need a lil help

[datgirl]

i've had genital herpes for over four years. and i've had relationships where it wasn't such a big deal. i never spread it and so i feel comfortable in knowing different ways to prevent spreading it well reducing the risk. i recently started dating someone and there having a hard time dealing with the fact that i do have herpes. i dont want to feel selfish because i want them in my life but i tired of this deep sadness i feel when i can sense rejection looming. no i cant promise i wont spread it but the problem is i was with out insurance for a year and i recently got back on insureance so i dont have my meds. but in that year i haven't had an outbreak so i dont know what to do. they feel like i dont care but i do i was just a girl without means what is a girl to do please help.

jay

[Caliope]

If you have insurance now and you can get antiviral meds now how does that say that you don't care? I don't understand. It is not as if that year changed who you are.

The antiviral meds simply help to reduce ob's which in turn helps to keep the possibility of infecting a partner down as well.

You can help reduce ob's and reduce the frequency of asymptomatic shedding of the virus by maintaining a healthy lifestyle of diet and exercise which in return boosts your immune system and you can take vitamins supplements such as lysine and vitamin c among others to stop the virus from replicating.

I think it is a good sign that you haven't had active ob's. You should still practice safe sex and use condoms to help reduce the risks of spreading hsv.

I love this site. I've learned a lot from the other people who post and it is nice to be able to ask those questions that are sometimes embarrassing and get answers from people who actually know what it feels like.

[datgirl]

thank you thats the thing i couldn't get how i didn't care because i didn't have my meds. i'm an athlete i stay away from stress and haven't been sexually active with anyone since me and my ex broke up in august. its been almost a year since i've had sex i dont really want anyone touching me until i have my meds so the risk is down more than it is. i'm just as confused about this situation as you. but its bringing back those emotions of feeling unclean and untouchable again. which i dont like but if i walk away from this person whos to sya that the next wont be just like them.

jay

[Caliope]

there are plenty of people who just can't handle stuff and they'll look for an excuse even if it is putting it back on you. It sounds like you're handling your business in a responsible way.

I think if my bf had not been with me for a while when we found out I have hsv that he would not have continued the relationship. I found out after more than a year of dating. We connect physically and intellectually better than I thought was humanly possible. I didn't think I could find a love like this but he would have walked away if he knew about my status going in.

Ideally if the right guy comes along he will move heaven and earth to keep you in his life. The question is whether or not you want to waste your precious energy and emotions on someone who is not committed? It is disturbing to me the number of partners who openly admit that they're not with a "keeper."

If I was to re-live my life I'd have never had sex with someone who didn't absolutely adore me. It just wasn't ever worth it.

Best wishes.