well it happened

[WaxedWrong]

gave it to the boyfriend.

last night we had sex, he went to the bathroom, came back and said i gave him herpes, i thought he was joking so i made him show me. low and behold he had what looked like a blister i couldnt really tell, but it did look like one, and then a white patch on the other side of his shaft.

well that sucks.

[BoxofRain]

that sucks, I am sorry to hear that for you guys....how long have you guys been together and what precautions did you take, if you dont mind me asking? Its inevitable in my opinion...the longer you're with someone, the probability of them getting it, regardless of protective methods, increases every time. How is he dealing with it? Was he with you before you found out you had herpes, or did you meet him after you got herpes and had to have the talk? just wondering

[kurious]

Sorry to hear that Waxed.I was going to ask a bunch of questions but BoxofRain asked all the ones I want to know.When will he get tested to find out for sure ? That is one of my biggest concerns, I dont want to give it to my guy.We are in love and everything and he accepts me having it but he has made it perfectly clear that he doesnt want to get it and that is understandable.I'm on suppressive therapy but we dont use condoms so I know there is a chance of him getting it.How are you doing ? I hope its not HSV though.

[WaxedWrong]

We have been together 2 years, we were together a year, before i found out i had herpes, a bunch of us went on a camping trip, and i was having my initial outbreak~ he knew i was sick, and something was wrong but we didnt think herpes. We came back my sis ended up taking me to the hospital cause i wouldnt stop crying cause of the pain and i have a extremly high threshold for pain but this was like the most painfull thing i have ever been through. He met us at the hospital after work, and well we have been working on it since then.

We took it pretty good, he was questionative, but neither of us have cheated and we know that was not the issue, so its was a how did it happen kind of thing... but thats passed the same night.

Precaution wise, we were really good at first after finding out, always using protection, being carefull etc. but eventually it stoped, he said it didnt matter if he got it. ~ which really it does cause no one wants it~ i wasnt getting any outbreaks, all my test had come back as neg, so he was all for no rubber. i was happy, cause condoms really do suck, but always wondering what if... so anytime i ever felt weird we never did it.

hes taking it pretty well... he did the "its your fault, so you have to get me everything i want tonight" thing, which was fine cause i dont mind gettin him a tissue, or a drink or whatever.

i gave him my meds, last night and today, and when he woke up the sore was gone, but he is a little procrastinator and refuses to go to the doctor, so i guess ill let him wait about a month then drag him to get tested or get him to go get the western blot info. he seemed more willing to do that then go to a doc office and get tested.

oh well, hes stuck w/ me for life now MUAHAHAHAH lol

[gutted.]

"oh well, hes stuck w/ me for life now MUAHAHAHAH lol"

haha, that made me laff out aloud..

thats my fear, id to give it to my girlfriend, but she keeps stating she wants to take the risk..

so what do i do~??

[ouch]

Gutted....i say just continue to practice "safe sex', continue with any extra cleaning up after regiment you use, and if you are on any suppressive meds, continue that too. Just try your best to do whatever youcan to prevent your partner from getting it. That is all you both can do.

That way, at least you can say man, I tried, we tried. We did our very best. My man STILL doesn't have it after four years...so....who knows!?! To me, it is WORTH the extra precautions and cleanliness even if it IS a bit of a pain in the arse from time to time! hehehe.

Waxed, I am sorry gal. But I cracked up when I read abuot the "oooh, you need to get me this and that tonite!" Men are all alike!! when they are sick, they suddenly need mothering! hahahaha! Oh well, a little extra cuddling and pampering won't hurt! He sounds like he is taking it ok, so that is cool! But I know you are upset too and I am sorry this happened. Just love and take care of each other!!!

[gutted.]

yeah ive been doing all the stuff i can to minimize the risk, whats bothers me most is she taking such a risk for me, yet what am i doing for her?

i used to such a wild person sexually, try everything twice, i use dto love going down on my girls, now i worry that if i give it to her, and then i go down and get it in my eyes or sumfin.

i cauld cope with having it anywer but in my eyes.

well, ive talked everything thru with my girl, she knows full well the risks involved, she must reallly love me to be with me,, gives me alot of comfort in one aspect, knowing how much she must love me, but on the other hand this also worrys me

she wants a big family, lots of children, so do i, i already have one from a prevoius relasonship, but she doesnt, and we have decided once we get out own house (i rent at the mo, house prices are ridicululous over ere) and are married, we are going to try

however, what if i give it to her and then she gives in baby and bay gets really ill and dies, in effect ive killed the baby.

i fear that the most.

[desperate]

Hey that's great man, stick with her. My girl is the same way too. Although we haven't had sex since I found out. I am just not in the mood anymore. This is the longest that I have gone without sex. I couldn't live with my self if I gave it to her. I even tried leaving her but she says she is going to stick it out. I wish I was never a DOG but hey what can I do now. I will find a cure.

[WaxedWrong]

"

thats my fear, id to give it to my girlfriend, but she keeps stating she wants to take the risk..

so what do i do~??

well it depends on your relationship. i know we are both in it for the long run, we just moved into our own place, eventually more- but if u really truly see this person in it for the long run as well, then you need to really think hard, and talk it out. you need to have her completly understand what happens during a outbreak, how its not always just 1 sore it can be very painfull. and if shes educated and still wants to take the risk, then she prob loves u more then u think

~~ also, baby wise, they test the woman endless times during the 9 months or so it last, for any active herpes virus. if she has some, its pretty much a automatic C section, and litetaly no possibility for that baby catching herpes, if she doesnt have any signs, she can still give birth vaginaly, but you never know... but either way c section> no chance of the baby getting it.

