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I made it all the way through my 20's, being not so careful, and now that I have settled down and gotten married, I get herpes. Crazy. We have only been married a few months and together a little over a year, and we both found out about this about a month ago. I had all the normal symptoms, pain, itching, burning, blisters, and a cut looking thing too. I could hardly walk or use the restroom, it was terrible. I told my husband what was going on, and that I thought something was seriously wrong with me, and he said he had the same thing going on. We both immediately thought we had herpes, but neither of us said anything right away. After I went to the doctor, which was humiliating, btw, I felt horrible and sick because I thought I had given it to him. Then he admitted that he had had something similar only milder, just before we started dating, but that he hadn't thought it could be herpes because he hadn't slept with anyone for a while before that. After we both started having the same issues, he put two and two together, and now figures he gave it to me.

We have talked about it, and I guess I believe him when he says he didn't know he had it. It's too bad we didn't know so I could have taken measures to protect myself, but I probably would have ended up with it eventually regardless. We were both pretty upset initially, but I am also glad I am not single and dealing with this and that I have at least one person in real life to talk to. My husband is a really great guy and we have a great relationship. Still, I have moments where I think about it and feel depressed or gross, and I also am dreading the next outbreak. I keep telling myself that at least I'll know what to do next time to make myself more comfortable. I am pissed that there is such a stigma surrounding this, and that I have to feel like I can't tell anyone. I would love to get to a point where I felt comfortable telling people what I have, just so they would know that it can happen to anyone. I don't know if I will ever feel that comfortable, so an anonymous forum will have to do for now.

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Hi anyone

Good for you, you're in a stable realtionship which will survive that. Guess your only problem really is the outbreaks. I'll share how I came to master mine with you. Have a look at my signature.

Yesterday I was sitting in the garden with my brother in law and my soon to be ex husband. I was telling them of my marketing efforts to get my book on herpes out. Well I slipped it in that this book was my story and boy I could see his mind ticking. My almost ex husband quickly chipped in, but I don't have it. Then we proceeded to educate my brother in law and we had a good laugh when I told soon to be ex hubbie that the next woman he'll get will be my clone except that she'll have gonorrhoea. Boy we all collapsed.

Christy, and welcome aboard

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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