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How to have the big talk


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So, I met someone this last weekend. Great guy, incredibly sweet. I'm trying to figure out the best way to tell him that I have type 2 orally. Now... I've thought of saying "I basically have cold sores." Which is true. But I have the type that is normally genital. That would be an invitation for him to ask more. But... I don't know. I want to be honest, but saying "herpes" makes people freak out. "cold sores" doesn't. Would it be better to say HSV type 2? Or do you think that it's important to actually say the H word?

I want to be honest, without freaking him out. Any thoughts? I'm taking acyclovir as a suppressive therapy.

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well, you could always start out the conversation with cold sores, but then progress from there. the cold sore part would at least let you open up the conversation without the dreaded herpes word...

it sounds like oral hsv2 rarely sheds, so in that respect it really reduces his risk of getting it from you, but on the other hand, if on the rare day that you might shed you give him oral sex... at some point you have to let him understand the contagious part, whether you call it cold sores or hsv2.

are you on suppressive therapy cause you got lots of outbreaks, or just because? it seems like you wouldn't even need it for oral hsv2...

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I'd jsut say cold sores and wait for his response. I really don't see the point of telling him which type of HSV since they both basically do the same thing. So unless he specifically asks which type I'd just leave it at HSV. What difference does it make, really?

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are you on suppressive therapy cause you got lots of outbreaks, or just because? it seems like you wouldn't even need it for oral hsv2...

I'm on it because I want to reduce shedding. At the time that I started, I was with someone, and it was more to protect him than for my own benefit. I've had all of one outbreak in the two years that I've had it.

Many thanks to everyone for your replies.

I just hate the stigma of the H word. It's ridiculous. We *all* have cold sores. Some have oral cold sores, some have genital cold sores.

I'm also really starting to come to a point where I don't want to hide it anymore. Hiding it makes it seem as though it is something worth hiding!

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"I'm also really starting to come to a point where I don't want to hide it anymore. Hiding it makes it seem as though it is something which needs hiding."

You go. I honestly think that is the best way forward and I mean really forward. Keeping it in the closet is sending the message it is a terrible thing which one should be ashamed of. It stops being an issue when you stop making it one. I wasn't always so smart though. it took me enough years to personally come to terms with it and a while after to be public about it.


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