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My husband gave me genital herpes


gardenchild

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Before we got married, my husband never told me he had genital herpes. I did not find out until AFTER we were married and I was infected. The first outbreak was excruciating and I became depressed. I would get outbreaks about once a month for awhile. Then maybe every two or three months, then I was pain free for almost a year!

I am currently in day 11 or 12 of the most severe OB I've had since the first one and it doesn't look like it is going away anytime within the next day or so. I have been very angry since the outbreak and it is really affecting our marriage. Every time I urinate it feels like someone is holding a lit cigarette to me. I HATE him right now.

He knew he had it but didn't say anything because he didn't want me to leave him. Instead, he affected me and negatively affected my life. I am thinking of divorcing him but then what? Spread it to someone else perhaps? Stay single the rest of my life? I feel ruined!

I truly respect those of you who tell potential partners that you are infected. My husband chose to be selfish. I just do not see how there is any love in that.

I have had it for about 5+ years now.

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Before we got married, my husband never told me he had genital herpes. I did not find out until AFTER we were married and I was infected. The first outbreak was excruciating and I became depressed. I would get outbreaks about once a month for awhile. Then maybe every two or three months, then I was pain free for almost a year!

I am currently in day 11 or 12 of the most severe OB I've had since the first one and it doesn't look like it is going away anytime within the next day or so. I have been very angry since the outbreak and it is really affecting our marriage. Every time I urinate it feels like someone is holding a lit cigarette to me. I HATE him right now.

He knew he had it but didn't say anything because he didn't want me to leave him. Instead, he affected me and negatively affected my life. I am thinking of divorcing him but then what? Spread it to someone else perhaps? Stay single the rest of my life? I feel ruined!

I truly respect those of you who tell potential partners that you are infected. My husband chose to be selfish. I just do not see how there is any love in that.

I have had it for about 5+ years now.

Hey garden. Omg so many parts of your story I can certainty relate to. I have had genital type 2 for 25 years. I was newly married to my best friend of 5.years, only he was a cheater. Didn't know and we married, 4 months later I got h. I divorced him after his denial and lies. My first outbreak lasted 4 long months and spread to my anus. My new hubby of 22 years is still h free and we have a daughter too. I can honestly say Now, getting herps was my blessing. If you have questions or just want to talk message me. Here is a book www.westoverheights.com , please read all you can. Welcome to the family :) . Hugs, Ace :hithere:

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The thing is that I was about 44 when he gave it to me. I had 44 years of life without having it!! Then WHAM.

From someone I should have been able to trust. From someone who told me they loved me. From someone who told me he adored me.

From a liar.

I will message you. Thank you for your reply and affirmation. Just knowing that I am not alone in circumstance is helpful.

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The thing is that I was about 44 when he gave it to me. I had 44 years of life without having it!! Then WHAM.

From someone I should have been able to trust. From someone who told me they loved me. From someone who told me he adored me.

From a liar.

I will message you. Thank you for your reply and affirmation. Just knowing that I am not alone in circumstance is helpful.

Oh honey I definitely understand! I was abandoned at age 8 my ex told me he never thought I would leave, being I have no biological family. Hugs sweety, Ace

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Hi gardenchild

I sympathize for what you're going through and it is terrible that your husband did lie to you. Even with men who cheat, I believe the worst part about it is the not the cheating but the lie.

I'm assuming neither of you had any STD or herpes testing prior to your relationship? If not, how can you be so sure that he was the one who gave it to you?

I'm not trying to doubt your story. I'm just trying to give you reason for you to hate him less and possibly save your marriage.

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"Hi gardenchild

I sympathize for what you're going through and it is terrible that your husband did lie to you. Even with men who cheat, I believe the worst part about it is the not the cheating but the lie.

I'm assuming neither of you had any STD or herpes testing prior to your relationship? If not, how can you be so sure that he was the one who gave it to you?

I'm not trying to doubt your story. I'm just trying to give you reason for you to hate him less and possibly save your marriage."

Because I lived the first 44 years of my life without it. But mostly, because he admitted what he had done (in his own way).

