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An article about Dating and Relating with Herpes


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The folks at PositiveSingles.com have asked us to feature this article in our Forum. They have always been very helpful in supporting our forum so if you have a free moment please have a read.

Nowadays, 70 million are afflicted with STDs in the U.S. alone and an estimated 200-400 million worldwide.

When you have Herpes, HIV/AIDS, HPV, or any other STD, it can feel like you are all alone in the world. http://www.PositiveSingles.com is dedicated to providing the premier community for anonymous STD dating, friendship and support. Here you don't have to worry about being rejected just because of something beyond your control. You can share your struggle with new friends, partners or potential spouses who are encountering the same fears. Here you will never feel lonely again!

The http://www.PositiveSingles.com dating site is approximately 4 years old. The founding team's vision is to build a community for people with STDs, where they can find friendship, support, and love! When you are newly diagnosed, your whole world seems to have been turned upside down and inside out. There are so many questions that run through your mind: Did my partner know they were infected?

Maybe yes, maybe no. Many HSV (Oral and Genital Herpes), HPV (Human Papilloma Virus), and HIV infected people have no visible symptoms. Individuals may not be aware of their infection or the risk of transmission to others and of developing complications.

Unfortunately, there are those who are fully aware of their condition and choose not to disclose. This is morally wrong, and in some cases, criminal. However, it happens more than we would like to think, and makes it even harder to accept that a chronic disease has been acquired through deception. How do you tell your family? Your friends? Do you tell them at all? Will they look at you differently? Will they shun you completely?

Many people are afraid to reach out to the people whom they are closest to. You feel shame, embarrassment, fear, anger. The stigma attached to people with infectious diseases suddenly becomes personal, the jokes aren't so funny anymore. You are afraid of losing friendships and family altogether. This fear can quickly become a reality due to a lack of education. So you retreat inside yourself, and try to overcome the overwhelming feelings that have suddenly taken over your life, alone.

Who will want me now? Will I ever find love? How do I tell a potential partner?

These are very tough questions to answer. It is hard to find love in a world where no STDs exist between partners, some people never find it, and it certainly doesn't get any easier when you are diagnosed with an infectious disease.

Whether you choose to continue to date uninfected people is a matter of personal choice. If you do choose to do so, you are morally, and sometimes legally, bound to disclose your status. Do not ever take away the right of someone else to make a choice that might have life-long implications for them. Many infected people never had that choice, which makes the end result even more devastating. Having the Talk is never easy, and full of unknowns and even more questions.

Will they accept me? Will they keep my secret forever? Will they tell their friends and swear them to a secret that everyone might eventually be in on? What if we break up? Will they still keep my secret? What if they reject me? Will my secret become public knowledge?

Should I limit myself to only positive partners? Being involved in http://www.PositiveSingles.com makes some aspects of dating easier for people with STD's. Your condition is known up-front, your partner can offer you support based upon personal experience. You don't have the worry of infecting someone that you love.

http://www.PositiveSingles.com is a place where you can find friendship, support, and even love. You won't have to worry about being rejected on the basis of your condition. No matter what kind of infectious disease you have, everyone has asked themselves the same questions you have asked yourself, had the same fears of disclosure, of being alone.

On our site you can post a free profile, and send out free winks. You can become involved in the blog and forum sections, comment on a variety of subjects posted by members, and post your own topics. You can check the Daily Positive News for a variety of STD related subjects, send suggestions to our staff for improving the site.

If you upgrade to Gold Member Status, there are many additional options available to you, such as sending out an unlimited number of e mails and winks, see who has viewed your profile, do a variety of searches including new members, and initiate a private chat with other members.

We have many wonderful members willing to share their stories, give advice on how to make it through the hard times, and make you laugh. Some of us have overcome the issues, dealt with the hardships, emerged back into the light., and helping others to follow in our footsteps. Some of us continue to struggle down that road of unknowns. Some of us have just begun the journey. We are a community willing to reach out to others and make this journey together. Won't you join us?

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hello there @momma267 and welcome. There is no reason to believe that what you have there is other than a pressure sore, something that has emerged from rubbing with clothing or butt cheeks and exacerbated by bacteria or yeast.  Note that the first you’d learn of herpes is unlikely to be on your butt, instead where it enters your body, this is usually within the vaginal lips for females.
    • momma267
      So to begin with, I am 26 and have been with the same partner for 8 years. I have only been with three people ever, one completely protected and the other we were both our firsts. I got this rash on my but while pregnant and my doctor said she was testing for it and I'm so confused. I've had two babies, breastfeed, and never had anything as much as a cold sore. Does this look like something anyone has experienced? I used fragrant soap down there and am hoping it's contact dermatitis or a heat rash from sweating and gaining so much weight.  Advice would be helpful. I'm stressing out a bit as I am pregnant. Blister https://picallow.com/blister/  
    • harrygauff
      @WilsoInAus could you kindly have a look :) also how long does it typically take for herpes blisters to develop into sores
    • harrygauff
      Hi, it is me again, apologies for the recent influx of posts. I've noticed a slightly raised area on the middle of my top lip with what i feel are some bumps. i do have a habit of biting my lips a fair bit and this area is frequented by my teeth. I haven't noticed any unusual/abnormal tingling or burning or pain sensations. the photos are a bit difficult to focus on them but do these seem like the start of cold sores? note: I will be visiting the drs for an std checkup in the coming week. https://imgur.com/gallery/YLVA5us
    • WilsoInAus
      To give everyone confidence that it wasn’t herpes related and conclude as the doctor did that it was a dermatitis issue to refer back to the dermatologist to continue with investigations.
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