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Newbie to the forum and grateful for it!


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Hi Everyone!

I've kinda gone through a couple of posts and read some of your personal experiences.

6 years ago I was in a new relationship and we had started dating. We moved in fairly quickly and had plans of getting married and having children. We were both in our 30's and didn't want to wait any longer.

Needles to say, without getting into too many details, the relationship started to fall apart. There would be 2 to 5 days were my ex wouldn't even come home.

When he would come home we would allways try to talk things out and rekindle our relationship. About 6 months later I realized something was not quite right and I tried to bring it up with him. He totally denied anything was wrong. I went to the doctor and well, you guessed it I had contracted genital herpes. I was sooooo angry!! I told my ex about what my doctor said and he still wouldn't fess up. Needless to say we broke up and my Dad welcomed me back home.

It was devastating. I was angry and hurt and felt sorry for myself. A little while later I hooked up with a mutual friend and we got to talking. He is a single father and a wonderful person. He started to hint and make advances saying he was starting to fall in love with me and would like to start a relationship. I had very strong feelings for him at this point also and we had become so very close. Obviously I had to tell him about the herpes. I was sooo scarred of losing him. When I told him everything he hugged me hard and said is that all you were so scarred about to tell me? I am soooo lucky! Don't give up hope!! I am taking Valtrex and we are very careful when it comes to our bedroom activities. Although he would almost prefer to get it so that I don't worry about it all the time.

There are partners out there who will love you no matter what. Don't give up. Don't blame yourself. Try to keep a positive attitude and focus on fitness and proper eating habits. My Dr said it best, don't think of it as something super horrible, it's only a nuisance. I love my Dr. :o) I'm looking forward to hearing frm you all and reading more on this forum.

What a great way to share and be supportive of one another!!

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Hey there welcome and thank you for sharing your positive experience. I'm in a relationship where I have it and he doesn't and I use the suppressive therapy.

I've figured out that some of us really suffer with hsv and others hardly notice and thankfully it seems that many of the guys seem to have less problems with ob's than us girls. Might be why so many of us contracted this when our partners didn't know they had it in the first place. So even though I will do everything I can to keep my guy from contracting this he knows the risks and we'll deal with it if it ever happens.

It isn't the end of the world but it sure feels like it when you first find out and when you are single or contemplating how to tell someone you care about. This virus is pretty severe on the self esteem. No one likes being rejected but it's just one more thing when you put hsv into the mix too.

Again thanks for the positive story. I really think there is a chance for happiness even with hsv.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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