Jump to content

How do you tell?


Recommended Posts

I'm 41 and I've never told any member of my family.

Who you want to tell is a very personal choice that only you can make and would depend on how close you are with your mom and if this is the kind of information you feel comfortable sharing with her.

I'd give anything to have a mom who I could trust with the details of my life and who would give me unconditionall love and support. If your mom is one who can offer you support and solid advice and you feel safe with her knowing the details of your personal life then you may want to tell her.

If that is not the situation you may want to keep your secret. If you aren't sure if you're ready to share then wait until you are. It's okay to take the time you need to come to terms with this new information.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a 16 year old son and hope that if ever anything like this should happen to him,he would turn to me and confide in me.

I never had a mom who i could of trusted wish i had, id like to think i am pretty unshockable, and would only give love and support.

You dont have to tell her, but if you feel she would help and support you, then give it a go, a mothers love is unconditional.:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i'm 20 i told my mom but i know that no matter what she will always be there to support me so if your mom is supportive i would tell her if not then you might want to keep it to yourself

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

For me I feel it would be better to not tell people, unless your having sex with them why do they need to know? even if people are supportive you are still going to be seen as somebody who is deseased.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thats not always true not everyone is going to look at you and think your diseased if they know my mom would never look at me in that way she is very supportive and has been doing her research as well if you tell someone who is close and love you they shouldn't react in that kind of way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm on my first outbreak right now, and at first I intended to never tell anyone, but now I've told my best friend, but not my mom, and they are the two people in the world that I tell everything. But, anyway, I guess all I'm trying to say is that I think you should take your time and tell her if/when you're ready, and no sooner. However, do not leave any personal items like washcloths or towels that you have used recently lying around the shower area, because you might not think that your mom or anyone else you live with would ever use a dirty washcloth or towel or someone else's razor or whatever, but you can't ever really know a person in the sense of what little unhygenic things they do when no one's looking, and even if they wouldn't on purpose, accidents happen. Catching it from you would be an awkward way for her to find out, huh?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

persephone - you're going to make a great wife/mom.

As far as telling, everyone is different. I'm not telling ANYONE, except of course a potential mate. One thing that is helping me get through this is that I am confident in knowing that NO ONE KNOWS. This will make it harder for me to tell someone but that's something I will have to deal with.

Hopefully I will find someone who will either not mind my H, or they will be trustworthy enough that I can be sure they won't tell anyone, should they choose to bail.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.