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I"m losing myself to this


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:cry::( God this is so hard for me ,I have herpes2 and I just found out.The Doctor says it is sleeping,and put me on a one a day pill for the rest of my life .I can"t sleep, I can"t eat,I want to die!!!! This problem has consumed my every being,I feel dirty, I am so lost, and have no one to go to ,I"m a single mom of 2 wonderful girl,( that i told ) but now when they look at me I wonder what they think of me? I am in no way a easy person (if you know what I mean ) I don"t sleep around. I was with the same man for 10 years , seperated from him for 8 mths and meet a man, we went on dates hell i even talked to him about std ! We slept together, with protection. I had no signs of a problem but went to my doctor told her what happen and to ease my mind had test done everything came back good.... but this!!!!!I told the man i was with and also my previous partner. I truly believe that it was the new man , and he lied to me !!! I get so upset thinking that, I'm mad,hurt,sad,and lost all happiness I have ever had . I know that I'm not alone from what I've read 1 out of 5 have it , help me please , anyone , someone help me:cry:
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First of all, take a deep breath and calm down, Nicole. Everyone goes through this initial shock, panic, anger, shame reaction at first, so that's normal, but try to relax, okay? Let's put this in perspective. You say you have 2 wonderful girls. The good news is, you're going to be around to see them grow up because, unlike cancer, or heart disease, or so many other awful illnesses, herpes won't kill you. The other good news is, you got tested, so now that you know what you're dealing with, you can take steps to minimize it's effects and prevent spreading it around. You say you have no symptoms. That's good. Maybe you never will. There's no way to tell, but some people don't.

Go on line and read everything you can about the disease, and I mean everything. There is a wealth of info just on this site alone, and there are many more sites with additional info. Read it all. Just bear in mind that pictures you might see are almost always worst case scenarios and don't let them scare you. Arm yourself with knowledge. It's the best defense against your fears. These forums are another good place to vent, learn, and communicate. We're all friends here sharing the same problems. Visit often.

As for the stigma and feeling dirty, well, you know it's always the people who think they're untouchable who look down their noses at others. But the fact is, nice people get herpes, and NO ONE can say for sure "I'll never get it". If that was true, a quarter of the population wouldn't be walking around with it now, would they? You're in good company, honey, and you have lots of it. Don't believe for one minute that having herpes defines who you are. I'm sure you were a nice person before, just as you still are, because herpes doesn't change that. You're still the same person you were before.

Okay, so do your homework. Learn all you can. Take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. That's important. There are ways (supplements) to boost your immune system to help better fight the virus (like L-Lysine and Neem, and a bunch of others). Experiment and find what works for you, but do it safely. Don't go off the deep end. This is not a disease that REQUIRES treatment, but treatment (the meds the dr gave you) helps suppress the outbreaks and lessens the chance of passing it on. Before you start grasping at straws, give yourself a chance to calm down and start thinking rationally. Personally, I don't take prescription meds because I don't trust their long term effects, but that's just a personal decision and not one I advocate for anyone else.

Hope this helps you a little. We've all been where you are now, and I promise you it gets easier. Honest. You'll realize that your life's not over by a long shot, and after a little while, it will become an accessory to your life, not the all-encompassing focus of it. So have yourself one more good cry if you need to, then straighten those shoulders and look the world in the eye. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Let us know how you're doing, okay? We're always here to talk to.

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EXCELLENT response writercll.

Nicole07; i am a single mom of 4 wonderful children. i was recently diagnosed with this 4 months ago; got it from a guy i was seeing who i trusted. i felt the same way you do. it can be difficult to accept, adjust and move on, but you will.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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