Jump to content

cannot stop blaming myself


Recommended Posts

I was told new years eve 2005 that I have herpes... I feel like I am alone b/c I dealing with this on my own... its very hard when there's no support.. It makes me sad to think I have to deal with this the rest of my life... Recently I have met this great guy but don't know how he will react or if he stay around.. how do you tell someone that you have herpes?:confused:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi nemo,

Welcome...I have found there to be a community here of people who can help in many ways. Read as many of the posts that you can throughout the board. It's full of questions and answers. Some people who have lived with herpes a long time post their experiences which can be quite helpful.

The good news here is that you are definately not alone! There are people with lots of good advice and wisdom on this forum.

I am new to this myself and haven't been in the position yet to have to tell someone I'm interested in that I have herpes. There is a portion on this board that discusses that very subject. Hopefully you can read through some of the posts there and glean from them.

Take care and be good to yourself ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

I donno if this helps at all but I was first diagnosed a year and a half ago. I started taking vatrex daily and it really helped my outbreaks and made me feel a million times better. I barley got them after that. Anywase at the time I had just met a really great guy after going through a very rough ordeal and wasn't sure what to do either. Even though it was teh first day we met it was a very long initmate night of great conversation and we were having so much fun. Then he tried to kiss me and I froze up completley. I just looked at him right away and said " Is it okay for me to tell you something very hard to talk about. Something a bit embarrassing for me that I need you to be very understanding about? " He said he wouldn't tell anyone and that I could tell him. So I just kind of blurted it out and explained how it happened and how I'de not been dealing with it too well. I also explained about the new medication I was on and how it helped so immensly. I told him the basic thing I knew about the virus that most peopel who don't have it don't know. He had a coupel questions and I answered. He didn't know what to think of it at first but he was very sweet and understanding. He really appreciated my honesty and how hard it was to tell him. He said it really helped him judge who I REALLy was as a person. It worked out for me becuase we ended up living togther, getting engaged, and now I am currently 39 weeks pregnant with our first child in that short amount of time. He fell in love with me for me, and it was the best feeling knowing I had nothign to hide from him like I felt I did from the rest of the world. He gets me through the really hard days. I appreciate my lfie so much now. So I just wante dto say there is HOPE. That somewhere someone isn't going to judge us as harshly as we do ourselves. It's all about your attitude I think. You need to have confidense and love yourself no matter what even when it's hard to do. We are worth it. We are not bad people, and we are not dirty. We are just people, and people are just people. And yeah there are some good ones out there left. I really hope things work out for you, bu if they don't at first just don't loose hope.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.