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Where do i go from here?


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Last week i had a brief but unprotected encounter with a girl i didnt really know. I cheated on my girlfriend of 8 months who i love very deeply. I have not had it confirmed yet but all of the symptoms of genital herpes are there... the flu like symptoms, the lower back back, the sensitive red skin on the shaft of my penis. I have several questions, they say your first outbreak is your worst and i was wondering if i have a mild initial outbreak does that mean the following ones will be even less? My good friend got herpes about 4 years ago and he said that after the initial rash he never noticed any other symptoms without taking any medications. Also i was wondering if i should go ahead and by the dynaclear now because i remember reading that the stuff is very effective if it can be used on the initial outbreak.

I am bummed out that i contracted this virus but i am much more sad that i am going to have to lose the woman who i love so much. I though she was the one. My initial emotions are i have let everyone around me down and even worse i have let down myself.

So i guess it all comes back to the title of this post... Where do i go from here?

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Hmmm, this is a tough situation you have gotten yourself in, no doubt. First, once you inform her of what has happened, it might not mean the end. There are relationships that have recovered from worse. It all boils down to how much you both really love each other. If you both do love each other, the infidelity will be the hardest thing to overcome, not the virus.

I'm in love with someone with the virus and even though we weren't dating when she contracted the virus, I couldn't rationalize NOT loving her over this virus. The two just don't preclude the other. If I were to cheat one her or vice versa, that would be an obstacle to overcome. I could never stop loving her, but my disappointment would be huge. I'm willing to bet that this will be hardest part, so you might have to give it a lot of time and open, honest discussion between you two.

If I were her I wouldn't want to make a commitment and possibly contract this if I thought you would be gone later. I'm sure you know all this, but you will just have to face up to your mistake and let the chips fall where they may.

Best of luck!


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I can't help much about the emotional dilema save to ask you to ask yourself why you slept out. Really ask yourself that. It may be (and i'm playing devil's advocate here) that she is a swell person, absolutely brilliant person and any man would be out of their mind not to love her, but you don't in the dep honest total way one needs to be loved or felt loved. or you don't feel it coming from her in that way.

I can tell you where to go from here healthwise. You don't need to suffer with outbreaks or even dread the big one. It all depends on the state you keep your body. Read the articles Outbreak Free and Proud to Be and Stay Alkaline Stay Oubreak Free on my site. You'll find the URL below in my signature.

Do some deep honest thinking, you'll be pointed the way to go. And you'll know it's the right path. it's the one when neither your mind nor nor inner self are in conflict.


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I'd definitely go to a doctor and get diagnosed before you go making any rash decisions. Have you considered the possiblity that it might not be H? I still think you need to be honest that you cheated but before you drop both bombs on her, make sure you are dropping the correct bombs.

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    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
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