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Giving up

Gauguin71

By Gauguin71
in Newly Diagnosed

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Gauguin71 Honeycomb Member

Gauguin71

Posted
Posted

Hello everyone:

It's been 5 days since I was told I've been exposed to Herpes 2 and I'm fallling deeper and deeper into a depression. I'm not sure if it is part of finding out, or because of other issues I have about my life. So far I have told my boyfriend of 4 months and 3 other friends, they tell me it is just a bump on the road, that I'll be ok soon. After all, my health is in good shape and I have some people who really cares for me. I just feel like Life it isn't worth anymore.

I grew up fearful of HIV, It was hard for my to find partners who would care as much as I do about being safe and clean. I always practiced safe sex and I've always been very clean and picky. I know of people who would get out of control when it comes to sex, some friend of mine goes to the bath-houses to engaged in anonymous sex, he also goes to parks to hook up with guys. I'm not judging him.

I don't want to pretent that I am a saint or something. But I always look for a relationship more than just sex. Now that I found someone who I connect with very well, this happens... it is painfull, I feel non-funtioning, I wake up at 5 in the morning and can't go back to sleep tossong and turning on my bed. I get up, don't feel hungry at all, I'm forcing my self to eat, I already lost a few pounds.

Am I going to be able to have sex with my boyfriend again, or this is the end of our sexlife.

If I have no symptoms on my genital area (pennnis, testicles) can't he perform oral sex on me?

is it true that some people will never get outbreaks in their lifetime? could I be one of those people, so far all I got was a small sore around my retum area, my boyfriend doesn't go there pretty much. I am the top when it comes to sex.

I'm sorry if I'm being too explicit.

Some one tell me, I'm not a bad dirty person.

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Caliope Platinum Support Member

Caliope

Posted
Posted

This virus doesn't descriminate against anyone and unfortunately condoms are not 100% effective against contracting or transmitting hsv. It sucks. You could have only had sex once in your life and be that unlucky.

That diagnosis was one of the worst phone calls I received in my life. And yes it is downright depressing. You will feel better. Things will turn around. Right now you are in shock. You're probably wondering "why me?", "will anyone ever love me with this dreaded virus?", "what did I do to deserve this?" . . .

You didn't do anything to deserve this and you will find someone who will love you. You will get to have sex again. But. . . you will need to let your partners know that you have it before you have oral or genital sexual contact. There is no cure and it is contagious.

What I recommend is that you do what feels comfortable for you right now. If you want to sit around the house and be a hermit and avoid people do it and get it out of your system. If you want to spoil yourself rotten and get a new haircut or buy some new clothes do it if it makes you feel better or more attractive. You need to concentrate on you and what will give you peace and serenity. Being stressed out just makes it worse.

If the ob is bad I recommend maybe a long soak in the tub with epsom salts or Aveeno Active Naturals bath powder.

Antivirals can help. There are vitamin supplements that help too. Mostly keep being healthy, drink lots of water, exercise and treat yourself really good. Get lots of sleep and put your health first.

This might help.

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/immune-system.htm

Things will get better. I promise.

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Caliope Platinum Support Member

Caliope

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I'd wait to have any sexual contact until this ob is completely gone. It may only be around your rectum right now but it can show up anywhere in the "boxer short" area and he could get it orally and that wouldn't be cool.

He should get tested for this too. You can have it for years and never know and never have symptoms.

here's a little info on the viruses.

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/herpes_simplex_1_and_2.htm

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