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Nervous, scared and confused.

angeltears

By angeltears
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angeltears Newbie

angeltears

Posted
Posted

Hi everyone,

New here and thought I'd drop by to introduce myself. I haven't been diagnosed for herpes yet. Not yet. But I already suspect I have it. I have all the outbreak symptoms. The rashes, the lesions, the bumps and the blisters. All there. But it's around my thigh and on my butt cheeks, not anywhere near the vagina.

I am going to have my check up later this morning. I'm crumbling.

I had my last sexual relationship 2 1/2 years ago and since then have not met anyone I'm quite into yet. I start having outbreaks recently and after googling, might me having herpes. It may be silly to some to feel like the world is doomed even before you get a real diagnose but I guess deep down I know it is coming.

My ex slept around a lot when he was with me. He simply couldn't control himself. It was for that reason I dumped him when I found out. He might not know he have it.

To make matters worse (or better? only time can determine that) I fell in love. I discussed the possibility of me having herpes just 2 hours ago and we are both devastated. But it showed me that I have finally found the right man because he said he would stick through me and he wants to come with me when the result is out so that he would understand it more and how it would affect our future. For all I know he might back off tomorrow after thinking it through tonight. But it doesn't matter anymore. I wouldn't want him to pay for what another man has done, and what I have unknowingly agree to have in the name of love.

I'm not sure what to feel. I guess I will only know after tomorrow...:(

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Caliope Platinum Support Member

Caliope

Posted
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I think it's an incredibly good sign that your guy is willing to go to the dr's with you and if not for the informational aspect but for the support.

The hardest thing next to telling a potential partner for me has been that there is no one I can trust with my diagnosis. I can't talk to my friends or my family about the heartbreak of it and that is a really lonely place to be. I wish I had someone who knew something about hsv and could help me to cope that I could sit down face to face with.

I wish you all of the luck in the world and if you find you're positive for hsv I found the antivirals to be wonderful in helping control the symptoms. This isn't true for everyone but for me they are a miracle.

This forum has been a great source of support in dealing with hsv.

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bluefrog Acknowledged Support Member

bluefrog

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i hope to find a man like that someday. i am going to stop and by vitamins on my way home and i bought that dannon yogurt with the l.casei immunitas. i am absolutely miserable about this and only myself my doctor and the guy who possibly gave this to me knows. i cannot even bring myself to tell my best friend. too embarrasing and shameful. and i have four kids; now am afraid to share an ice cream or spoon with them. i feel like when people look at me, they see that i have herpes....ugh, maybe i need to see a therapist

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BeantownBeauty Honeycomb Member

BeantownBeauty

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We're in the same boat! I went to the clinic yesterday and they took one look and was like "yea, it looks like herpes" (making me feel...just uber sexy) but with preliminary labs i also had a yeast infection and something like vaginitis...(when it rains, it pours). Congrats on your man...i hope that I can find someone who won't tell me that "I got what I deserved" (read my other posts for the story).

So like i said...i'm still waiting for the "official word" from my clinic, but let me just say to everyone, it's only been 24 hours...and this forum has made me feel much much better. I don't feel alone, i don't feel like a dirty freak.

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    • CHT
      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      HSV genital likely?

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
      HSV-2 transmission under Valtrex daily therapy. Hopeful a healthy sex life is possible? Thx for sharing!

      By TS4real · Posted

      Out of curiosity, did you take valtrex at the very first OB?
    • FeelingLost75
      Tell me your symptoms

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      GHSV1 has be going crazy

      By TS4real · Posted

      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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