Damaged forever

[Guest Anonymous]

I grew up in a family that most would consider "beaver cleaver". Perfect in almost every way. If i knew then what i know now.......only if i knew then what i know now, DAMNIT!

It was new years 2000, great night by all other means. I met a guy who was handsome, witty, and all about me. We talked a kissed all night. I woke up the next day with a blister on my lip. Hopeing, praying it was a zit, i popped it. but it didnt pop like a zit, it oozed like what i read cold sores acted. I couldnt believe it, my heart dropped, and i went through a depression that lasted for a few months until i realized that most people have cold sores. I slowly picked up the pieces and just accepted that I'd have to deal with this new "thing" in my life.....

But now my heart has dropped again. Last week i noticed a zit on my chin. the next day the zit turned into 4 zits and looked more like cold sores. But how could this be? You dont get cold sores on your chin? after more research i found that, yes, you can get the HSV virus just about anywhere. I was/AM devastated. This outbreak is not one i can hide with makeup like the ones i get on my lips. Now my entire chin in covered in oozing postules, crusty and gross. Ive called into work sick, too embarassed to show my face anywhere. Ive called my parents to tell them i'm too sick to come home for Thanksgiving. What did i do in life to deserve this? If God has a plan for everyone, then why does my plan include herpes??

This most recent chin breakout came a month after i met Mike. He's a sweet guy, very relationship oriented, believes in God, believes in monogamy, and seems to really care for me. I trust him completely, but i also have reason to believe that he passed this most recent strain of HSV to me. I went to the docotor to get a culture done and some blood work to see if this most recent outbreak is a new strain. What will i do if it turns out he gave me this horendous strain of HSV? I care for him, but i think there may be a slight feeling of resentment. how would you deal with this? He is very careing and has supported me thoroughly through this disgusting outbreak. But at the same time he may have given me the worst form of HSV.

What about our sex lives? the possibility of transmission to the genitals. Am i doomed? If i leave him, i have to explain to the next person the possible risks. if i dont leave him i have to worry about the possible transmission from mouth to genitals. I feel so dirty and damaged. even when i see another person with a cold sore, i think its dirty and gross. i could only imagine what people would think if they saw this outbreak on my chin. I feel like im un--human, like i should be left in the gutter. why does this have to be? why has this happened to me? why now do i have to be persecuted everytime i have a break out? why do i have to be so.............,

DEVASTATED

[Faith]

Hi,

Are you calling all of us who have HSV "Un-human".....??? LOL...

But well... I can imagine. Cold sores on your face must be very annoying and can make you very self-conscious. Because it shows....

If you get outbreaks too often, maybe talk to your doctor and take one of those anti-viral...? I'm not taking any, but one girl told me that since she started taking Valtrex, she hasn't gotten any outbreak....

But by reading your post, I got an impression.........

Everything which is short of "your ideal" bothers you, doesn't it...?

Ask yourself...

Aren't you the one who judge yourself as un-human who should be left in the gutter, and persecute yourself..?

You may not wanna hear this, but... You seem like you are trying to live on a ground which doesn't even exist. If you keep living in a fantasy world, you'll miss out a lot of wonderful things in the real world... including people who really care for you..

Best wishes....

Faith

[Guest Anonymous]

thanks for your support

[elwhip]

Try Vit C

Hi dear Devastated

I hope you get this reply/comment..

I got herpes 2 from my husband 4 years ago; we were newly married, I got VERY sick, went to the doctor, and herpes was diagnosed - I couldn't believe it. When my husband heard the diagnosis he sheepishly admitted that it was herpes and that he had given it to me. He knew exactly where he had gotten it; the woman who had given it to him had been absolutely honest with him (bless her heart!). I wasn't as fortunate. Although condoms don't give a lot of protection, I would have liked to at least have had the option to try and protect myself. He just said that he hadn't had an outbreak for a long time, and had forgotten he had it.

Well, to cut a long story short, it's now 4 years later, we are getting divorced - not because of the herpes. I get far fewer attacks these days. It is DEFINITELY linked to the state of your immunity, and I have found that taking 1000mg of Vit C every morning has helped me. So whether it's herpes 1 (which seems to be the one you have) or herpes 2, the key to limiting the severity and frequency of attacks is to keep your immune system strong. Eat healthy, try and get some fresh air every day, drink lots of water (an acquired habit - doesn't come easily at first). I also practise very strict personal hygiene when I have an outbreak. I wash the affected part very thoroughly with soap, then wash my hands and scrub my fingernails with soap before touching anywhere else. I pat the area dry with a disposable paper towel.

Just some practical suggestions, which I hope you'll find useful. They've worked for me.

Fondly,

Rina.

[Guest Anonymous]

Thank You RINA!! I will keep my diet and immune systeim in top shape!