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hello to all, just found out yesterday that i have genital herpes, but i've been in an outbreak for about a week, i feel like the pain is never going to end, i feel pretty worthless but i'm trying to be strong. i'm looking forward to being able to relate to others in my postition. thank you in advance for all your support!

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Hang in there Girl

Hi sweet heart - I'm so sorry to hear of your bad news! You must know that life will go on. Its hard to soak in the shocking news I KNOW! I found out weeks ...no, its been about a month ago and I can still sometimes not believe how this is going to change my life and then I think so what?!! There are so many people with this thing and I don't know about you but I certainly have ALOT of living left to do. ...alot of place to visit, new friends to meet, new careers to be had, I have so many things: a loving famiy (not one of my own but I'm trying to be positive hear:) and a family of my own I could still one day have (please GOD!!!) and I want to live by the ocean for at least a year of my life and go sky diving and to concerts and I want to fall in love again. These things can all happen if I encourage them and don't let some dumb a@@ virus get in my way. Love you girl! Hang in there and write me or vent to me ANYTIME! We are all in the same boat and need to lean on eachother, okay!?! Take care!!!

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thank you so much, i feel better already just reading about other people's experiences, unfortunately there is a lot more to my story, i'm supposed to be getting married in 2 months but now my fiance may be leaving me, he thinks i've been unfaithful, i have not been but he doesn't see how its possible that i could have had this for years and just now found out, i don't know either but thats just the reality of it, maybe i had some symptoms before that i didn't know where hsv? i don't know, hes gonna go get tested and think about things, i'm trying to be understanding and give him some space but the thought of losing him is terrifying. i wish he'd believe me.

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welcome penelope...

I hope you get some relief soon! There are some things that help a lot. It's good to get some suppliments like.. Lysine, Vit B's, Vit C, Zinc. Maybe buy some epsom salts to use in a bath, That tends to sooth an OB. You can use a blow dryer (on low) to dry off and dry out the OB area.

The emotional part is hard in the begining, But it gets easier with time. Be good to yourself and get plenty of rest. Try to do something nice for yourself everyday, Just simple things that bring you joy.

Take Care!

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Penelope - Shayna gave some good healthy suggestions for dealing with stuff.

I'm sorry about your guy. It's possible he could have had this for years and not have known and infected you too. I hope he can be open minded.

Here is a link that explains some stuff.


Here is one with advice for ob's.


I've found that putting something like vaseline or a&d ointment or even desitin ointment on the sores helps them be not so sensitive.

best wishes.

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why do you say he "may" be leaving you? has he said/implied that the relationship is over, or that he does not want to get married? has he said he would get tested? have you even talked to him about this or are you assuming that the wedding will not take place? i am sure that you have planned this, have dresses and suits, reception hall, etc, etc. if it is only two weeks away, you really need to find out what is going on, either way. sit on him till he tells ya if ya have to. no sense playing a guessing game.

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I hope you can get things sorted out with your fiance. Unfortunately, from some men, getting "no answer" is the same as getting a "No" answer. My simple suggestion is to make your desires 100% clear to him, in a simple, non-dramatic and non-emotional way. Be clear that you want to continue, you would like him to continue at his own free will and that you need to hear from him about his decision by a certain date or the plans will have to be called off.

Alternatively, you can call tell him and suggest calling the plans off until you two have had a chance to adjust and figure out the best answer for each/both of you. I don't know you're thinking, but this solution will help you be more in the driver's seat so you can start moving forward (in whichever direction) rather than waiting in a holding pattern.

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    • CHT
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    • FeelingLost75
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