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Well hello to everyone here! My story is an extremely interesting one, I have to say, at least I think so. About 3 months ago I met a man on the internet. We talked just as friends for about 2 months, he wanted to date me but I am 36 and he is only 25, so I had some reservations because of that. But the more I talked to him and got to know him, the more I realized that our ages was a stupid reason not to give this guy a chance. So, about 2 weeks ago we started talking on the phone, at least five times a day every day. I have never in my life experienced sexual chemistry with someone over the telephone or fallen in love with someone just by talking, without having met face to face. But with this guy I have experienced both. A few days ago, we began telling each other that we loved each other and made plans for him to come here (we live in different states) to live with me. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I care for this guy. I have had many bad relationships in my dating history (abuse, rape, etc.) and this guy is so totally different from any guy I've ever been with. I used to base my dating choices on looks alone, if I thought the guy was good looking enough, I'd date him, if not I wouldnt. Recently my daughter told me that that was shallow and the more I thought about it the more I realized she was right and that really upset me, because I always used to think I wasn't a judgmental person. So, when I met this guy online, even though he wasn't "my type" and I decided to talk to him anyway. Now, I've come to realize what I've been missing all my life in a relationship.

Last night when he called, he said he had something very important to tell me. He said he has herpes. I was floored and will admit that my first thought was, "Why God?" "Why did you send a perfect guy my way, only to throw this at me?" He said he was terrified that I would now reject him and it was the hardest thing he's ever had to do in his life by telling me, but he couldn't be cruel enough to not tell me. Because our plans include him moving in with me in two weeks from now, he wanted to give me the chance to decide if I still wanted to go through with it or not. For that, I think I love him even more than I did before. We had a longggggggg talk about the whole thing, how to deal with sex, etc. and I will admit that I no longer wanted to have sex with him. I didn't want to risk getting it. He said he understood, but couldn't have a relationship with me and not be able to make love to me, that's why he wanted me to decide if I still wanted him to come here. I made the decision that I love this guy enough to weather whatever storm comes our way, even herpes. But, I'm still scared and confused and needing any advice that I can get. So anything at all that someone can tell me would be greatly appreciated. I dont really have any questions as I thoroughly researched the disease as soon as I found out. But support is what I'm looking for. I can well imagine that we will have our share of difficulties in dealing with this disease.

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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