Not sure...

[always searching]

Hi. I'm new here. I'm still not sure that I actually have HSV but I have a pretty strong gut feeling that I do. I am so scared and I feel so ashamed.

I've been reading everyone else's stories and it all seems so innocent "I got it from my ex fiance who didn't know he had it..."

I got this virus in the most shameful way ever. I had an affair and contracted it. I was having a lot of problems in my marriage and became friends with this guy I met on the internet (also married). It started out innocent enough - just encouraging eachother in our daily pursuits. After a while things got more serious and soon we were planning to be together forever (or so I thought).

I'm such a fool. I totally trusted this guy and he was lying to me all along. After we broke up I found out he was fooling around with several other women.

When we finally did meet I wasn't careful enough and contracted this. I didn't even realize it at the time. I kept getting what I thought were yeast infections, except there was no discharge. I'd get itchy around a week before my period and use Monistat then get my period within a few days and the itchiness would be gone. Around May I started suspecting it was something worse because who gets yeast infections every month? So, in total denial, I started trying every over the counter itch reliever I could think of - witch hazel, cortizone 10, vagisil, gold bond powder, you name it I tried it. Nothing seemed to be working.

But the thing is I didn't see any visible signs of it. I kept looking up my privates with a mirror and pen light and saw no obvious blisters or anything like that. Finally, a few weeks ago it really started to itch and burn bad. I decided to try using hydrogen peroxide. I've used this on oral cold sores before and when I put it on one it fizzes up and, I guess makes it rupture or something, then it goes away. I tried dabbing it on the areas that were most itchy/burny but it did nothing. The next morning in the shower I took a cup of hydrogen peroxide and kind of poured it up me (I was sitting on the floor of the tub). It burned really bad and seemed to get worse throughout the day. That night when I went to bed I felt like someone was grinding broken glass into my vagina.

I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and afterward looked with my mirror and I had this huge ulcer where I had poured the peroxide. The next day I called Planned Parenthood and asked to come in for STD testing. The appointment wasn't for two days, at which time the lesion was really starting to dry up. I got the culture test (which came back negative) but the nurse warned me that I might get a false negative. I have to wait until 16 weeks after exposure to get the antigen test, so I'm in limbo. On the good side I tested negative for gonorrhea, chlamydia & syphillis.

The nurse prescribed valtrex 500mg twice daily for 5 days which seemed to do absolutely nothing. I feel like I've just had this huge outbreak for like the last month and its never going to go away.

Has anyone else experienced this? The valtrex not working and a really prolonged outbreak? What did you do? Is there another drug that might work better?

[bluefrog]

question for our knowledgable members: is it normal for a doctor to prescribe antivirals without a positive test result, either swab or blood??? just curious.

[always searching]

Yeah. I kind of thought the same thing. But I just assumed that she must of been pretty sure about what it was without the test results. And I was in A LOT of pain - still am, so I'm assuming she felt sorry for me. When she did the exam she said, "Believe it or not this might be herpes." I told her, "Yeah. I kind of figured that and thats why I'm here."

I've refilled the valtrex rx but I'm loathe to take it since it did absolutely nothing before and I'm worried about what else it might do to my body. Its obviously hard on your liver if they recommend getting liver enzyme tests. Since I don't really have a definite diagnosis one way or the other I'm nervous about all of this. I felt dizzy the whole time I was taking it.

On the other hand I am in so much pain right now that suicide is starting to look better and better. Just walking hurts. And this has been going on now since the middlle of May.

[Caliope]

Here in the US a dr must actually see a patient in order to prescribe medications. They do not have to have test results in hand only a real patient in their office.

There are certain strains of hsv that do not respond to antiviral medications. There are also several different antivirals maybe you need to try an alternative such as Acyclovir or Famvir.

There are things that you can do to eleviate the pain and help sores to go away.

Warm soaks in the tub with either Epsom Salts or Aveeno Active Naturals bath powder. Don't forget to be careful drying off - maybe use the hair dryer on cool.

Domeboro astringent can be applied as a compress to the sores to help them dry up and heal faster.

You can wear loose clothing, take otc pain relievers, spritz the sores with Monistat Soothing Naturals anti-itch spray. You can even apply a thin layer of vaseline or A & D ointment on the sores so they are a little less sensitive. Some people have recommended applying ice to the sores briefly to numb the pain.

here is a link with info on overcoming ob's. lots of links on that page.

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/immune-system.htm

[bluefrog]

dear always searching;

suicide should not be an option or even a thought. i had my first ob on april 1, 2007, the symptoms that accompany this virus stayed with me until about 2 weeks ago, so approx. june 13th. it does get better, believe me. i am still angry and distraught, but it does get better. this site has been my saving grace. taking the recommended vitamins and herbs helps also. be strong, stay positive, you WILL feel better soon.

[katymom]

My doctor also prescribed me Valtrex at the same time that she took the swab. I should get the results Mon (so they say).

