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Not diagnosed but definitely know what it is


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I have an appointment on Tuesday at our local Planned Parenthood, but pretty much am not there for the diagnosis, but for the advice.

Here's my story....I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months, have been sexually active with him for 6 months. Before we were with each other, he had been in a long term 15 year marriage and I had been in a 10 year marriage. We were friends before we became an item.

For as old as we are (both in our mid 30's-early 40's), we never imagined that would be here. Two weeks ago I noticed that he had what looked like a cold sore on his lip. For as long as I have known him (for over 5 years) I have never remember him having one, but he has had them ever since he was a child and gets them very infrequently. Honestly, I was more concerned of maybe getting one on my mouth than anything, but last Monday, I noticed a sore area in my genital area right on the same side that his cold sore would have touched me and a swollen gland in my groin area. Over the course of the week the sore became a legion and I researched the crap out of the internet. I thought...ok, one legion, not bad, but last night I felt an itch that I thought was healing of the original legion only to find two more. Today it is like they are all forming together to form a big one. Looks like I have Type 1 of the genital area....no doubt about it. I have already bought some lysine because I am not waiting for Tuesday to get here to get something started.

My boyfriend is beside himself with guilt. I teeter between acceptance and despair....thinking he won't want me....feeling gross...trying to tell myself that it is the same as what he has, only in a different spot.

There are so many questions that I have, but I will get them in time.

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definitely see the dr and get tested.

I have found the antiviral meds to be a godsend they have changed my life for the better in regards to hsv.

I have also found that changing my diet and taking vitamin supplements has not only helped me physically but mentally. I feel better and cope better than I did before.

First ob's are often the worst and getting the diagnosis is pretty traumatic and the emotional response can often make ob's worse so try to be calm and as positive as is possible. Maybe use this an excuse to pamper yourself and treat yourself like a queen. By all means do something that makes you happy to get your mind off the ob if you can.

here are some helpful links and if you have questions please ask.



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I think I gave the impression with my "there for the advice not the diagnosis" bit that I wasn't going to insist on testing, but I definitely will. I was a little distraught last night because it just seemed to be getting worse, but it could have also been the otc anti-itch cream that I was using. I guess I should have realized that broken skin + vagisil might not be a good thing.

On my way today to get a multivitamin with vitamin c and zinc to help with the lysine.

2 days and counting........

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Just a little advice from the school of hard knocks.

be careful with using cortisone creams they can make stuff worse when dealing with viruses. my dr specifically told me not to use them for stopping the itch. I did however get fairly good relief using the Monistat Soothing Relief anti-itch spray that uses an ingredient called pramoxine. It has to be re-applied but it is a small enough bottle that you can carry it in a backpack or purse.

many of us end up with a yeast infection at the same time as an hsv ob and my experience was that the topical cream that came with the otc yeast treatment burned horribly but the 1 day treatment capsule in the package was okay. thought I tell you just in case you're experiencing both. The prescribed yeast infection pills work even better.

I recommended hsv testing because I don't know if they will prescribe antivirals without some kind of confirmation that it is in fact hsv.

Also my dr told me it was okay for me to not use condoms if I was using antivirals and this was BAD ADVICE. Condoms cannot protect 100% against transmitting genital hsv. The virus can infect skin not covered by condoms and pretty much leaves you vulnerable. It is also possible to be reinfected with other strains of hsv that are difficult to treat. My dr didn't warn me against this either.

Epsom salt baths can sooth the infected area and bath powders such as Aveeno Active Naturals and also Domeboro powder which can be added to a bath or used as a compress for infected areas to help heal quicker.

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One day and counting.....

Thanks for the advice on everything. I am hoping to try to treat this naturally instead of using antivirals for now. I mean it is uncomfortable, but bareable. My mind is what is bothering me now......

I took 3000 mg of lysine yesterday, along with Vitamin C with Rose Hips and Zinc. I read in my Family Herbal book that lysine shouldn't be taken at that doseage for more that a few days so I will drop down tomorrow.

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I wish you all the best. I have always been health conscious and although I didn't know hsv was responsible for symptoms I was experiencing I did many of the things that should help keep ob's away and for the most part it worked except for the outrageous itching and severe back pain (no blisters) the antivirals are the one thing that 90% got rid of my other symptoms.

I hope you have good results taking the natural path. It is really the preferred route I'd take if it would work for me.

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Well, this is a switch.....

I went to my appointment at Planned Parenthood today and was seen by a very sweet, older lady that examined me and took a culture. I told her my story and was almost in tears because the gravity of this whole situation started to catch up to me. What she said to me threw me for a loop....she says she is not convinced it is genital herpes and this is why.....

1. She say the sore spots are starting to heal already, which is unusual for an initial outbreak.

2. When she swabbed the area, I didn't even flinch and she stated that when some people come in, they are in so much pain getting swabbed is a nightmare to them.

3. I wasn't at all sick. Usually, she sees people come in that are sick...they look sick, they feel sick, they have swellings in their groin area....which I have, but not on the level that she has seen them.

I asked her, well what else could it be, and she told me it could be a yeast infection and gave me some Mycolog II for the sores. She did not definitively rule out herpes though and my culture ahould be back in a week, so I will keep up with my vitamins and not get my hopes up that it isn't. I know that there are instances where someone shows no symtoms or very mild ones, so I know that it is still possible. It's not like I am going to go hop on my boyfriend anytime soon, as much as I want to :p .

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My personal experience would say that her comments may apply to many people but not to all.

2 years after my first ob which was about 10 years after my initial infection I had a major ob and I had all of the classic symptoms but never in the past. So this is not a perfect science.

Nonetheless I hope your test results come back hsv free. However, I would still go back in about 3 months and get at least blood tested again if this time you have complete negative results just to be certain there aren't false negatives showing up. Timing is everything.

Also many of us see to get hsv ob's and yeast infections simultaneously or the yeast infections brings on the hsv ob.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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