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Hi. I'm new here. I'm still not sure that I actually have HSV but I have a pretty strong gut feeling that I do. I am so scared and I feel so ashamed.

I've been reading everyone else's stories and it all seems so innocent "I got it from my ex fiance who didn't know he had it..."

I got this virus in the most shameful way ever. I had an affair and contracted it. I was having a lot of problems in my marriage and became friends with this guy I met on the internet (also married). It started out innocent enough - just encouraging eachother in our daily pursuits. After a while things got more serious and soon we were planning to be together forever (or so I thought).

I'm such a fool. I totally trusted this guy and he was lying to me all along. After we broke up I found out he was fooling around with several other women.

When we finally did meet I wasn't careful enough and contracted this. I didn't even realize it at the time. I kept getting what I thought were yeast infections, except there was no discharge. I'd get itchy around a week before my period and use Monistat then get my period within a few days and the itchiness would be gone. Around May I started suspecting it was something worse because who gets yeast infections every month? So, in total denial, I started trying every over the counter itch reliever I could think of - witch hazel, cortizone 10, vagisil, gold bond powder, you name it I tried it. Nothing seemed to be working.

But the thing is I didn't see any visible signs of it. I kept looking up my privates with a mirror and pen light and saw no obvious blisters or anything like that. Finally, a few weeks ago it really started to itch and burn bad. I decided to try using hydrogen peroxide. I've used this on oral cold sores before and when I put it on one it fizzes up and, I guess makes it rupture or something, then it goes away. I tried dabbing it on the areas that were most itchy/burny but it did nothing. The next morning in the shower I took a cup of hydrogen peroxide and kind of poured it up me (I was sitting on the floor of the tub). It burned really bad and seemed to get worse throughout the day. That night when I went to bed I felt like someone was grinding broken glass into my vagina.

I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and afterward looked with my mirror and I had this huge ulcer where I had poured the peroxide. The next day I called Planned Parenthood and asked to come in for STD testing. The appointment wasn't for two days, at which time the lesion was really starting to dry up. I got the culture test (which came back negative) but the nurse warned me that I might get a false negative. I have to wait until 16 weeks after exposure to get the antigen test, so I'm in limbo. On the good side I tested negative for gonorrhea, chlamydia & syphillis.

The nurse prescribed valtrex 500mg twice daily for 5 days which seemed to do absolutely nothing. I feel like I've just had this huge outbreak for like the last month and its never going to go away.

Has anyone else experienced this? The valtrex not working and a really prolonged outbreak? What did you do? Is there another drug that might work better?

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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