have slept with him, but it's more if I had known I was dating an ignorant narrow minded fool, I wouldn't have slept with him.

Also to answer your question, I've dated with herpes. I've met some guys who are willing to have an intelligent conversation and take the information I'm giving, as well as go and do their own reading on the risks, and how I limit that risk. I won't lie, I've also met guys who can't bring themselves to accept it and are overwhelmed with fear due to stigma. With that in mind, I've also gone on dates where we haven't progressed far enough to mention H-bomb and the guy still turns out to be a douche bag. The good-ones out there accept you for who you are, and the ones that don't deserve you, don't.

Hope this helps,

Jaye

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Acesheart
Loads of people have dated and have happy stories! Have you been to the Secret of our Success boards? There you will find many true tales with happy endings.

I'm one - I have genital HSV, my partner does not and we've been together for three years. He didn't blink when I told him that I had the virus, and now we are expecting our first child next week! So it is possible to date, to have the happy ending and to not pass it on. I'm proof!!!

It was hard to get back out there, no doubt about it. But you can't let a virus ruin your life and stop you from getting what you want.

Well said MissHope, I too am living breathing proof for 22 years now :tee: Hugs, Ace

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alittlelost21

I got it the same way. The girl knew and didn't say and even had sex on an outbreak without saying. Just don't make the same mistake as them and hide away from it.

Personally, I think that once you've told them (and made sure they understand, as there really are some uninformed people) then your job is done. The guilt well that is different for everyone, but at the end of the day it won't kill you. Ideally yes you wouldn't want to pass it out, but they could go out have a one nighter and get it without even knowing

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NMW

I feel exactly the same way. It's been a year since I was diagnosed and I still feel suffocated by it and I always wonder how will I ever be able to tell anyone about this. I personally haven't been able to date since then but reading this forum, it appears that it does work out for a lot of people...for me at least though, I'm having trouble staying positive about it and putting myself out there.

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RareBreed

My story is similar to yours. I asked the guy before hand if he had anything he needed to tell me. He said no he gets tested after every girl he sleeps with. We engaged in sex. And what do you know. I start getting painful sores. I had not told him yet but I was going to. He started harassing me and I kindly asked him to leave me be. He then sent a message saying "have fun with herpes :)" he knew all along what he was doing. It is unfair but from the very strong and wise people on here I feel there is hope. This place is amazing.

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Aperfectwaste

My bf is the kind of guy who is totally freaked by H. But he loves me so he makes an effort every day to get past it. It really isn't the end of the world.

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playnice74

I've had HSV2 since October 1996 (17 years). My life is completely normal. The HSV, while inconvenient has not kept me from leading a full life. Don't allow herpes to take over. Educate yourself and take back control. Learn how to manage your condition not let it rule you. Once you achieve this you will be able to educate potential partners. There are also dating sites available for people with sexually transmitted conditions. Take care.. I wish you well.

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TalkingToLysa

My ex had been sleeping around on me and I did not know about it. He knew he had it and he knew it but didn't tell me. I thought the same way you do. But now I am married to a wonderful guy who knows about me and we have a beautiful daughter together. He doesn't care about my H he also told me he wouldn't care if he got it from me because he loves me. There are good honest people out there they are hard to find but they do exist :)

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