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Today it was confirmed :(


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Hello All,

Thanks for making this an "Us" thing instead of a "Me" thing. Although I'm sorry for everyone of us having to be here.

This morning I got the call....My diagnosis was confirmed. I had a strong feeling it would be. My now ex-boyfriend mentioned he had H after we had been intimate for many months. He only told me because he thought he was about to have a out-break. I was shocked! I said "You have herpes and you didn't tell me?" his reply was "I've had it for years, my ex-wife never got it, and my last girlfriend of 12 years never got it".

I've seen commercials and knew enough from them that a person could pass herpes on without having an out-break. That seems to be neither here nor there ... The fact is I now have herpes and I have to figure out what life is going to be like, look like, feel like? My emotions are all over the map. I'm heart sick...But I want more than anything to move forward. I want to experience and enjoy Life. All of it!

Thank you for letting me ramble on..I'm just really upset at the moment.

I'll be seeing you,


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there will be good days and bad days...

i dont get many outbreaks - maybe 3 - 4 a year, even then they are only one or two little pimples on Mr Nudge..

however, that doesnt mean i dont think about it everyday, getting paraniod about stuff etc etc

but, i found a really great girl, who doesnt mind my little "indiscreation" and we work around it.

all its not lost Shayna - love is still out there, life is still out there and youve got plenty to offer!

if there wasnt a chance of me passing it on to others or my face, it really wouldnt bother me to be fair.

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Thank you for your reply! I really need to hear how others Live productivly with H, In and out of relationships?

I guess I'm grieving for myself right now...Or just feeling sorry for myself. I woke up with tears in my eyes...I'm crying now. I hate the idea of living with a secret... And I feel pathetic.

I just got back from Mexico where mosquitoes had indulged on me and I thought I had a bite on my ass. When I felt it- it was an odd shape and I was suspicious because my last boyfriend had exposed me, so I went to the doctor. She said it looked like herpes and did the culture. So, Now I know.

One thing that is bothering me terribly is, There is this man I had dated a couple of years ago but the timing wasn't right. Our seeing each other just kind of disipated. Before I left for Mexico I called him and we met for coffee. We were both interested in seeing each other again. Now that I know what I have I'm mortified to see him or talk to him, But I owe him a call back. I don't feel emotionally ready to disclose this right now, Or be rejected.

I also don't know my own body yet (with herpes) as far as how to know the warning signs for when I might be getting an out-break. So, I'm sitting on a spot that feels kind of burning and thinking I have to get used to living with this enemy inside me. I have so much to learn before I know how to date someone.

I do appreciate any input someone may want to share with me????

Thank you.

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well u can still date this man, u cant however jump into bed with him..

its pretty much the end of casual relasonships im afraid, i used to be abit of a ladies man, had "fun girls" with no strings and all that, but having this means u cant go doing that, its not fair, and no way am i telling any girl id treat as casual.

but to be fair, i met a wonderful girl, dated her without sex for a while, she was getting "itchy" not in the h term, but wondering why i wasnt trying too rip her clothes off.

so the day came, i sat her down and told her, absultely everything, i got to know her well enuff to know she wont go shooting her mouth off, even if it was to much to take..

i was fully expecting her to want to leave it, but to my amazing, she hugged me, thanked me for telling her and said we can work around it!!

i was on cloud nine¬!!!! - goes to show, u get into something meaningful, a little indescreation can be worked around!

not only did i tell her, but now i have sumone to talk to, in person about it.

i felt so relieved!

dont let it get you down to much, u just have to be picky as to the people u date from now on.

no losers, big mouths or tell tales!

i found a new side to myself, which now i prefer to the old me, however i still dont like having H, i just wish i cud of been this way before i got it.

the only people ive told are my current girlfriend, my mum, and my ex.

so to be fair, thats two girls ive dated who dealt with it ok.

i suppose girls are more understanding then men tho.

bes tthing to do, is when u get an OB, is wirte down the things u did a few days prior to the OB, things u drank, eat, did etc.

after a while when u read back thru it, ull nitice what your triggers are, and then try to minimize them.

u will find alot of things written on this board will scare the crap out of you, they do me, but at the end of the day people live full and active lifes with H, get married, have children etc etc

its only a big of a problem as u make it.

if u ever need to chat, PM me, i like to help, as i know it aint easy.

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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