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how do i comfort my friend?


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Hi I'm new,

My best friend just tested positive for herpes. The doctor told her on the phone and said she had to come in to get tested again. She's very upset and crying. She doesn't understand, she's never had unprotected sex. She's been sobbing and asking "Why me?!" "I didn't do anything wrong".

She just met a boy she really likes and he seems to really like her. I have no idea how to comfort her. I urged her to call her mother (who is a doctor). I tried to tell her this does not define her life. But she's so upset. I'm going to with her to get retested but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell her it's going to be okay, when this will affect her life in a dramatic way.

I don't understand. She had protected sex! What are the odds of this happening? It's so unfair.

Can anyone answer these questions, or give me any advice?



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It is an incredibly hard diagnosis to get. All you can do is be there with a shoulder to cry on and let her know that things will get better. Education will make the difference.

As for "protected sex" there is no such thing with hsv. You must understand that the virus is not contained to the penis or the vagina or even the mouth and any skin to skin contact with an active ob can lead to an infection.

read up on it here.


It's great that you are there for your friend. Most of us have to deal with this alone.

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You are a Gem for being such a good friend!

Just going to the appointment with her and being there for her is such a gift of friendship and support. The rest will fall into place.

I don't know what I would have done without my best friends being there for me.

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educate her. get all the info you can and just talk about it.

it wont kill her, people who dont sleep around- are still able to get it (aunt betty could have kissed u years ago w/ a coldsore etc)

better get that new boy checked out> especially if they have had sex, and she had no symptoms before him.

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she cauld of got if from receiving oral sex. does she get mouth coldsores?, as she cauld of infected herself..

be there for her, the next for months will be hard for her and she will need friends like you..

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your friend is very lucky to have you. i have a few very good (best) friends, but i cannot bring myself to tell any of them. maybe because i have yet to accept my diagnosis totally. if i did not have this forum, i would have nobody at all share my concerns, thoughts, feelings with.

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