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Oh S*&% - I have herpes


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Hello everyone - I've been reading the posts on this forum for a couple of days and have finally mustered up the courage to register and talk about my "herpes story" . I need a little advice about this so any replies would be most appreciated!

So... this is what happened - I just recently moved to LA and met a guy that seemed to be going through the same thing I was - both of us were in love with some one else and trying to move on from it. (Whole other story) Anyway, we decided that sex might help us get over the other person and that we would be eachother's "bootycall".

We only had sex once (by the way... sleeping with another person to help you get over someone else doesn't help!) and before we did he asked me if I had been tested. I told him that I was tested for everything in Feb and he said that he had been tested too (actually he said he had the paper in his car and that he could show me if I wanted - a little wierd...) and we both were negative.

We ended up having sex with a condom on the whole time - but we both weren't really into it so we stopped and he took it off. Then he starting asking me if I ever tried anal sex (oh god this is embarassing!) and I said I would... I asked him if he had another condom and he looked at me with this face and said "well, you're clean - right" and I said yes and so we had unprotected anal sex.

A couple days later I started noticing this acid feeling inside my bum - I thought maybe I drank too much coffee... but then this tingling sensation in my lower back, some pain,

and slightly swollen lymph nodes in my groin area made me a little worried. That night I called the guy, told him how I was feeling and asked again if he had been tested for everything. Even though I never had any visable lesions, I was scared it might be herpes because of I've had coldsores and know that tingling sensation very well. He swore up and down that he was clean...

The next day the feeling was all but gone, but I went to the doctor anyway (I work at a GYN office - lucky me) and told him what happened. He examined me - said he couldn't see anything but that I should get an "IGM" bloodtest to see if I had been newly infected. (He also did an IGG test to see if I've been exposed to it before)

Well my IGG came back negative, but my IGM was positive and so I have herpes. I don't really want to talk about how this is affecting me - so many dark emotions... What I'm worried about now is that I may have it on the outside of my vagina as well... I occasionally feel this burning, tingling sensation there as well and I noticed that the skin around the area looked a little raw, but when I went to my doctor again about it he said it was definately not herpes and is running some more tests to see what it is.

Does anyone else get these symptoms... no lesions, but a raw, mild burning, tingling, edemic sensation with no discharge or swelling that comes and goes every couple of days. It's so frustrating to not know! I read that you can get it even if you wear a condom, but my doctor says it's unlikely, so I don't know what to believe...

This is soooo unbelievably embarassing to talk about, but if anyone can give some advice I'd really love to hear it.

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suprise, cold sores are herpes.

so even if you test for herpes you will always be positive.

and if the guy had the same type as you, well now your just screwed cause it will only register the type and not the location.

igm test, will not test if its a new infection or not- there is NO test that can determine this. they just determing the amount of antibodies in your body. which the prime testing time is 12-16 weeks after what you think is a outbreak, so since you tested so early, you very well might have a false neg.

if the guy has the papers, theres no harm in seeing them now, and fyi- herpes is not tested for in the standard std screening, so its very possible he has it and doesnt know as you would need to specificaly ask for it.

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Thanks for your reply, however I am well aware that coldsores are herpes... I was tested for both type 1 and type 2 - my IGG was positive for type 1 (which I knew would be from my history of coldsores), but negative for type 2 and my IGM was positive for both showing that I now have an active infection for both types at this time.

I am not speaking to the ass who gave this to me - I did ask him about the paper and he said it was a test that he had gotten for HIV only (negative) - he had never been tested for everything like he had said.

Also, I know people have said that HSV is not something routinely tested for in a complete STD Screen Panel, but I was tested in Feb. for everything - including HSV 2 - so that doesn't make much sense to me and it really pisses me off that guys that go fucking around and never see anything on their dicks assume their fine!!

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And actually I was just reading your remark about the IGM test not showing if it is a new infection or not... One of us is very misinformed. I happen to work at an OB-GYN office and there is a new test out there that can tell if it is a new infection or not! The IGG test is the test for antibodies indicating if you have antibodies in your blood showing that you have been exposed to the virus for 6 weeks or more - mine was negative. The IGM test shows if this is a new infection. I have no antibodies in my blood yet, my IGM test is positive, I've haven't slept with anyone else, therefore I know that he gave it to me.

