I Need To Talk To Some Sorry The Thread Is Long

[TIMEOUT4BS]

here I Go. I Was Rencently Diagnosis With Genital Herpes. Pf Cpurse My Reaction Was Total Shock. Then I Calmed Down Alittle And Did Some Research And Talked To My Doctor. I Began Taking Medications. And Here Comes The Part That Is Pissing Me Off. I Called My Boyfriend ( He Lives In Another State) I Told Him That I Needed To See Him As Soon As Posible. He Became Very Alarmed Due To My Tone Of My Voice. And He Demanded That I Tell Me On The Phone. So I Proceeded To Inform Him That I Was Recently Diagnosis With Gential Herpes And That He Needed To Get Tested Asap. His Responsed Was What I Knew It Would Be. " I Don't Know What You Are Talking About But There Is Nothing Wrong With Me!" Well I Told Him That There Is Posibilty That He Has Gential Herpes And Not Aware Of That He Was Exposed To It. Then He Began To Accuse Me Of Being Unfaithful To While We Are Apart. I Did Not Say A Thing Cuz We Go Through This Alot Of Hime Thinking That I Seeing Someone Since We Live In Different States. I Told Him I Work At Least 60 Hours A Week When Do I Have Time To Cheat And I Also A Single Parent To A Beatiful 7 Year Old Daughter. I Suggested That He Goes To His Dr. And Ask For The Test. This Conversation Happen Over 2 Weeks Ago And He Has Not Seen His Dr. Yet Stating That I Must Have Gotten Gential Herpes From Someone I Was Seen In Where I Live. I Am Gettin Tired Of This Accusations From This Man. I Keep Telling Him There Have Been No One Else Since We Started Dating. I Told From The Begining When We Started Dating That I Have Been To My Dr. And Was Tested For All Std And That I Was Negative. We Have Been Together Since January 05 And I Have Not Been Intimate With Anyone Except Him. I Am Not Accusing Him Of Anything All Want From Is To Get Tested And If He Has It Get Treatment. That Is All. I Also Told Him If We Break Up Do He Think Its Fair For The Other Woman To Enter Into A Intimate Relationship With You And You Never Went To Get Tested And You Are Positive And She Is Exposed Due To Your Denial. I Know He Is Scared. I Am Scared Myself. All Kinds Of Thoughts Are Running Through My Head As I Am Typing This Thread. But Can Not Allow That To Prohibit Me To Continue To Live An Healthy Productive Life. I Have A Daughter Is Depends On Me And I Have To Be There For Her And Me.it Just This Man Making Feel Dirty. Like I Am The Blame For Everything. He Says I Dont Want To Talk About It Just Drop It Or Terminte The Telephone Conversation As Soon As I Question Has He Seen The Dr. Yet?its Just I Am Very Confused , Angry, And Frustrated Because Of This. Thank Yor Taking The Time To Read This Thread And For Your Support.

[always searching]

I'm sorry your man is being such an ass. I think its human nature to deny you have anything until the test results hit you in the face. I hope he comes around soon and goes and gets tested. I really believe that people like him are the reason so many people get stuck with this horrible virus. They have the superman (or woman) complex and live in total denial as they are infecting people. Its a shame. He really does need to get tested even if he thinks that you caught it from someone else theres a strong possiblity that he has it.

[Christy C]

Hi there Time Out

You're a brave gal, for seeking treatment and your efforts to get your boyfriend to see a doc are commendable. But you know what, you can bring a horse to the water but honey there is no way you can force him to drink. And speaking of horses I think you're backing the wrong one. Well you know that already. You're not dirty , you're admirable. You're working through your fear and that deserves a big standing ovation.

How old is your daughter. I've got two boys myself and boy that's a ife in itself isn't it. And you're working like ... sixty hours a day!! How do you do it?

Anyway, what scares you about the whole thing? Try to write them down. Here, there anywhere. Let us know so we can walk you through them. In the mean time check out the articles and book on the link below.

And for the sake of my poor tired eyes Time Out, Could you try to use the capital letter only at the beginning of every sentence not every word. Of course names andplaces being the exception. Don't take this wrong though, it's just that its hard to read. And you'll more likely get more responses if you do.

Christy

[benurising]

Hi there Time Out

You're a brave gal, for seeking treatment and your efforts to get your boyfriend to see a doc are commendable. But you know what, you can bring a horse to the water but honey there is no way you can force him to drink. And speaking of horses I think you're backing the wrong one.

I agree with this completely. And if you really have been faithful, and you are sure that they did test for HSV before you were together, then I'd say chances are that you got it from him, and he doesn't want to face up to his own infidelity. I would double check with the place that you got the negative test at and make sure that they did check for HSV, as many places don't do it automatically when you ask for STD check. I had to specify that I wanted to be tested for *everything*.

And I would dump his sorry butt. Trust is vital in a relationship, and it's abundantly clear that it's not there at all.

Kudos to you for being upfront and responsible.

[Support1]

To TIMEOUT4BS,

As I was reading your posting, I thought you were writing about what happened to me. My ex-boyfriend did the same exact thing to me. He would not get tested and at this point, I do not believe he has. We are not together anymore because I just could not take it. I could not believe that an adult could act so much like a child. I truly feel that he got the virus from someone before me and did the same thing to them. Well, apparently he did not get tested then either because if he did, he would have know and then he would have told me that he had it ( I guess).

I have tried to be so positive about this, but it is starting to wear me down. I am not trying to scare you because this virus is what you make of it. I was diagnosed in November 2006 and it took me two to three months just to stop crying, but that does not mean you will do the same. After about four months, I miracously felt better and energized, but now I am going through a set-back because I am feeling really down, but I must admit that it is other things going on in my life as well.

I want you to know that it does get better and keep your head up, especially for your daughter. I live by three things that have helped me to cope with this situation: "It is what it is", It could be worse", and "At least I am not dead". When I get down, I just start to recite these three things and I develop a whole new perspective on my situation. If you like, you can send me a personal message. Take care and stay strong!

[TIMEOUT4BS]

thank you so much.

i want to thank everyone for your words of encourgement. your responses only validated what i have been thinking. and to benursing yes the lab test was for hsv. i have the reslts in front of me while i typing. it was very hard for me to come to this decision of letting go of this relationship. and i know it is for the better. and after reading some ot the thread i know that is life with this desease. it is only up to me to be a willing participant and stay positive and focus. i want to thank the person or persons who develop this forum. it has been a sonderful source of information. and it is so refreshing to have a place to go to where you can ask questions or just vent and recieve helpful responses. may God continue to bless and keep you all.

[HC-Support-Team]

i want to thank the person or persons who develop this forum. it has been a sonderful source of information. and it is so refreshing to have a place to go to where you can ask questions or just vent and recieve helpful responses.

You are very welcome, Timeout. That's what we are here for

Shenda