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Ok...So, first off, I am not sure that I have herpes yet, am going to the dr. tomorrow. Have been having symptoms of what I think COULD be herpes for about 3 weeks. I started talking to this guy about 3 weeks ago, and about 2 weeks into it, we started to mess around one night, and I wouldnt let him touch me, and I began to BALL my eyes out. I told him there was something I had to tell him...and it took me forever to finally get it out to him, that I was afriad that I had herpes and that I had to go to the doctor...but I had to tell him that, as I had feelings for him and couldnt do that to him. Before I told him, I was saying..."i totally understand if you never want to talk to me, and I will go sleep on the couch...etc" He was totally understanding when I told him and grabbed me and pulled me closer. I cried for quite some time, and he just kept holding me and telling me that it will be ok. Telling him was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life...especially since we are not together...but I knew that if I wanted things to work, and I didnt want to depress myself more, that I had to tell him UP FRONT...and I did.

My best friend, the only other person who knows, does not think that it is herpes. And I actually met this guy thro her.

The guy and I have continued to talk and have hung out a few times. There is not as much affection was previous, which is totally understandable.

The other night, we all went out drinking together, and after we got back to his house, I asked him for a kiss and he wouldnt give me one. I asked why, and he said there were 3 "cautions" that he had. I was very nervous to hear them, and scared to death....it has been killing me that I dont know what he is thinking about my whole ordeal. So...the first thing out of my mouth was..."I have a dr. appt on monday, so I hope that I can get things figured out with myself." His response was..."You having to go to the dr. isnt even one of the 3 things...its the 4th, and not important" That was a relief.

The three things were minor things...yes they still bothered me and frustrated me, but knowing that me possibly having herpes wasnt a top concern for him made me feel better. I am confused about what he is thinking and feeling....We arent together, but it is obvious that we both have feelings for each other...but I know that for someone who doesnt have herpes to date someone who does, would be a very big deal and challenge, but something that can be worked through. At my age (23) though, it can be very hard for a guy to deal with something like that. I really like this guy, and I hope and pray all day everyday that it works between us, but even more....that I DO NOT HAVE HERPES!!!

I am not really looking for anyone to say anything to me about this, I just had to get it out of my system. Tellin him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I HOPE and PRAY that within the next week...I can tell him..."Nevermind what I told you last week, I do not have herpes".

My dr. appt is in the morning.

Thanks for taking the time to read!!

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Do you realize you did what most people with H dread right off the bat? Kudos to you. Take this as a sign of your strength and respect for others.

You don't even know if you have it yet and still you have enough respect for others that you disclosed this information. What a vulnerable situation you are/were in.

Look at this as a sign of how strong you are. If and I hope it's not, you are diagnosed positive. You have already jumped the biggest hurdal most people living with H fearfully dread.

This tells me that even if you are positive you are already on the right track to dealing with this. Be proud of yourself for being so brave. Many people sadly enough are'nt. You told not even being sure when there are others who don't knowing they are positive.

You are strong. I know it may not seem like it now. But I have a good feeling you are going to be ok.

Best wishes to you.

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Thank you Shayna and Strong!!

I pray that my results do not come back positive.

Tellin him was honestly one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I didnt want to, but I had to. The weird thing is, I am not one who opens up easily...especially in situations like that.

I hope that he sees this honesty in me, and realizes that I told him because I cared about him...and will have enough respect and will care about me enough to make this work.......

We talked tonight, and he told me he would call me tomrorow to see how my appt goes...felt like that was a good thing...he is at least supporting me through one of the worst and most terrifying things in my life.

Thanks for the support!!

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O yeah...and as you were saying Strong...I told someting that most people who test positive for it dont tell...obviously, if i test positiive (please pray i dont) someone didnt tell me about it...

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Had my dr. appt today.....was NOT herpes....

I have a Staph infection..........HUGE RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel so much better now!! Just wanted to let you guys know...thanks for all the support while I was worried sick that I had herpes....

Now we'll see how everything goes with this guy...since it something that we will have to deal with.....


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