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hiding Honeycomb Member

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Posted
Posted

Ok here's my situation: I have HSV1 only ORAL( I haven't been tested or anything but I'm pretty sure its 1 since I never kiss or have sex with anyone) and I just started going out with this girl I've been talking to for a long time.

She doesn't know.

I haven't had an OB in almost 1 year but the thought of herpes never leaves my mind. We have popped kissed a good amount and made out only a couple times because naturally I am feeling guilty/cautious because I love her and don't want her to have it.

Now I'm facing what I've always dreaded. I've really wanted to tell her but you how hard it is. If she has had a normal cold sore like the one(s) you commonly see, is she immune?

Does making out pose any major threat if I'm not in an OB phrase?

Does pop kissing pose any major threat if I'm not in an OB phase?

It seems like I'm just trying to avoid the talk. Or am i overreacting?

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Caliope Platinum Support Member

Caliope

Posted
Posted

so I guess you may have gotten this from a family member as a youngster? it would be impossible to know which strain it is without testing.

As far as the conversation I'd just ask her if she's ever had a cold sore and take it from there - nothing to scary or complicated. It is just a friendly fact finding conversation.

Communication is key to any good relationship. Lying or not disclosing important information can kill a relationship in lightening speed. While you are still young it would be good to get in the habit of expecting mutual honesty in all of your relationships not only from yourself but anyone worthy of spending time with. I consider it respect and it goes both ways.

The truth is that ob or no ob it is impossible to know when you are contagious. You can take daily antiviral suppressive therapy and it can reduce ob's and reduce the chance of spreading it. Since summer is coming you should know that sunshine is known to cause ob's. I'd invest in a good lip balm that has sunscreen and apply it often if you'll be enjoying the summer weather.

If you end up not talking to her the sunshine could cause an ob and then you'll be stuck explaining it to her and that would be a drag. It's better to do it sooner and it could help the two of you bond.

And she might get them too and be totally understanding and supportive - how can you know if you don't go there?

good luck.

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seobeglobal Newbie

seobeglobal

Posted
Posted

well i don't know about that thing you have but it sounds pretty serious. you must tell her about your situation, if you really love her, that's the best you can do you'll see that she could help you

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  • 2 weeks later...
ouch Platinum Support Member

ouch

Posted
Posted

yeah, just say, hey by the way, I do get cold sores. Not much, not often, but it happens. The majority of people in the U.S have HSV1. They just doctor it up with a pretty packaged label "cold sores". The key thing is no smooching when a sore is present or if you FEEL as if one might be turning up. (the tingling or itchy sensation) . Then do hugs and no kisses. But otherwise, honestly, it is pretty easy to keep an eye on oral hsv and know when you are having or about to have an outbreak, thus abstain. Wish it were so simple with genital herpes!!! (especially hard for us ladies to know for sure, since, well, our plumbing works a bit different then you lads!)

As mentioned by others, be sure to use nice lip balms and keep the lips mosturized and protected from the sun. This can help PREVENT and outbreak.

Good luck and go kiss ahoy. Tell her...I am willing to be she gets cold sores too!

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      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      HSV genital likely?

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

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    • TS4real
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      By TS4real · Posted

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      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      How are you doing now?
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