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Do I confront him??


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Don't know if this really a realtionship post but here it goes. To make a long story short I was diagnosed 15 months ago via blood test with HSVII. Based on my pass and understanding of intial outbreaks I am 99% sure that I contracted this virus 10 years ago from an ex. Now while the ex and I have not dated in 10 years we have remained cordial and would speak on occasions (like once every 5-6 months) just to say hey how are? Well normally the typical response is I'm good everything is wonderful yada yada. Well since my diagnosis I no longer answer his calls. I would think that after a year he would have just taken the hint that I don't want to talk. But NOOOO now I guarantee that he will call at least once a month in hopes that I will answer. So here is my Problem. I soo want to just answer his call and say "look I'm not answering you calls because no longer is my life just peachy I have herpes thanks to your cheating ways back in the day, So please stop calling me your calls are ruining my life even more." But here is the problem. Now while I'm not sure of the person he has become in the last ten years. The person of the pass would definitely be one of those people who would deny it, blab my business, or silently smirk and say I guess she wasn't all that afterall (I always got the feeling that he thought that I thought I was better than he since I grew up and tried to make something of my life.) We dated up until I was 19. So of course my life has changed dramatically. He has also gotten married so this could also possibly affect his wife. What Should I do? Should I just continue to ignore his calls or should I just confront him and hope that he has become a better man and will fess up to what's goign on? In additon to this there are to other men that I dated in the pass ten years that I could have possibly exposed the virus to that I still occasionally communicate with should I tell them? They both have also moved on with their lives and I would hate to put a damper on their persoanl lives but my concscience occasionally gets the best of me when I'm having a convo with them and not being completely honest.

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Time ta cut the cord.

Is he aware he has herpes? and if he is would it change anything? If it were me,I'd take the next call and tell him to discontinue contacting you.

If he asked why....you don't need a reason.No dramaintics no emotinal out breaks,just don't call me any more "I moving on" is all he needs to know.

If need be you may havta change your number if he dosen't abide by your requists.Good luck.

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I don't know if he is aware he has it or not. He has never said anything to me. We are not cordial enough to have any type of deep conversations. If he is aware that he has it. Maybe he thinks I don't since I've never mentioned. Like I stated in my previous post we have not been together in 10 years.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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