I was just diagnosed (although, like I said still waiting on test confirmation) on Wed. so I'm not pro, but look through these boards, there are a lot of possible treatments.

I was given a valtrex sample and a prescription, but have decided not to take it. Doctor didn't discuss any side effects with me (apparantly there are plenty) or alternative treatments. My OBs aren't as severe as yours (although I think I've had it for 4 years) so I'm going to watch and monitor myself for a while so I am aware of exactly what's going on, possible triggers so then I can really assess treatments. There are lots of natural treatments that have less side effects, so once I figure out what's what, I will probably start that route.

Receommendations I've heard, but not tried, are sitz bath, Aveeno oatmeal bath (my daughet has eczema and that works for her), takign Lysine is great an upping your vitamins... again, I don't knwo all the details yet, but look aroudn this site and others for the nutritional supplements that are recommended. starting on those should help at least boost your immune system to fight off this outbreak.

Sorry, huh. It sucks... you're not dirty though. No one thinks you're dirty when you have a cold sore (although it's not pretty). This is the same thing, just different body part. Also, since you metion getting cold sore, are you aware that means you already had HSV-1? You could spread it to a partners mouth who could then transfer it to your genitals... or you could spread it to a partners genitals through oral, who could then transfer it to your genitals...

[always searching]

Hi,

Yeah, I'm aware of the possibility of passing HSV I through oral sex and I was always very careful about it. Even used condoms for oral.

Unfortunatley the "love of my life" (ha!) that I left my husband for turned out to be a total *sshole. After one weekend with him I realized he was lying about a lot of stuff including a pill addiction. We had met online (not a dating site or chatroom!) and talked online and on the phone for almost two years so I thought I knew him really well. Lesson learned the hard way.

After I broke up with him he turned into a stalker - death threats and all. I had to go to the police. He kept texting me and in one of the texts he said that he had sex with a stripper without protection the weekend before he was with me and a month before he was with me he was with some skanky girl he went to high school with (he was visiting his hometown at that time). At the time I really thought he was just making this crap up, trying to scare me. I mean, he had sent me some other really bizarre texts including suicide threats and ones saying he was still married to his ex-wife and they were swingers. Nice guy, huh?

I was also scared to get tested because one of my ex husband's relatives works for the lab that my insurance uses and she snoops. I really did NOT need that stress added to everything else.

So, yeah, I knew about the risks of transmission.

[mroy324]

Always searching---

Stop beating yourself up over this. I know it's easier said than done, but your body will heal faster if you're healthy (not only physically but emotionally too). I contracted HSV-2 because of my infidelity also...now, I'm not in any way condoning my behavior, but I also realize that I'm human. We make mistakes, we learn, we heal, and we move on. I'm extremely lucky that my hubby has stuck by my side...believe me I ask myself why every day. Don't get me wrong, it's not all peaches-n-cream...we fight...but we have good days too.

If you don't feel comfortable taking the Valtrex then don't. It worked like a champ for me, but again everybody's different. There's a lot of different treatment options out there. Do a little research, talk to your Dr.

I'm proud of you for being so up front and honest, we're here to help eachother not pass judgement. Get some rest and let the healing begin (however slow it may be). It will get better....best wishes.

[always searching]

Thank You!

Thank you guys for all of the helpful advice & encouragement! I am really in a little better place mentally than I was a week ago. I actually had two crying-free days this weekend

I actually learned something today. I went to a link I saw on one of the other threads called MedHelp and found out that the "oral hepes" that I always thought I had is actually canker sores. Apparently, if you only get these ulcers inside your mouth as opposed to on your lips or around the outside of your mouth they aren't herpes. Mine were always on my gums or the area where my cheeks meet my gums inside my mouth. So that was a little bit of a relief to me, I'm not sure why. And I feel a little silly for always insisting on using a condom for oral sex out of fear of transmitting something that I didn't even have, apparently!

I am really looking forward to being able to get the blood test just because I need to know one way or the other. Life WILL go on - with or without HSV. I just need to know, so I know how to proceed. And also, if that isn't the problem I need to find out what this is thats driving me crazy with pain & burning, itching, etc. If it is HSV, then I will just have to keep trying meds until I find one that actually works for me.

[mroy324]

Just a thought

Did the Dr. you see check for a UTI or Kidney infection? I know that both of those can cause a lot of pain and discomfort....that's what all the Dr.s thought I had when I first started showing symptoms (boy were they way off).

Just throwing that out there. Best wishes.

[always searching]

Yes. I knew it wasn't a UTI or kidney infection because I've had those before and this pain was different. I had no urethral burning. When I had the ulcer down there it hurt when the pee would run across it but I got around that nasty problem by just leaning really far forward when I went, sort of directing the pee away from that area. But they tested me for that anyway just to be sure.

I have one more week before I can get the blood test. I'm actually not even that scared anymore. I just want to know one way or the other. I'm actually more scared about the HIV test I'm going to have that day because thats more like a death sentence than just an annoying virus.