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marianne


marianne

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Hi everyone,

If sadness and despair can coexist with a highfunctioning lifestyle, then I am a good example. I am a mom and a hardworking professional. I got the virus from the man I loved very much, my first love who goes back to my high school years, when I met him again later in life. He did not disclose he had cold sores and I was not knowledgeable enough to recognize them as herpes.

With my first outbreak which was genital, I immediately went to a doctor, I was out of the country at the time. He misdiognosed it as folliculitis. I was relieved and did not want to think otherwise, even when throughout my 4 year relationship, I had about 4 recurrences. One day he casually said, this was what he thought was herpes, "because his ex wife had it, years ago, but, that it's such a common thing, a nothing... Alarmed,I got all the info on the web, but he would not hear of it, and throw tantrums. So I backed off..and decided in the next outbreak I would go to a doctor again and get tested. This occurred very recently, after a very painful break up with him,.

Now, I can not tell him, because I am afraid of his reactions. I completely devoted myself to my child and work, and don't think will ever date again.

I very much appreciate talking to sane, decent people on this site and sharing the pain.

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i am sorry to hear about your situation. i am sure you will date again. i feel the same way lately, but i know, in time, i will want to date. i am just recently diagnosed, may 2007, and still have daily issues (mentally) in dealing with this virus. physically, i finally FINALLY feel fine, now that we are in the middle of july!!!!

hang in there; things will look up.......

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sounds like a rough situation all around. **big hugs**

It will get better. Believe that. Life is not over. Just slightly changed. It's ok.

Ya know... my doctor says that she considers herpes to be an annoying skin iritation. I like to think of it like that.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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