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Hi gardenchild,

I can empathize. My ex also knew he had genital herpes, did not tell me, and infected me. I cannot tell you if you can trust him again or not but there is a wealth of info on this site to help with your obs. Maybe you can try medication. I am on daily generic valtex and it decrwases the severity of my obs. Some people have success with lysine, vitamin c, olive leaf, and other supplements. Also stress can cause obs and you are definitely stressed. Maybe you can talk to a therapist to help you sort out your feelings.

:cool: hth!

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The thing is that I was about 44 when he gave it to me. I had 44 years of life without having it!! Then WHAM.

From someone I should have been able to trust. From someone who told me they loved me. From someone who told me he adored me.

From a liar.

I will message you. Thank you for your reply and affirmation. Just knowing that I am not alone in circumstance is helpful.

How long were you with him before you acquired it? I'm assuming he finally told you once you had the o/b?

With this new o/b, is there any chance you are starting menopause?

I am sorry that he was not "up front" with you about having it before you were married. Do you think you might not have married him?

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It's been five years? Five years of being angry? Five years of resentment? Five years of festering over this? That's long enough. It's time to either forgive him, forget it and move on, or move out.

Everyone fucks up. He did, big time, but he did it because he was afraid of losing you. Okay... that was selfish, but sometimes love doesn't reason things out the way an objective mind would. He was afraid. We do things out of fear we wouldn't normally do.

If he's been a good and loving husband, and not lied or deceived you about other things since then, maybe you need to look at the broader picture and stop concentrating on one mistake, even if it was a big one.

If this is the one and only big issue between you, I think you're beating a dead dog. Neither of you can undo what's been done, so you can choose to either move beyond it, or let it ruin both your lives.

Plus, the nice part about both partners being infected (and I know this from experience) is that there's no worry about passing it on. I appreciate that for all the obvious reasons.

Think about whether all this anger and resentment you're carrying around is really worth the energy you're putting into it... and whether it's worth the toll it's taking on you, your husband, and your marriage. The choice is yours.

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  • 9 years later...

Thank you Dr. Okuns, your herbal medicine is a very good remedy for HERPES CUER, and Removing Warts. You can contact him via E-mail: herbal.home247@yahoo.com for any types of diseases solutions or WhatsApp him on: +2348078467513

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hang on @tweetsoc this is just self-indulgent self-delusion. What is super tricky about HSV? You're only saying that because of the super trick situation you are in having cheated on your partner, stop deflecting, how does that help anyone least of all yourself? You do not know you are going through an issue with HSV; it is pretty much certain you are not.
    • WilsoInAus
      The first article is from 'The Sun' which is just a sensationalist rag. The second article deals with a correlation between HSV-2 and cardiovascular issues that may cause ED. Did you actually read it? NONE of the participants experienced ED at the time of infection and 0.5% self reported EDS after 12 months. How does that fit with your 9 days. Herpes infections do not cause orchitis, that's just a myth that is started and perpetuated by people on web forums. There is no medical evidence of this. It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with me on HSV. There is no subjectivity in the facts that I present.
    • WilsoInAus
      None of this changes the fact that: you cheated on your partner and you can't cope with that; and you do NOT have genital HSV. Yes I do have to lecture about messing up because you are not dealing with it. You are creating a world of confusion from fake and/or obscure accounts of HSV in order to not deal with it. Whether you consider it nasty or not is exactly the point - this is the key thing that is wrong with you - when are you going to address - man up! Who has tested years later despite a negative WB?
    • Charlie1968
      Thanks tweetsoc,  I haven't taken anything but ibuprofen. My doctor won't give me anything without the lab work. I get tested on the 17th and if negative again 4 weeks after that  I will look into prostatitis and definitely ask him about it. Best of luck to you. I hope you get some relief. Are your symptoms constant or do they come and go? It's strange how the brain works. Sometimes this drives me crazy and sometimes I have just got used to the feeling of hot sauce in my pants. good luck to you. 
    • tweetsoc
      https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3104937/its-not-just-a-nasty-incurable-sti-herpes-can-leave-men-impotent-for-life/ https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.2047-2927.2012.00037.x
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