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Newbie-Have had herpes for 13 years but I'm only 25

Falls26685

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Falls26685 Newbie

Falls26685

Posted
Posted

Unlike many of you who are newly diagnosed, I was told I had herpes 13 years ago at age 12. I remember some of it but not everything. I had a cold sore (who knows where I got that but that is common in kids), touched it, and used a tampon for the first time (which is extra hard). From all that touching it spread. I had a very bad outbreak from what I remember and was told by my mom. Dr. said it was herpes. Don't know if he did a culture or anything that was too long ago. In 13 years I have had less than 5 outbreaks and never as bad as the first. I can usually tell when one is coming and get medicine quickly. My last outbreak I believe was at least 3 years ago and at that time I had the flu so my immune system was weaker.

Medically as in outbreaks I don't really deal with it. It is the emotional part when telling a guy. The guy from my last relationship of 2 years had no problem with it at all. Since then two guys weren't accepting at first but eventually were willing to do more sexual things. The most recent guy, was the guy that out of all of them, I would want to accept it the most. He didn't and it has upset me a lot just because he was such a great guy compared to every other guy I have dated. Yeah I'm sure there is bad stuff about him cause nobody is perfect but I have yet to find that out.

I was a virgin till I was 23 and have only slept with one guy. I am always honest and tell the guy. Some of the people on here probably got herpes from sleeping around while others didn't. It sucks having to tell someone about it especially since I didn't get it from sexual activity.

I never had any tests done besides what they may have done when I was 12, which like I said I don't remember. Well since this last guy I have decided to have blood work done. I wanted to know what type I had because if I have type I that is also the type that many people have had since they were a child even if they are cold sore free. Then it isn't really an issue. I thought knowing may help in telling people as far as statistics, etc go.

Had blood drawn last Friday and got my results by phone yesterday. I know for sure the lady (not sure if it was a nurse, secretary or who and my dr is out of town till monday) told me I was .1 away from being negative. <0.9 is negative, 0.9-1.0 equivical, and >1.0 positive. It was suppose to be tested for type but the lady said it was tested for the presence of antibodies for either type. I thought the lady said my number was .1 but that would not be right for being equivical and close to negative so I bet she said 1.0. Since I know there are different tests, some more accurate then others, I stopped by the dr's office to get a copy of my results. Now I am even more confused!!

It says HSV I/II IgG Rflx I-II Type Sp (I am guessing that something like the type of test) Then it says HSV I/II IgG results <.9 so to me that looks like negative. When explaining negative, equivical, and positive it says that equivical may suggest early infection. Well I have had this for a LONG time so being tested too early before antibodies appear isn't an issue. So if I am negative maybe it is because I have had it so long? Does that mean less of a chance of passing it on? It would be much easier if my dr. was in town. A physician's assistant that I work with suggested getting it done again. Since no dr. I had to go somewhere else. I have been to this place twice before but it scares me everytime. I told them to make sure it is being tested for type and also the same thing as the other one to compare.

The dr told the nurse that she was only going to test for type II since it started at my mouth then I definatly have type I. I had to explain to the nurse that even if it was transfered to me cold sore to my mouth that it could be type II if the person got it from oral sex. I am the patient. Why am I having to tell the dr what to do and explain it? See why this place scares me.

That blood work was yesterday so I am hoping for results tomorrow if not probably Friday. I have an appt on Tuesday with my regular dr to go over everything.

I know this message has been very long and if you have gotten this far I thank you for reading it all. Does anyone have any suggestions or experience with the actual numbers, etc? Also when is best to tell a guy? I would sometimes tell before it got to oral sex. I have also told guys right away so that if they aren't accepting I dont have as many feelings and get hurt. The last guy was inbetween. I told him when I did cause I could tell I was getting stronger feelings and didnt want to get hurt more than I had to. My dad thinks I should wait longer so the guy develops more feelings for me and then maybe it wont be really an issue.

Thank you for any advice you can give me!

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awake67 Honeycomb Member

awake67

Posted
Posted

When to Tell The Truth

I don't know if you have been consistently reading this site, but I have a response for you regarding when to tell:

The Dating Game

You are most likely worried about what to tell the next prospective lover. Whether you are male or female, it would do you good to consider being open and honest. Having high integrity pays off. Like attracts like kind.

Whenever you feel serious about someone you are dating, that perhaps this is long-term relationship, one that is nurturing and filled with future learned lessons, then you might consider talking about the affectionate nature of your relationship. First of all, if anyone gets touchy-feely within three weeks of a relationship, this person is in need of a morals and ethics class on relationships. How to break it to your “partner” is to ask about how they feel about your relationship. If the answer is strong and positive and provides you will comfort of sharing your “secret,” then go ahead and state, “I have herpes virus. You can only get herpes too if I have an outbreak. Other than that it is no threat.”

I know this is sooo difficult. I’ve been here. I have my share of rejections and acceptances alike. Here is something to smile at: if someone you spent weeks with is now rejecting you for having herpes, then this shallow person is not worth your while anyhow…so just let the person go with a big grin and say to yourself, “It’s a good thing this person is out of my life now!”

Best Wishes, I pray you will find the Love of Your Life.

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gutted. Established Member

gutted.

Posted
Posted

tests -

dont quote me on this..

but i think that tests only look for antibodies in the system - therefore if you havent had an outbreak for awhile you wont have many anitbodies ready in your bloodstream?

hence the low reading.

once u have it you have it for life - no cures.

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