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well then do provide the info about this test, as many people would love to know. cause at this moment you are the only one aware of such a test.

igm testing is worthless.

""" IgM antibodies appear within a few days to a week from exposure, reach a peak level within 2-4 weeks and slowly become undetectable within 2-4 months from the date of exposure. A reappearance of elevated IgM antibodies blood levels may occur every time the virus is reactivated form its latent state (flare ups) even when symptoms are not present.

The IgM Antibodies Screen is a non-type specific(ding ding ding whats the point of that?) Herpes test and therefore does not distinguish between the two Herpes types and may show cross-reactivity with other types of Herpes viruses like Mono and CMV, two common Herpes viruses.

The IgM has traditionally be used to try to separate out old infection from new infection, because IgM goes away over time and shows up early with many viruses. However, with herpes simplex, it is present with about 35% of recurrences, so it doesn't help sort out new infection from old infection either."""

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Waxed Wrong - I really do appreciate you replying back to me... I'm really just trying to get to the bottom of this. It looks like you are quoting info from somewhere - can you tell me where?

I'm looking at my lab results right now, and it looks like it is type specific - it says HSV 2 on it only for my positive IGM result.

My doctor is also my friend, and he knows how this is affecting me, so I don't think he would have me be tested like that if it couldn't confirm what type it was - and if it isn't herpes than what is it?

Here's the quote on my lab report regarding the tests:

" As of 12/5/00, HSV 1 and HSV2 IgG testing is being perforemed using Focus Technologies HerpeSelect Type Specific HSV 1 IgG and HSV2 IgG EIA test kits. The type specific tests distinguish between HSV 1 nd HSV 2 by detecting antibodies to glycoprotien G, which exists in distinct variants for the different tpes (GI and G@ for HSV1 and HSV 2, respectively).

The presence of HSV IgM antibody in the absence of HSV IgG antibody may indicate current infection.

The presence of HSV IgG antibody in the absense of HSV IgM antibody may indicate past infection at some undetermined time. Interpretation of serologic data for HSV IgM antibody testing must be done with the understanding of the cross-reactivity which occurs due to shared antigens between HSV 1 and HSV 2"

I'm so confused and frustrated! I also read that if you have coldsores (HSV 1) than you may respond to HSV 2 with more atypical, mild reactions due to your already partial immunity from having type 1. So, to be safe and responsible, I'm going to assume it's that and get an IgG Type specific test again in a couple months to see if I have antibodies for it. Does that sound right? Is there any other way to know for sure?

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Does anyone else get these symptoms... no lesions, but a raw, mild burning, tingling, edemic sensation with no discharge or swelling that comes and goes every couple of days.

That almost exactly describes my symptoms... tingling and burning and red skin, but I also get some swelling. I'm in the same boat as you regarding the testing, I'm waiting for my IgG test results. My doctor said the IgM test was worthless so I'm not having one done.

The guy who I've gotten this from (I'm assuming my results will be positive) lied to me as well. Worse yet, we had been friends for over a year before we slept together.

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from what I understand about blood testing for hsv - if your IgG is negative and your IgM is positive it indicates a recent first time exposure. The reason that the IgM is positive is because it shows the antibodies are not well developed but reacting to hsv.

If you've had an infection for a while (months) the IgM result is worthless and you then consider the IgG result.

In the first few weeks after exposure the antibodies being produced are immature and still being developed by the immune system.

Make sense?

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Gray - thanks so much for your reply! I wanted to ask how long these symptoms are lasting for you. Mine is so wierd... it'll be there one day and gone the next and then come back a couple days later. I hate it!!

Also, my doctor said it can't be herpes in that area because it doesn't look like it, because the guy wore a condom the whole time while we were having vaginal intercourse, and also because these symptoms came about a couple of weeks after I was having the issue in the other (more embarassing) area. I read that condoms usually protect uninfected women, but not uninfected men - is that true?? Did you and your friend have protected sex??

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Redwood- Please post here if you find out that the vaginal symptoms you are having are caused by something other than herpes. I am having very similar symptoms and I have to wait a few more weeks until it is 16 weeks since I had sex. I was told that the test would not be accurate if I don't wait that long and since I'm paying out of pocket I can't really afford to keep getting retested for this.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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