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Need Some Support


scaredtodeath

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I just found out today that i have the virus. it was like someone pulled my heart out and stomped it on the ground. I am so scared and don't know what to do. I have told the guy I am seeing and he is not upset at me or anything. But how can i live with this? How can i possibly live a normal life or have normal sex again? Someone please help me. I am really scared.

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You said that the guy you are seeing didn't get upset when you told him. Are you still seeing each other? It sounds like he may have it himself and could be the one who infected you. Has he ever been tested?

How did you find out you have it? Did you get tested or have an ob? Do you have someone you know to talk to about this or are you on your own with this?

The first few days are always the worst especially if you are living with the first ob. In time it will not be so awful. Sometimes people only get an initial ob and then only infrequent symptoms. The hardest part is the emotional realization that this is for keeps but the good news is that there are a lot of people here who can help you find ways to cope.

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I don't know if he has it. He doesn't think he does but I'm insisting on a test. I first thought I had a UTI and went to the doctor. They tested my urine and said, yep that's what you've got. When I returned home I started to research and realized that the doc was wrong. I went back the next day and they said I had herpes.

The guy wants to support me but who knows how long that will last. Yes this is my first ob and its a pain! I am from a smaller city and I don't know anyone who has this. I know it's not something you where a sign around saying you have it, but I wish i knew someone here.

Thank you for your kind words and if you have any advice on keeping ob's at bay or how to ease the pain please let me know.

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Hey Scaredtodeath,

I was reading about pain relief last night. (the segment was available on the right side of this forum page) anyway, it said to take an asprin or pain reliever, use a cold compress on the area, like maybe a soft towel wrapped around some ice. Also it mentions you could use a dryer "on low" to try to dry out any blisters. I just thought I'd pass that along to you. You may want to look it up yourself. Also, check out the suppliments and lysine/arginine in your diet sites.

Sorry to keep going on here, But if you peek around on the sites to the right as I mentioned there is an area that has support groups for different states and cities.

Good Luck and Take care of Yourself!

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Sadly, I've read many posts in here about Doctors who are incompetent. Some saying they can test your urine, others saying there is no blood test...it's just ridiculous.

It's no wonder Herpes is so pervasive. Hang in there. Get yourself BLOOD tested for both types. Switch doctors if you have to. And as said...there are many good people on here, should you need to talk about it.

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What helped me the most in the beginning was otc pain relievers and baths with epsom salts. Another helpful item for baths is the Aveeno Active Naturals bath powder that you add to the bath to soak with the one designed to relieve the itch of poison oak is the best one. I take lots of showers and baths during ob's. Afterwards it sometimes helps to add a thin layer of vaseline over any blisters to keep them insulated from touching other skin or clothing, this is to reduce pain from contact.

I found that I absolutely could not handle tight or snug clothing around the area of the ob and opted to wear a loose dress and big cotton panties. not so sexy but way more comfortable.

And yes after showering using the hairdryer on low as opposed to using a towel is really nice to dry the infected area.

My friend swears by something called Domeboro powder you add water to it and make a cool compress and it works by drying out the blisters etc and this makes them heal faster.

Lastly I found that the antiviral medications are a life saver for me. Not everyone has this experience but they are the number one most effective item that has helped me to shorten the ob time and keep them from coming back.

Also I don't recommend ever having sex during an ob or shaving the infected area.

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Scaredtodeath,

I felt the same way you did when I found out that I had hsv. Not only did I have to deal with the emotional pain, I had great physical pain. I will say that as time passes, you will feel better physically and mentally. It may seem as if you won't get better, but you will. I was diagnosed in November 2006 and I never would have felt that at this time I would be feeling better. I feel that I have recovered in a short period of time because I was really distraught and felt like crap (physically), but now I am much better. Hang in there and try to deal with only those things that make you feel good. If at all possible, please find someone who you can talk to about your situation.

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More questions

Thank you for all of the support. I am going to try your suggestions. I am finally starting to realize that this is real and it's not going away. It's just really hard to handle. I don't even want to see my friends in fear of someone finding out. I feel like a lepor.

Another question, is it possible to have a normal sex life or somewhat normal sex life again? I know condoms are a must but please help?? Will i ever feel sexy again or will this dirty feeling be here forever?

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This has not effected my sex life in a major way. So yes you need to take precautions but it is possible. Actually my sex life keeps getting better but I have a really great guy who constantly amazes me.

First thing is deal with the ob and the immediate symptoms and then start to work on strengthening your immune system. This is a perfect example of why you need to treat yourself like royalty. Get lots of sleep, exercise regularly, eat healthy foods, drink lots of water, take vitamins. Before long you'll be glowing and hopefully you'll be ob free. :-D

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Caliope, what about alcohol? I love to have a drink after work and to go out on the weekends sometimes. Is that out of the question? I have read that alcohol can trigger obs. Have you found that? Again, thank you for all of your knowledge.

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I honestly don't know.

What I can say is that alcohol can dehydrate you and that alone can trigger ob's. The same can be said for high sodium diets and drinking caffeinated beverages.

I make sure I drink lots of water but I made a choice to avoid alcohol long before I knew it impacted hsv ob's. Mostly because it is all sugar and I'm trying to keep slim. I do have a glass of wine occasionally with no ill effect.

I'd reason it out this way - if you have a healthy lifestyle 95% of the time and make sure you avoid triggers and are personally responsible for taking preventative measure there is no reason you can't have a drink now and again and enjoy life. Heck being happy is important. Keep in mind that you wouldn't want to gorge yourself on trigger foods, drink like a fish and stay out all night all in one day but pick and choose which one is more important to you and maybe excercise some restraint with the others. Kinda like dieting who can diet all of the time sometimes you need a treat or you'll give up altogether. And if you know you're going to bend the hsv healthy rules make sure you drink extra water and don't miss your vitamins.

It's about good choices. Let us know what you find that works best.

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Thank you

Caliope, thank you!!! I appreciate it so much. You are so knowledgable. Thank you, thank you, thank you.... Got any other helpful advice? I am like a sponge these days.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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