Jump to content

ready to give up my life....


Recommended Posts

I'm not sure if I have hsv2 yet.I get my results back on fri..but I think I've got it and the doc thinks I got it...by lookin at my rash. I never expected I would contract anything like this, I'm so depressed I just wanna go kill myself it seems like my life's pretty much over this one small virus is going to take over and change my life, I have a beautiful fiance but I can never marry her and have kids. someone please kill me. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

stop it right now. your life is not over, it may change a bit if you are positive, but you can still live, get married, have children etc. you need to read some of the posts on this site. there are many, many positive success stories.

it is dreadful, i know, to be diagnosed with this, and i never thought i would ever have to deal with either, but here i am as well as everybody else on this site.

get the negative thoughts out of your head, educate yourself on this, tell your fiance.......things will get better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

it's hard to stop thinking about it,,,,,one mistake and you are screwed.......is there any medicine someone's working on to cure it? I'm already taking lysine, neem, hyssop, olive leaf, golden seal, acyclovir,,,I'm hoping it would die at it's early stages. possible or no?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey sizzling...

Of course you can't stop thinking about it...It's new to you. The diagnosis is devastating at first. As you learn how to manage it you'll feel better.

All the things you said you are taking are good, and will help.

You have someone very special in your life and the two of you can work around hsv...and have a happy & productive life!

Don't let this virus squeeze the joy out of all the good you have in your world.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The virus is not curable at this point, may not be for a long time, but there are things to suppress it, like Valtrex or acyclovir. IT is good you are taking that, as studies have found that people who are in the midst of their first outbreak and taking a suppressive med, potentially will have fewer outbreaks in the future.

Taking vitamins like C, bcomplex and lysine can also help keep this stuf under control as well.

Trust me, while I understand your fear and frustration, especially just finding out, this crap is NOT worth taking your life over. If you are having suicidal thoughts, then you need to get into some sort of therapy fast.

I can think of a list of reasons why people should or would want to kill themselves (oh yeah, I went there people) but herpes is NOWHERE on that list.

My examples of someone who should kill themself:

1) you are a pedophile. there is no "cure" for this either and the effects are devastating to innocent souls. So all these people should kill themselves.

2) you are a mass murders. Go kill YOURSELF, stop wasting your energy on other people

3) you are a serial killer. While serial killers are morbidly facinating just in a psychological context....they are still predators of humans and should just do society a favor and kill themselves.

4) anybody who kills in the name of "GOD" (whatever and whoever their god may be.) This is an extremely doomed and dependent person and should just kill themselves, in the name of their god, rather than anybody else.

5) Rapist. These people like to inflict violence upon another human being and take what is not theirs' therefore, they should kill themselves.

Now, having given you a brief look at people who SHOULD kill themselves, makes it seem a tad silly to put yourself up next to those vile types of people I listed above and say "I want to kill myself" doesn't it.

I do this in jest, but I am very serious at the same time.

So many people come to this website and say, "I WANT TO DIE"....initially, then after they do some reseach, get over the initial shock, they feel pretty silly about wanting to off themselves due to stupid old herpes.

I ain't gonna lie to you friend, herpes is rough. It sucks. I hate it. I wish it was gone from the earth. But it isn't. So it is up to US to try and take the higher road and not let this shit define us and control our lives.

Good luck to you and I hope you are feeling better soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ouch that was an amazing post, it really put having herpes into perspective.

Having herpes is as bad as you allow it to be,if you dont keep it in perspective it can take over your life.

You are still the person you were before being diagnosed, with a lovely life in front of you.

Time is a great healer,everything is scary at first,the more you find out about having this, the less daunting it will be.

Hope you feel better soon

Take Care

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just out of curiousity. How oculd you have contracted it and have a fiance that doesnt have it. If you cheated on her, you probably don't deserve her anyway. It's called karma my boy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Please do not ever say that. Yes you are scared, yes are afraid. The unknown is just that, educate, educate, educate yourself and you will see it is not easy but it isnot as bad as it could be. You could be dying and your not. but most of use have been there or we are now. YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yOU MUST GO TO YOUR FIANCE' AS SOON AS YOU KNOW AND TELL HER. yES IT IS HARD, BUT DO-ABLE. i HAD TO TELL MY HUSBAND AND IT WS THE HARDEST THING i EVER DID IN MY LIFE BUT IT IS THE RIGhT THING TO DO. You woudl be surprised at some reactions, some oare full of love and caring and not hate. Sounds like you are doing alof the right things..

You are special and you are someone good luck

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Please, please dont ever say that you want to kill yourself, having herpes doesnt mean that your life is over. It may seem as though right now, but trust me and the others that it isnt! Just take one day at a time, talk to someone, talk to the people on here, thats why they have this forum right? To talk with other people who are living with HSV1(or)2(or) both. If you EVER need someone to talk to, there are people here, and you can contact me as well!! Just know, that we are all here for the same reasons, to let it all out, rant, talk with others who know what we're going through, get feedback on HSV. :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with you it's karma, I went to mexico with my looser friends and forcefully got hooked up with this girl and now I'm screwed for life,, honestly I'm so depressed I don't even know what to do. if some cure is available in some other country I'll even go there and try it out, anybody ever heard of anything? by the way I went to see a doctor and he did a blood test which came out negative, but he said the rash looks like herepes and I think it is herepes it's the same symptom everybody else is having.. he send my samples for early detection and I get my results back in a couple of days.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

if you JUST contracted herpes, then the blood test will show up negative. Your doc has to do a swab of the rash area to get an accurate test. It can take up to 3months for the herpes antibodies to show up in your blood, so in three months, you should have yet another bloodtest, should the swab come back negative for some reason.

