Jump to content

a rock and hard a place


Recommended Posts

My head is spinning. I have lived with HSV-1 for 28 years. Didn't have it diagnosed until about 15 years ago. At first I didn't really understand about it being contagious, etc. When I got married something clicked and I insisted we use safe sex techniques during outbreaks. That's all. Now I am divorced. In the span of one year I have been close to a relationship and had the talk 3 times. The first guy freaked totally at first but after some time to research and reflect he decided he was ok with it.(relationship never materialized, though not due to HSV-1). Second guy freaked out and said "no thank you". (FYI- he was a doctor and knew nothing about the virus. Despite all the articles I gave him he still decided he'd rather take his chances with someone else than with me.) Now third guy -- and here is where I lost it -- got terribly upset with me ...drumrole....for making it sound like it was a big deal. I mean he was REALLY ANGRY. Everyone gets cold sores he says, and you can go to the drugstore and buy those creams. If that's all there is to it why was I being so dramatic? The fact that I take Valtrex daily is what put me in the hypochodriac category in his opinion. Mind you he had not had a partner sya they had Herpes before so it wasn't like he was an old hand at this. I was absolutely floored by his reaction. Yes- I told him it's incurable, most people didn't realize it's Herpes... etc. Weird. Between the 2 extremes, I gotta tell ya- I don't have a clue how to handle "the talk" again if this relationship doesn't last.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe you are building it up too much. All credit to you for telling them, but you're telling them you have something that most people have - I've heard statistics ranging from 50 to 90%. That said, I agree - VERY strange responses :confused:

The point is, if they'd all got tested for it - chances are 2 of them would have found out they've already got it!!!:rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

maybe this last guy actually has gotten cold sores in the past himself and doesnt want to admit to himself they are actually herpes, so when you made such a big deal, he freaked because its not something he wants to hear you make a big deal about.....just a possibility, not necessarily the case maybe though

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i was thinking the same thing regarding the third guy freaking out. maybe he has hsv 1 and or 2 and doesnt know how to handle hearing about it or discussing it. i would def have him get checked if this is something you think might work out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you

Hi all....new to using forums so thank you for your kindness. Couple of comments---

- I did not use the phrase "most people have them". The date did. I tried to explain it was more like 50% - 80% depending on who you read but he kept saying "most"

- Yes, the thought has crossed my mind that I may be workdong things wrong. 'Course I went on to tell him I was doing the best I could and considered it a learning experience. Didn't calm him down though. I actually started out the whole thing using "cold sore" instead of Herpes on the advice of a nurse friend, but when he kept going on and on about why was I even telling him I felt I had to say because lots of people didn't know it's real name is herpes and that makes lots of people feel "differently" on the subject.

- And yes... it crossed my mind that he had them and didn't "know" the whole story.

Just knowing you folks are out there caring helps alot :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      Hello there @momma267 and welcome. There is no reason to believe that what you have there is other than a pressure sore, something that has emerged from rubbing with clothing or butt cheeks and exacerbated by bacteria or yeast.  Note that the first you’d learn of herpes is unlikely to be on your butt, instead where it enters your body, this is usually within the vaginal lips for females.
    • momma267
      So to begin with, I am 26 and have been with the same partner for 8 years. I have only been with three people ever, one completely protected and the other we were both our firsts. I got this rash on my but while pregnant and my doctor said she was testing for it and I'm so confused. I've had two babies, breastfeed, and never had anything as much as a cold sore. Does this look like something anyone has experienced? I used fragrant soap down there and am hoping it's contact dermatitis or a heat rash from sweating and gaining so much weight.  Advice would be helpful. I'm stressing out a bit as I am pregnant. Blister https://picallow.com/blister/  
    • harrygauff
      @WilsoInAus could you kindly have a look :) also how long does it typically take for herpes blisters to develop into sores
    • harrygauff
      Hi, it is me again, apologies for the recent influx of posts. I've noticed a slightly raised area on the middle of my top lip with what i feel are some bumps. i do have a habit of biting my lips a fair bit and this area is frequented by my teeth. I haven't noticed any unusual/abnormal tingling or burning or pain sensations. the photos are a bit difficult to focus on them but do these seem like the start of cold sores? note: I will be visiting the drs for an std checkup in the coming week. https://imgur.com/gallery/YLVA5us
    • WilsoInAus
      To give everyone confidence that it wasn’t herpes related and conclude as the doctor did that it was a dermatitis issue to refer back to the dermatologist to continue with investigations.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.