[Makeitgoaway]

Hey that's great man, stick with her. My girl is the same way too. Although we haven't had sex since I found out. I am just not in the mood anymore. This is the longest that I have gone without sex. I couldn't live with my self if I gave it to her. I even tried leaving her but she says she is going to stick it out. I wish I was never a DOG but hey what can I do now. I will find a cure.

This is the same thing my wife told me after a DR. visit 6 months ago.

Guess what, she cant take my insecurities anymore and is basically leaving. I hope your situation works out as mine looks like it will not.

Someone can truly love you and still wish to leave. I know, it's happening to me. To say I am sick over this is a understatement. Good luck and unlike me remember to communicate always and often. I stuck my head in the sand for far to long and am getting ready to pay the piper.

M

[ouch]

yeah ive been doing all the stuff i can to minimize the risk, whats bothers me most is she taking such a risk for me, yet what am i doing for her?

i used to such a wild person sexually, try everything twice, i use dto love going down on my girls, now i worry that if i give it to her, and then i go down and get it in my eyes or sumfin.

i cauld cope with having it anywer but in my eyes.

well, ive talked everything thru with my girl, she knows full well the risks involved, she must reallly love me to be with me,, gives me alot of comfort in one aspect, knowing how much she must love me, but on the other hand this also worrys me

she wants a big family, lots of children, so do i, i already have one from a prevoius relasonship, but she doesnt, and we have decided once we get out own house (i rent at the mo, house prices are ridicululous over ere) and are married, we are going to try

however, what if i give it to her and then she gives in baby and bay gets really ill and dies, in effect ive killed the baby.

i fear that the most.

It is scary, it is always scary...no matter what (the thought of passing it on). But she loves you and is willing to take that risk and you both just need to do the best you can to try to prevent it. There are couples who are in relationships for years and years and the non-h partner never gets herpes. There are some people who get it right away....the only thing we can do is try to help prevent it. If nothing else, for our own peace of mind.

as for babies, I had a baby two years ago! I did have a csection, but more because I had such a difficult time with my older child, my doctor was like NO WAY...you are not doing THAT again. Csection was the only option for me and have ghsv2 was the icing on the cake.

But there are MANY MANY women with ghsv and they have women the "normal route' and those babies are fine. Women on this message board and women I know personally. Ultimately it is up to your gal, you and your doctor. YOU guys can decide on what is best for you all.

I am happy for you gutted! Sounds like you have a nice gel!!! People think blokes are not interested in long term, commited relationships, and you prove that stereotype all wrong!!!

[gutted.]

thanks ouch!!

i know this is for the long run, as we get on so well, have similar intrests, love eachother and im not 18 anymore, at 25, im ready to start thinking long term!

we both have good jobs so the next thing is house, and the rest comes along naturally..

as for the H, Ive told her everything i know, all the consequences, ive not sugercoated any of it, shown her websites and made sure she knew full well the risk shes taking..

they say love conquers all, i do believe that now....

well, it doenst seem ot affect our sex life, we are "energetic lovers" who like to mess about (ya know, try different things, not be scared to tell eachother what we like etc etc)

its really not that hard being careful, i thort it would be, but it doesnt have to be at all, we make the cleaning up bit erotic, a nice way to finish off a good seesion!

also, if i feel a tingle, or see an OB, I go on my man period for a couple of weeks.

being hoesnt, open and talking about it helps so much

im very lucky to have such and understanding girl.

[ouch]

"also, if i feel a tingle, or see an OB, I go on my man period for a couple of weeks."

I just spit my fresca (diet drink) all over my computer! That was some funny stuff lad! Picking myself up off the floor! hahhahahaha!

Do you need "manpons?" (there is a show here in the U. S called Rob and Big and the big security guy on the show got into a discussion with pro-skater Rob who is his best friends about "manpons". Funny funny shit!

you are SO right though, honesty, no sugar coating things, being honest about turn ons (and turn offs) and erotic after cleaning-care can make things alot easier (and FUN) to deal with! And it might all just help in prevention. My man still doesn't have it , so ...who knows??!?! He is optimistic, but realistic too that his chances of contracting it are high, so....he handles it better than I do, I dare say!!

Thanks again for the good laugh (and messing up my puter! hahahaha)

[WaxedWrong]

"also, if i feel a tingle, or see an OB, I go on my man period for a couple of weeks."

I just spit my fresca (diet drink) all over my computer! That was some funny stuff lad! Picking myself up off the floor! hahhahahaha!""

a) awesome, i sat here and really did see the bf, having a man period, getting cranky and shit

i love fresca the origional of course.

[ouch]

yeah, I just LOVE fresca. No sugar, no carbs, fairly easy on the sodium and it taste so darn re-freshing and good. NOT like a diet drink at all (I should do a commercial for them, eh?!!) hahahaha!

I had an upset tummy last night and drank my first "real" (non diet) soda in years....and at first it was good...but then it really got to me. ALL that sugar! ugh! (I drank a 7up....mum always gave us this when sick.)

I am also hoping I am not gearing up for an outbreak....there have been some signs....(tummy ache not usually one of them, but who knows?!?! Maybe stress ....) so I am going to abstain from caffeine, sugars and load up on the vitamins.

But I don't think Fresca will hurt!!!

And yes, men DO have pms! I am convinced of this! crabby, cranky, whiny....they might not have the physical manifestations of pms that WE do, but they still get it!!! hahahaha

[gutted.]

lol - cud be a little earner for us lot, devise a manpon and market it for herpsters!"!!!

(cums with with mouth zip to stop man shouting at woman)

lukily for me tho, i not had a man period this year!! fingers crossed! or should i say winky crossed!

lol - at least we can laff about sum aspects of this!