AND YOU SHOULD ALSO ABSTAIN FROM SEX WITH YOUR FIANCE. Don't pass this shit onto her. You would be wise in eating some humble pie and telling her. Be man and face up to your fault. Suicide is not the answer. Honesty and integrity IS.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sorry to hear whats happened, but i do wonder if u didnt get a rash, would this girl still of been a mistake..

no one made you sleep with her, i guess it was a good idea at the time..

your life isnt over, far from it, yes you will have to tell your fiance and eat some seroious humble pie, but your life is far from over, youve still got alot to give this world, and thoughts of suicide are just plain stupid..

you should be thanking your lucky stars you havent got HIV or full blown AIDS.

as OUCH says, no sex until you know what is it, told your fiance, its cleared up and she wants to be with you still.

good luck, hope it all works out for you, please dont take my post as being negative or ment as hurtful, i was just being honest, and you need poeple to be honest with you now and you need to be honest with your fiance..

please please please dont take her health in to your own hands and risk it.

good luck - it may well just be thursh....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Keep us in the loop

Like so many others, we're all pulling for you. Regardless of how you may have contratracted this crappy booger, if you have someone who loves and supports you then you've already beaten it. We all have a support network, whether its a spouse, parent, close friend, lover, or someone on this very message board.

Be straight up honest with the Mrs. I had no choice but to with my hubby, and he said that it would be foolish to leave over the fact that I'm a human being who made an awful mistake and, who got this crappy booger. I didn't ask for it, nor did he, but we'll work through it. We have good days, and bad ones too...

Keep us in the loop as far as your results are concerned, and good or bad, we'll be there too.;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

oh come on man, be tough. I'd say you're fortunate, I'd trade any one of you your genital herpes for my cold sores on my lips. For 2 reasons.

1. More people see your face than your genitals.

2. You kiss more people than you have sex with.

In, fact I can't think of any reason it would be better to have herpes on your lips, other than the stigma which isn't a concrete thing anyway. Plus I born with this you're getting it later in life you should be happy about that, plus when you have an outbreak no ones gonna even know. Unless you run around naked or something. I on the other hand look like a freak sometimes and EVERYONE can see it. but what can i do i guess I hate it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with you it's karma, I went to mexico with my looser friends and forcefully got hooked up with this girl and now I'm screwed for life,, honestly I'm so depressed I don't even know what to do. if some cure is available in some other country I'll even go there and try it out, anybody ever heard of anything? by the way I went to see a doctor and he did a blood test which came out negative, but he said the rash looks like herepes and I think it is herepes it's the same symptom everybody else is having.. he send my samples for early detection and I get my results back in a couple of days.

Forcefully hooked up with this girl? Rrrriiiighhhhtttt!!!!

Stop playing victim here. Honestly, what you need to do is get off your guilt trip and stop thinking suicidal thoughts and confess to your fiance/or wife. Let her know what's up. If you cared as much as you say you did, why'd you do it?

A question that is really not worth answering,there would be too much rambling and ranting going on. Why consider it?

Quite sure that your bestfriends didn't put a gun to your head. More like the male EGO played a humongous role.

Suggestion how about getting confirmed results before jumping off a bridge.

Anyway, tell the woman and continue to write your suicidal thoughts on this post. Believe me, you're not the only one who felt this way.

Just don't play your thoughts out into reality. Hurting people that truly love and care for you.

Don't expect for no one to pacify you but we on this site will help you get through this, but keep in mind if you do have H, you brought it on yourself. Better be glad its not HIV/AIDS. Start building some self respect for yourself, Love yourself and fiance/wife, and kids more than H, itself.

Herpes really isn't that bad, its what you make of it. Change your eating habits to healthier, seek some therapy for those evil thoughts of yours or pray, and get meds.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Like others have mentioned, wait for your results first.

SOudns to me like a large part of your despair and desire to "end it all" is due less to the actual herpes, but the way you contracted it and what you're faced with doing next.

It sounds like you have not told your fiance? PLEASE, do not have sex with her until you have told her, she understands it and she is prepared to make that decision for herself. You are devastated by what herpes means to you, but for her it would be compounded by the pain and betrayal that brought it to her. If you had sex with her after contacting it and before finding out she may already have contracted it. You should fess up quickly and takethe consequences. If it falls apart, then it was not meant to be. Life happens the way it's suppose to. Maybe herpes is the terrible thing that brings you so many better things in your life. This may be a ife changing event that either solidifies yoru relationship, or ends a realtionship that wouldn't have been healthy anyway (you did cheat and then keep the secret from her). You will no doubt learn a lot about yourself and relationships which will benefit you later.

I've also just found out and awaiting final confirmation from the test. Sorry. It sucks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.