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Hello everyone:

It's been 5 days since I was told I've been exposed to Herpes 2 and I'm fallling deeper and deeper into a depression. I'm not sure if it is part of finding out, or because of other issues I have about my life. So far I have told my boyfriend of 4 months and 3 other friends, they tell me it is just a bump on the road, that I'll be ok soon. After all, my health is in good shape and I have some people who really cares for me. I just feel like Life it isn't worth anymore.

I grew up fearful of HIV, It was hard for my to find partners who would care as much as I do about being safe and clean. I always practiced safe sex and I've always been very clean and picky. I know of people who would get out of control when it comes to sex, some friend of mine goes to the bath-houses to engaged in anonymous sex, he also goes to parks to hook up with guys. I'm not judging him.

I don't want to pretent that I am a saint or something. But I always look for a relationship more than just sex. Now that I found someone who I connect with very well, this happens... it is painfull, I feel non-funtioning, I wake up at 5 in the morning and can't go back to sleep tossong and turning on my bed. I get up, don't feel hungry at all, I'm forcing my self to eat, I already lost a few pounds.

Am I going to be able to have sex with my boyfriend again, or this is the end of our sexlife.

If I have no symptoms on my genital area (pennnis, testicles) can't he perform oral sex on me?

is it true that some people will never get outbreaks in their lifetime? could I be one of those people, so far all I got was a small sore around my retum area, my boyfriend doesn't go there pretty much. I am the top when it comes to sex.

I'm sorry if I'm being too explicit.

Some one tell me, I'm not a bad dirty person.

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This virus doesn't descriminate against anyone and unfortunately condoms are not 100% effective against contracting or transmitting hsv. It sucks. You could have only had sex once in your life and be that unlucky.

That diagnosis was one of the worst phone calls I received in my life. And yes it is downright depressing. You will feel better. Things will turn around. Right now you are in shock. You're probably wondering "why me?", "will anyone ever love me with this dreaded virus?", "what did I do to deserve this?" . . .

You didn't do anything to deserve this and you will find someone who will love you. You will get to have sex again. But. . . you will need to let your partners know that you have it before you have oral or genital sexual contact. There is no cure and it is contagious.

What I recommend is that you do what feels comfortable for you right now. If you want to sit around the house and be a hermit and avoid people do it and get it out of your system. If you want to spoil yourself rotten and get a new haircut or buy some new clothes do it if it makes you feel better or more attractive. You need to concentrate on you and what will give you peace and serenity. Being stressed out just makes it worse.

If the ob is bad I recommend maybe a long soak in the tub with epsom salts or Aveeno Active Naturals bath powder.

Antivirals can help. There are vitamin supplements that help too. Mostly keep being healthy, drink lots of water, exercise and treat yourself really good. Get lots of sleep and put your health first.

This might help.


Things will get better. I promise.

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I'd wait to have any sexual contact until this ob is completely gone. It may only be around your rectum right now but it can show up anywhere in the "boxer short" area and he could get it orally and that wouldn't be cool.

He should get tested for this too. You can have it for years and never know and never have symptoms.

here's a little info on the viruses.


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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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