Jump to content

One more cross to bear


Recommended Posts

Being single was never my goal in life---it's just something I've had to accept. The fact that the woman I eventually married gave this to me made life difficult but not impossible. I realized, too late, that she really only cared for herself and used me.

Probably the saving grace of that entire situation was that my family stood by me. My mother was particularly helpful because I could call her at any time and discuss anything. Believe me, I wouldn't have made it out of that mess without her wisdom. As a good friend put it: "A father can be a role model, but a mother is the family's moral compass". How right he was.

Unfortunately, we lost mom on the 9th. She was 90 years old and had had a long and fruitful life. She was lucky in that she pretty much got what she wanted out of life...children, grand-children, and great-grand-children. Few people are so fortunate. She made her corner of the world a happy place.

While I miss her, I am happy. I had a wonderful parent and life could have been much different without her. Remember your parents and grandparents---especially those who are inform. You'll be glad that you did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I Love the way you speak of your Mother. How fortunate you were to have had such a wise and loving Mother. You were truly blessed.

May your heart be filled with happy memories.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I Love the way you speak of your Mother. How fortunate you were to have had such a wise and loving Mother. You were truly blessed.

May your heart be filled with happy memories.

This took me 5 minutes to write for the visitation. I have left the grammatical errors alone.

Lift up your hearts. This should be more a time of happy reflection than of tears.

When a loved one is lost there is always grief. However, too few people take the time to compare what they have lost to what they have gained.

It is true that we have lost a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and a friend. That should never be taken lightly. She was the head of the family in more ways than one and her shoes are impossible to fill.

While we have lost a great deal, we have gained more. Her children learned that respect is earned and not just given. She taught us that by example. We also learned that she could always be counted on to do the right thing regardless of how difficult it might be for her personally. Our values and ways of dealing with life came directly from her. She was a product of her times and was as gentle as she was strong. She was utterly fearless and made to last.

Why haven’t I broken down since her death? It isn’t because I’m holding it in or denying the fact that she is physically gone. It is because she is still here spiritually and emotionally.

The physical body grows older and, eventually, dies. We all face that. Yet the spirit of a person, and the love they bear, stay behind as a constant presence. Do not waste time feeling pain at losing her, spend time remembering the pleasure of her company with joy.

The most famous church in London is St. Paul’s Cathedral designed and built by Sir Christopher Wren. When he died he was buried in his great church. His epitaph ends with the line: “If you seek his monument, look about you”. So it is with mother. Her monuments are the members of her family and the friends whose lives she touched.

I spoke with my cousin soon after I learned she had died. We both remembered one thing in particular. Neither of us could remember any distinctly negative memories. Families being what they are, there are always some hurt feelings. This isn’t the case with mother. She was firm but she was honest. She never hesitated for second to discipline…..but she always remembered to explain why the discipline was needed. She could become angry but was always quick to forgive. Most of all, she never forgot to tell us that she loved us.

If you remember anything about her at all remember that she loved and was loved.

Death can defeat the body but it cannot defeat love. Nothing can.

Love never fails.

At this moment I can see a farmhouse. It is simply built but is sturdy and well cared for. The family inside is waiting for dinner.

The father is playing checkers with one son, while another is told by an elderly Sioux that yes, his name means exactly what it says.

A young salesman is sitting nervously, chatting with a child he never had the chance to meet before. They soon begin to laugh together.

The girls are busy setting the table and arguing. This isn’t new but it is good natured with more than a few grins. One of the girls is being particularly ribbed for her pie crust.

Neighbors have come for dinner. The father, a stern German, grins at the husband and wife as he enters. The talk turns to bull whips and ox yokes and the men both laugh while their wives roll their eyes. Men are just that way and you can’t fight it. Their son joins the girls in helping with dinner.

Everyone seems to waiting for something or someone. The parents, when asked, simply tell their children to be patient. It will be soon.

There is a knock and the door and the mother answers. She hugs her youngest daughter who steps inside. The father comes over to see his “heifer calf”. Still, the girl seems anxious until her mother shows her something.

Opening a side door, she shows additional setting for even more company. She nods at the girl and tells her there is room for more.

She has a laugh when her sister mentions pie crust. She shares a smile with the young salesman and is particularly taken with the child.

Her parents smile. It’s good to see everyone back together. It was a long wait.

The father gets his violin and begins to play while the women bring out the food.

Alice is safe.

Alice is healthy.

Alice is happy.

Alice is home.

And, after all, home is where the heart is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


That was absolutely beautiful. What a beautiful and expressive goodbye! I am deeply sorry for your loss, but rejoice in what you gained throughout your life from her! You sound like a very sensitive man (that's a compliment, by the way, from a woman's perspective!). :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.