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Hi, I'm brand new and totally clueless and need infomation please.


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Hey all,

I thought it best to clarify right from the start that I am clueless and the more information that I have tried to get on the internet has made me more so. I feel almost silly since there are so many amazing people dealing so well with difficult issues on here and I'm not even certain that I have much of an issue at all and I feel even more silly being so worried about it as much as I am in light of all that.

My paranoid concern is that I was recently home and shared lipstick and a cigarette with my ex-sister- in law that had a cold sore at the time. A few days later, my mother told me that she had been having an affair with someone with Herpes type 2, and frankly I'm freaking out a little bit. I've been in a monogamous relationship for almost 19 years and have never in my life had so much as a cold sore. The information seems so scattered that I can find. It seems from my confused reading that you can get HSV2, even though it is the genital form, but that can manifest in a cold sore in terms of passing it on and can be passed on in a shared lipstick etc, but there seems to be a lot of scattered and confusing information about that. Which unfortunately leaves me pretty scattered and confused as well. What are the facts? Should I be seriously concerned or even a little concerned even? It is very confusing to me and I certainly don't want to be a paranoid nut about it, but I can't help but be worried. Just as an FYI too, my Ex sister in law would never possibly take a test to find out if she was infected. She doesn't deal with health issues that way. Never has and never will unfortunately. Again, I would appreciate any information and assistance that you could give me on this.

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your friend- as you said had a cold sore at the time= she already has herpes. coldsores are herpes, which type, only a test could tell.

-- you should be very concerned-- if she was having a active outbreak at the time of sharing anything- and especially if you are using/sharing the items right after she used them. so concerned that you should get tested, especially if you are experiecing any symptoms.

hsv2, is not just genital, you can have it oraly as well. same goes for type 1. now a days with all the oral sex, things have been changing, and type 2 isnt just genital, and type 1 isnt just oral.

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I was afraid of that. I don't have any symptoms that I am at all aware of. From what I understand, I would need to wait for two weeks up to three months to take a test for that to be effective because of antibodies needing time to show up or something along those lines? Is that correct?

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yup, thats correct you need time for the antibodies to set up shop. you can always get tested in intervals, like one now- one at the end of the month- and so on. if your able to get the western blot test go for that, it can show if you have it or not the first time.

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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