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darlinggail

By darlinggail
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darlinggail Newbie

darlinggail

Posted
Posted

Hi All,

I am a newbie here and have only posted once. I have been talking to someone on the internet for over 10 months now, but was afraid to meet him because I have herpes. I am also married and younger than him. Finally got to the point where we wanted to meet. He knew about the age difference, and the fact that I was married, but it didn't bother him, as my marriage is very unhappy anyway. But I started a conversation (a what if scenario) and he told me right out that he would not be confortable with dating someone with a std. So I have been crying all night, still am. I have had this for a long time, over 20 yrs. but haven't felt this way about anyone, so haven't had to deal with it, but now I finally have to. I don't want to be married anymore, and my resentment towards my husband is stronger than ever, as he is the one who gave it to me before we were even married. I feel now that he was trying to trap and manipulate me, so that I would never have anyone again. I am so angry now and still crying as I type this, that I don't know what to do. Anyway, I just had to sit and tell someone this and get it out in the open. Are there any happy endings to this? I guess I want to hear that I can find someone someday. And how do you go about finding somebody who can live with it? I would like to hear from other people who have experienced this and how they found someone who could deal with it, and how they told them about it.

darlinggail

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Christy C Established Member

Christy C

Posted
Posted

The silver lining will appear

Oh sweetie

My heart just goes out to you. I wish I could be there with you just to tell you, it will be ok. It really will. One man in four run. There are lots of lovely men out there who will see beyond that, who will see the you and one day you'll be in the lovely predicament to choose from those men who don't run the one you want to share your life with. If you look in my signature at the bottom you'll see an article called Not All Men Run -having the talk again and again and again. Click on my site at the bottom and read it. It will give you hope.

I got to run now, got to put my boys to bed. Keep me post. we're all here for you

Christy

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  • 3 weeks later...
Unbelievable Established Member

Unbelievable

Posted
Posted
Hi All,

But I started a conversation (a what if scenario) and he told me right out that he would not be confortable with dating someone with a std.

darlinggail

My current man said that... he lied... he still dated me... has sex with me... and loves me... even with it.... he doesn't care... in the end... he just cared about me... the rest is just my baggage as he calls it... and he says he doesn't have a problem helping me carry it...

it dude is into you and about more than sexing you... he won't care...

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JP123 Honeycomb Member

JP123

Posted
Posted

Maybe he's scared and doesn't have enough information about it. We all know about the stigma and misconceptions about herpes. If you are still communicating with him (and I hope he is - otherwise he really might have been only after the booty) ask him about his concerns, his fears, and his perceptions. Maybe he things we shed virus all year long. Maybe he thinks he'll get it by kissing you.

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starphyse Established Member

starphyse

Posted
Posted

big hugs

Hi All,

I am a newbie here and have only posted once. I have been talking to someone on the internet for over 10 months now, but was afraid to meet him because I have herpes. I am also married and younger than him. Finally got to the point where we wanted to meet. He knew about the age difference, and the fact that I was married, but it didn't bother him, as my marriage is very unhappy anyway. But I started a conversation (a what if scenario) and he told me right out that he would not be confortable with dating someone with a std. So I have been crying all night, still am. I have had this for a long time, over 20 yrs. but haven't felt this way about anyone, so haven't had to deal with it, but now I finally have to. I don't want to be married anymore, and my resentment towards my husband is stronger than ever, as he is the one who gave it to me before we were even married. I feel now that he was trying to trap and manipulate me, so that I would never have anyone again. I am so angry now and still crying as I type this, that I don't know what to do. Anyway, I just had to sit and tell someone this and get it out in the open. Are there any happy endings to this? I guess I want to hear that I can find someone someday. And how do you go about finding somebody who can live with it? I would like to hear from other people who have experienced this and how they found someone who could deal with it, and how they told them about it.

darlinggail

My recently girlfriend we have been dating a few months not she told me on her 3rd date she had herpes I thought to myself went home and did tons of research and after doing all that I realized its really quite harmless if you have a normal immune system. We plan to have natural unprotected sex and I plan to do oral sex on her even know she has no symptoms its still possible that I could get it. We have waited awhile to make sure our relationship was strong enough to last so I wouldn't get unlucky then end up not in a relationship and stuck alone with it.

My point is my dear is that there are people out there like that understand education is everything if you tell someone you have herpes without explaining it they tend to get scared.. Remember 1-4 people have it one way or another. 500 thousand people a year get it.

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bdjohnson87 Newbie

bdjohnson87

Posted
Posted

I totaly understand!

Hey.. So I just did the same thing, except i have gone on several dates with the guy. I sent him an email, because i didnt know what else to do. I didnt want him to be on a date with me, and him to get all uncomfortable. He hasnt responded yet, and he's online.. honestly he hasnt said anything to me, so i'm assuming he read it and im history! It makes me feel realyl bad and sad because he was terrific.. but I also know that there are great guys out there.. we'll just have to discover them together!

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always searching Honeycomb Member

always searching

Posted
Posted

I hate to play devils advocate here but I can't help seeing this from the guy's side. He's involved with a married woman. Yeah, you SAY you want to leave your husband but theres always that possibility that you might stay.

And he's supposed to risk catching a permanent STD for that?

I think if you were single his reaction might have been different.

Or maybe he is just a jerk & looking for a no-strings-attached hookup. In that case you really don't need him.

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starphyse Established Member

starphyse

Posted
Posted
I hate to play devils advocate here but I can't help seeing this from the guy's side. He's involved with a married woman. Yeah, you SAY you want to leave your husband but theres always that possibility that you might stay.

And he's supposed to risk catching a permanent STD for that?

I think if you were single his reaction might have been different.

Or maybe he is just a jerk & looking for a no-strings-attached hookup. In that case you really don't need him.

Yeah I would say herpes is a turn off to any young player thats just looking to lie to a few girls to get booty from them. Its a good thing that way I would say.

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