I reallly messed up someone's life, permanently

[tragic]

Hi all,

I have been living with genital herpes for about 2 1/2 years now. I found out that I had it through and outbreak that I think was triggered by the stress of my uncle's death. I believe that it was in my system for at least a year before that. I had been depressed and sought out psychiatric help after I was diagnosed. It was a very bad time for me that escalated every time I had an outbreak. It was horrible, so I went on a year's worth of Valtrex to suppress it and I am trying to move on with my life. In the process of this, I met someone. We became very serious but I never told him about my condition. Despite the fact that I went through all of this and knew how herpes would ruin his life, I didn't tell him. I thought that the Valtrex and condoms would protect him. This was extremely selfish of me. He found my valtrex pills and four months later he had his first outbreak...I know what he is going through right now and we are trying to work through my deceit. He trusted in me and I betrayed that. Our relationship is so strayed. I found for him to get Valtrex for free through a GSK program. I constantly search for holistic treatments, therapy sessions, natural herbs, whatever I can to help him. I found the website searching for information to help him. He is so hurt and upset with me. I want our relationship to work, but I think that I have damaged us beyond repair. I know that I am so wrong and I try to apologize, but everytime he has an outbreak he gets more and more upset with me. I am trying to hold on, but what can I do to help our situation?

[WaxedWrong]

why didnt you tell him in the first place?

theres not much you can do but hope he forgives you, and work on rebuilding the trust

[tragic]

I was so stupid. I wanted to tell him, but one thing led to another and time passed. I should have made the time, but I didn't. He is trying to forgive me, and we are trying to rebuild our relationship. I know that he loves me, but I also know that he is so hurt right now.

[WaxedWrong]

just take it easy, dont rush it, dont get agrivated, talk-keep the lines on communication open

[gutted.]

be honest now..

one thing lead to another doesnt cut it for me..

im not judging you, as we all make mistakes, but i hope you learnt you lesson and in the future tell any possible partners..

im hope you didnt think once he had it he wouldnt leave you..

[i'm ok now]

wow, as i'm reading this, i started to cry!!!!!! you were indeed selfish!!!!!! i will pass judgement, who the hell do you think you are? you took this mans life into your own hands, and made this choice for him! as i get older in life i realize the importance of being a responsible adult. this IS HOW HERPES IS SPRED, and you knew this! just ask yourself this do you deserve to be forgiven? what if the partner you only knew to trust gave you HIV? i know there is a huge difference between the two, you cant die from having herpes, HOWEVER the emotional stress is the same. the only reason this upsets me, is you stated you knew you had it!!!!.... and during this whole time of being sexual with him guilt never set in to once tell him, he had to find valtrex.... which then tells me, you were really ok hiding it, just so you could keep him in your life...... i'd ask god to never allow someone to make decisions for you,....... and then ask for advise? you have balls!