One of the worst weeks ever

[Caliope]

I've been trying to be positive and upbeat since I found out about having hsv. Especially because I know how crucial it is to try to stay even and calm.

I've been taking my vitamins and the antivirals with a plan to get my immune system stronger and hopefully just continue without needing the antivirals.

This week has absolutely kicked my butt. As each new thing has cropped up I've tried to isolate it and deal with what I can and to try to let the rest just go until I can do something. It hasn't worked as well as I'd like and I have a full blown ob. Now I know that the little ones I've had since March are really just little reminders and not ob's per se.

I'm still optimistic and I've retained the best attitude I can but this week has left me exhausted and I have this feeling hanging over me that I just want to get back in my bed and cry.

It started on Monday with an idiot at work sexually harassing me, I had a big hearing the next day and I didn't need this kinda stuff to worry about. What do you do when some asshole in a powerful job just doesn't get the hint that you're not interested? The day of the hearing my son had a crisis and called me at work, I was stuck and couldn't help him. When I finally could call him back he was very upset and it upset me more. The following day I find out my housing refinance plan has gone sideways and I could potentially lose thousands. I get home and my beloved kitty is ill so I spend the night in the emergency room. On Friday his veterinarian tells me we could be dealing with cancer and when I get home from the hospital my central air conditioning unit has died and its over a 100 degrees outside. I'm financially sound but this crappy week has cost me at least $10k that I don't have.

I used the domeboro powder and applied a&d ointment and it wasn't too painful but the heat makes the itch come back. Took a soak with epsom salts. Today I used some pramoxine gel to cut the itch and upped my lysine and vitamin c's. Might use more domeboro later.

I'm bummed because I only get to see my guy on weekends and this creates a big disappointment. Thankfully he understands.

Realistically I know that I can deal with the ob it is mostly a painful nuisance and I also know that even in the best relationships you don't have sex everytime you see each other. But when you don't see each other as often as you want and an ob messes that up it is really disappointing. Additionally I find myself feeling shame that this virus is disrupting my plans with my guy. Is this silly?

[memyselfI]

Girl!!! .....

Girl! You ARE NOT SILLY! It is okay to feel pissed about getting & living with this horrible virus. It is okay to feel sad about getting & living with this horrible virus. It is human to have negative feelings all over the map about getting and living with this horrible virus. I too try to rely on my HP and be positive about all the good things in life. I posted today about how I was feeling sorry for myself which I now realize if for no good reason except perhaps physical lack of sleep, poor diet and stress affecting my outlook on life ….and that I’m human too. But chickeeta, my luv, you have had a crap a@@ week. I hereby declare taking on your guilt for you today. It seems as though, while maintaining a positive attitude, you may have been trying to balance five-hundred-million pounds on your shoulders. Please give the rest of your day (and tomorrow if you like, call in sick – you are in fact sick with the ob and you need a mental health day luv) to do the things YOU DESERVE!!! Rent a chick flick, cry when you feel like it, get a mud mask (for your face dear) eat something with too many calories, buy yourself for yourself (over the internet if you don’t feel like going out). Love yourself and much as you love others and the results could be miraculous!!!! …I can tell from reading your posts that you have a huge heart and are a great friend, sounds like a great mom, a great employee, and infinite. PlEASE try to Luv yourself today (tomorrow and the next day and the next day…) ..as much as God loves you!!!! You are in my prayers!

[penelope]

you know what you need....ice cream lots of it! I can't believe how terrible your week has been, i really hope things get better for you soon!!! You are such an inspiration to so many people on here and i have read so many of your posts and you really take a lot of time out of your day to make others informed and to help them get through it so I just wanted you to know how much I have appreciated everything you write and how it has helped me immensly!!!

[Shayna]

(((Caliope)))

When it rains...it pours!

Hopefully everything will work itself out quickly for you.

Sometimes we're the dog, and sometimes we're the fire hydrant.

It sucks.. Especially when the stress causes an OB!

I hope you and your boyfriend can have a sweet, relaxing, weekend together.

Those financial things can look bad and turn themselves around. I hope that's the case this time for you.

It sounds like you are doing everything you possibly can to take good care of yourself. I hope you bounce back soon!

Maybe you need a big 8X10 glossy of you and your boyfriend on your desk at work for that guy to see?!

