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Scared and confusedxx


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I was hoping i could get some advice coz i feel so dirty and ashamed rite now.

At the beginnin of the week i was in agony, i was ill and was given pills for a urine infections. i then went back as this did not work and blisters had appeared and am now told ive got herpes.

When i first found out i was a wreck but my sister came over and helped me look at some websites to realise it wasnt so bad. Im just so sacred coz the outbreak was so unbearable this time that i cant stand the thought of that again!!!

Anyway i phoned the man im with and he was totally understanding and told me to not get to down about it, I was honest that there was a big chance he gave it to me but he seemed sure he didnt.He went to the doctor later and then i get a message saying hes really upset and wants to think and he wont talk to me, he said its coz ive given him sonemthing.Now i feel a hundred times worse coz i need his support but he seems to be blaming it on me.Ive had tests for everything else and i dont have anytrhing else

I have a few questions.

- The doctor said that it was my first breakout and it normally comes up within a few days. that would make sence with my current bloke as it was like 3 days but is there any chance i could have got it off my last bloke that i last slept with 2 or 3 months ago.

-my current bloke says that he was in a 6 year relationship before me. that dosnt mean he didnt have it and just didnt know rite?

-Do people really not have symtoms sometimes.. how do they know if there having an outbreak?

-As long as i have sex when im not having an outbreak is it ok to have unprotected sex in the future with someone i trust?

Sorry this is so long. im just so upset rite now. i suffer from clinical depression and this has obviously not helped things, some support would be so much appreciated


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I am going though a similar situation, my boyfriend send e an email saying he test negative after saying he had an attack but his result were negative and dump me. I have been faithful to him from day one, i just can believe people are so inhuman. I have been tested positive and the doctor told me i got it within the last six months

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It' gets better

Annie, I don't know any person afflicted with this virus that didn't react the way you did when you found out. I couldn't take enough or long enough showers. I've never felt so dirty in my life. That was 1983. My life is a whole lot better since then. All of your questions are very good ones and can all be answered at this site. The first out break is usually the worst however you can still pass it own to someone when you are not showing signs or symptoms. There is a website called neveranoutbreak.com. This guy believes he has a cure and I believe he may be on to something. Drug companies and the FDA don't won't a cure cause they can't make any money off of it. Check it out, do your homework and decide for yourself. I'm absolutely convinced this works and I've read hundreds of testimomials that agree. Things will get better and your life and your sex life isn't or doesn't have to be over. Good luck and God bless. GTBMC:p:)

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warning! extremely long, but informative

hi there, to answer your questions

Yes, you can spread it with or WITHOUT symptoms present, which is why having it is so hard. If using condoms protected you and just not having contact when having outbreaks it wouldnt be so bad, but sadly that is not the case. Also, condoms do not offer 100% protection when it comes to this because often the area shedding the virus(with or without symptoms) is not located in an area where a condom covers or protects. So you always have to inform people, as you are contagious always hypothetically speakingl........basically you never know when you are contagious, except of course when you have symptoms which is a definite time not to have any contact with anyone.

Other than that informing people upfront of the risk is the only thing you can do.

People can get it from performing oral sex on you or having sex with you, even without symptoms present for a long time. People differ in how often a person might shed the virus, but no one can say for sure, as everyone is different, that is why it is always a risk...like Russian roulette.

People can have this virus for weeks, months, years etc. and never have a clue, because over 1/2 the people who have it dont know or dont ever get symptoms to alert them there could be something wrong, which is why it spreads so much.

Not everyone will get symptoms in the estimated range of time between infection and first outbreak........most dont fall neatly into the category.......some outbreaks dont occur till years down the line........your ex could have just as easily given it to you and him being in a relationship for 6 years means shit........people have relationships, or are married for years and years and never have signs or symptoms and with all the misinformation and miseducation out there they have no clue in all actuality that they have it and are contagious and he very well could have passed it on to you.......and it is also possible to be in a relationship for years and one have it and not know, but yet not pass it on to the other.....its a game of chance and you never know when you are contagious and people can happen to get lucky and just not end up having sex the times they were contagious....happens all the time.....which also stinks cuz it leads people like your ex to think "there's no way he could have had it because he was in a relationship for 6 years without any symptoms of either of them" simply doesnt mean shit! :)

anyway, dont let him get to you, he is acting rude and defensive and is not worth your time. There is also a possibility you picked it up from the guy a few months ago and are just now showing symptoms........but you could have had it for years and never knew, as it was lying dormant and then recently you finally had an outbreak so now your body responded by making antibodies that could finally be detected which appear as new because it is the first time your body has had the virus wake up so to speak.

Try and read all you can about this, forget about the jerk....you will never know who gave it to who, you both have it now and thats the bottom line, dont look back or dwell on him.......hes not worth your time. Focus on coming to terms with this, reading all you can, posting and recieveing feedback, taking time for yourself to destress and try and relax when possibly. The emotional shock of getting this can make the virus run rampant, as it thrives when the immune sytem is weakened and the physchological stress of getting this can be enormous and destroy your immune system. Hope this helps, sorry it was so long but people need the facts.

Oh and one more thing: DMSO therapy is dangerous and not safe.....i tried it and my skin got a horrible chemical burn from it after using it for a month.......the theory behind oxygen therapy is a good one but using dmso to try and deliver the oxygen is not safe....I am living proof of it. I was so apt to buy into it as well but it is dangerous and I dont agree with the FDA or drug companies at all but this is not safe. I highly recommend finding a natural doctor.....naturopathic doctor asap.......dont take what conventional doctors say as the stone truth in all cases either, as they are often miseducated, or outdated on their information regarding herpes.......find someone who knows what they are talking about and I advise a naturopath......only person who helped me at all........i have had a chronic, never going away "rash" from herpes since 2 weeks after contracting it......so I have had it literally on my skin for 2 full years now and traditional doctors could only tell me to try antivirals again, which I cannot tolerate and so I have had to suffer for 2 years with it, and with my doctors telling me "they're baffled, or that it cant possibly be on my skin daily for this long....guess what it has and it is!! my alternative doctor is the only one who is helping me regain my immune strength and treat me mentally and physically and for the first time in 2 years I have some hope thanks to her. I hope it is very mild for you and that you seek support right away, as that can make all the difference. Good luck.

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      To give everyone confidence that it wasn’t herpes related and conclude as the doctor did that it was a dermatitis issue to refer back to the dermatologist to continue with investigations.
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