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Gauguin71

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Gauguin71 Honeycomb Member

Gauguin71

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I am a 35yo male living in NJ. Last tuesday night I discovered over the phone that I've been exposed to Herpes 2. My doctor already had prescribed me acyclovir, which I finish last monday. I have fallen in a great depression to the point of comtemplating suicide. I walked to the GWB the other day and looked down to the Hudson River wondering if I would suffer by killling myself jumping from the bridge.

I can't stop crying and everything seen blurry, I haven't been to work since tuesday.

I blame myself for this. After a long term relationship that I ended 4 years ago I became very active (sexually), I met people, always used protection, always been very picky and clean, and I don't understand how did I get it.

I have been dating a good man for about 4 months now he is very supportive and loving, I'm just afraid I'll drive him away with my fears.

Gauguin71

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WaxedWrong Acknowledged Support Member

WaxedWrong

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herpes will not kill you, it doesnt change who you are.

there are alot worse things that you could have, aids, cancer,etc.

you should go back to the bridge, and look at the view and think damn this is beautiful good thing im here to see this.

it takes a while, but after the initial shock, really herpes is not that bad. its something that comes and goes, and unless you are having a outbreak you rarely think about it in your daily life.

you dont have to be having sex to have herpes, also theres a possibility that the person you where with for years had it with no symptoms and gave it to you, really theres a bunch of possibilites, but does it matter? not really, cause this will make you a stronger person.

you already have what most people want, is a relationship, if hes open and loving to you with herpes, dont ruin it.

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Gauguin71 Honeycomb Member

Gauguin71

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Thanks

Thank you very much for your message. I am feeling better now, I'm trying to proccess this situation. I get my ups and downs, and I'm kind of turning to alcohol. I feel very guilty for the guys I dated before, I don't know if they have it now. Guilt is what most hurts.

Thanks again

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lil'bit Honeycomb Member

lil'bit

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Gaugin welcome to the club. i dont know about everyone else but i've gone through the samething your going through, the fears the crying not know what to do always using protection and also being picky about my partners. Believe me it does get better i'm recently diagnosed and i found ways of easing the burden. if the guy u say is as good as u claim he'll be supportive not only as a friend but as a partner as he wont care one bit. and PLEASE DONT HURT YOURSELF

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uk girl Established Member

uk girl

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Waxed Wrong is so right,in the early days you think about this 24/7, then after a while you really dont give it much thought, only while having an OB.

It's not the end of the world, it feels like it at first, but you will get thru this.

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