[uk girl]

What a crap week,but you are coping, one of these things would of sent someone not as strong as you over the edge, you are strong and you will get over this crap.

Try not to let all of these problems roll together into one massive one, that is to big to deal with.

I know your son is upset,and as a mom you feel awful for not being there. explain the situation, hug him spend some quality time with him,unfortunatly guilt and being a mom go hand in hand.

As for that arse hole who thinks he is gods gift, go through the correct channels,record every conversation that takes place, are other employees aware of how he harasses you?you might need to call on them should you take it higher.

Maybe your chap could come to your office, meet you from work, so that this dickhead is aware you have found the love of your life.

Is there another company that could help with the refinancing situation?

Are there other options, could you put it on hold until you feel up to sorting it out?

I understand how you feel about your cat, i haven't got any now(husbands allergic)but always had them we once lost them to cat flu which is HIV in cats,can they treat him? how advanced is it?

go with what the vets says they really know best, vets are compassionate, they love animals and will only want the best for your cat, have faith in them.

As for your air con, well we don't need it here, it rains all the bloody time, get it fixed if you can then couldn't you go on some sort of service plan, that you pay monthly, but they can be called out when it breaks,for future reassurance.

As for your chap,you are not being silly at all, i know you feel disappointed, couldn't you still pamper him in the bedroom???, what about a nice meal then massage, some people find them very erotic, and maybe even more if it doesn't involve sex(worth a try).

You are their for sooo many people,you give such good sound advice, now it's your turn to receive it,dont try and tackle it all at once.

Pamper yourself, indulge yourself, a few early nights, stress is making this happen, laugh in the face of adversity!!

Probably wrote a load of crap, but it took your mind of it for a while didn't it!!!!

Take care

[annyi]

Caliope, anxiety and emotions trigger and make things worse... you are doing all the right things, so just let your body takes care the rest... make the best of the current situation. Try to meditate, use scented oils, focusing on what you can do... your body is stronger than you think when you give it space to do its job... sleep more...tell your son momy is sick this week, will catch up with him a week later... make a list of pills to take and time, get the load off your mind, it will pass soon...

[bluefrog]

caliope,

at least you have somebody in your life, somebody to love and talk to and share your feelings, about everything, with, including this disgusting virus. hang in there, lots of us out here look to you and your posts for support!!! NO PRESSURE!!

[leebee]

I totally understand, my boyfriend lives 4 hours away and we get to see each other about twice a month. I have found that the excitement/nervousness of seeing him sometimes brings on a outbreak and then I end up not having sex with him for a month or more at a time because the rare times that I get to see him, I have an outbreak!!!! It is so incredibly annoying...and extremely disappointing at the same time.

[Ms.Informed]

Hi Caliope, I just read this post so it's been a while. By now I hope things are much more comfortable in all respects. I just wanted to say that I hope you feel better and thanks for asking for support when you needed it so that everyone could reciprocate a little luvin' your way. ms.

[Caliope]

Ms. Informed - thank you but unfortunately its still dragging out. some of it has resolved but I'm having one heck of an ob and had to change to a different antiviral medication, which I started yesterday. here's to the great results I hope to have.

[Ms.Informed]

I'm sorry to hear that you're still not well. How long has this ob been? Seems to me you mentioned that your obs generally were less persistent (as far as genital symptoms are concerned). You are very well informed so I won't go to the "have you tried" discussion. I will, however, reiterate that you are much appreciated and have been given a special gift in caring for others. Draw on that energy for your own health. Have a better day..ms.

[mroy324]

Without sounding too cheesy....

Tomorrow is another day. Keep your head and wits about you. You can and will get better. You've been such a rock for so many of us....let us take care of you while you get past this rough spot. Feel better...we're all here.

[Caliope]

thank you.

[annyi]

Caliope,

I hope your ob is healing up now... in the later stage of my obs, it seemed to have helped using antibiotics. Because the breakout were first caused by virus, but then it had the "secondary infection" which related to bacteria where topical and oral antibiotics can do some benefit... Also when there are no open wounds, give a try on purell too.

Hope well soon...

[Caliope]

Annyi - thanks for the encouragement. the ob's are still going strong and I've moved on to a new antiviral medication. As much as we might try to not let stress get to us it is human nature to react internally. I'm being optimistic and trudging forward.