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jaemld Honeycomb Member

jaemld

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Hey--

Im not really sure what to say, i've been reading all these amazing posts and its so nice to hear other stories and learn new things about the herpes virus. I have had it since sept 2006, so not quite a year yet-- and am quite suprised by how well I have handled it... I have not told a soul, so i'm not sure that qualifies for handling it well or not, but personally inside of myself I am dealing... I am ok with it. I feel like i dont know enough about it, and i am wondering what the exact difference is between the 1 and 2... ? Ive never had a cold sore in my life, i have genital herpes, but am wondering how that works as far as if I am able to pass it simply by kissing? Just wanting to find more information... so as to keep my loved ones as far away from this virus as possible. thanks!

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piratedude Honeycomb Member

piratedude

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I think it's fine not to tell anyone. I don't plan on telling anyone unless they need to know. Part of me feels that I'm succumbing to society's prejudice by not telling anyone, but I really don't feel it's anyone else's business. Nothing really to gain.

Type 1 usually affects the mouth area while type 2 usually affects the genital area. They can flip flop, but there is less of a chance of that, and if it does happen, the effect is usually less severe (less recurrence and magnitude). The different types are the same basic virus that evolved slightly to better attack different areas.

If you only have genital herpes, you can only spread it by contact with the genitals. So you can spread it to other parts of your body (mouth, fingers, even eye) by touching it and yourself, to someone else's genitals through intercourse, or to someone else's mouth through oral.

The only way you'd spread it through kissing is if you also have oral herpes. Most people actually do have oral herpes (around 80% of the population), but don't have symptoms. Most who have genital herpes don't have symptoms either. Even if you don't have symptoms, it is possible to spread herpes, although much less likely.

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jaemld Honeycomb Member

jaemld

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well thanks for the quick response... Im understanding the difference... just a beginning of a new way of living I suppose!! I have not dated since i found out and do plan on talking about it when i decide to start again to who ever that may be with but that is not something i can even think about... this is crazy stuff.

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bluefrog Acknowledged Support Member

bluefrog

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i have had herpes since april 07 and i have not told a single person. the only people who know are those on this forum and those on postive singles. i just dont see what telling my family or friends will do for me. i am getting better with dealing and accepting. i have not dated either and frankly the way i feel about getting this virus, don't look kindly at men right now.

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jaemld Honeycomb Member

jaemld

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yeah its not something i want my parents and everyone else thinking of everytime they look at me... its just something im choosing to deal with on my own. Dont let it make you change your opinions on men-- it sucks and its really easy to get angry, but that will never help you move on from this. lifes a bitch, but you can let it get you down or you can move forward and hope for all the good things that you really do deserve.

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bluefrog Acknowledged Support Member

bluefrog

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i know this is just a short term feeling that i have. i will def be looking to a nice date, dinner out and not having to cook for my kids!!!! lol. thanks for the upbeat response, i needed that :o)

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MikeTwo Honeycomb Member

MikeTwo

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Yeah, I don't see the point of telling anyone except someone you trust and plan to be intimate with. Also, if you have close friend whom you have complete faith in, it's ultimately no one else's business. Females who plan to have children have to obviously tell their OB-Gyn (if they don't already know).

I have to admit, I had a negative image of those who got the virus long ago. Until someone I knew, respected and loved told me how she got the virus I realized how unbelievably lucky I am for not having the genital form due to my promiscuity growing up. This is just a small, microscopic virus and it doesn't determine who anyone is as a person.

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piratedude Honeycomb Member

piratedude

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Yeah don't take it out on us men! I got it from a girl who either didn't know or didn't bother telling me. I would never not tell someone, even if had no outbreak and had a condom. I don't see how anyone could live with the guilt of potentially exposing someone to a lifelong disease.

Theres a lot of bad seeds on both sides, but I really think most people are basically good.

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jaemld Honeycomb Member

jaemld

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Exactly! Takes two to tango. If anything I think I have realized more good things about myself and the people around me than I ever took the time to notice before... however that works! I think we will all be ok with telling someone when its the right person to tell... thats what I tell myself so I can shut up in my head about it anyways :)

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Mr Hopeful Honeycomb Member

Mr Hopeful

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....i have not dated either and frankly the way i feel about getting this virus, don't look kindly at men right now.

I'm sorry if you were passed this from someone who lied to you, because I'm damn well going to make sure I'm not going to pass this onto anyone else.

I went through every emotion when I first contracted this, and now I'm determined to fight it and not let it affect me.

I've often wondered what'd happen if I split from my current girlfriend. Would I bother dating again?

Yes, I would. If you let something beat you, you may as well be dead, in my honest opinion.

I'm really sorry if you caught this virus off some swine, but please don't let it beat you or make it think that you should never date again. I REALLY believe that it shouldn't ruin your life..

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    • CHT
      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      HSV genital likely?

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
      HSV-2 transmission under Valtrex daily therapy. Hopeful a healthy sex life is possible? Thx for sharing!

      By TS4real · Posted

      Out of curiosity, did you take valtrex at the very first OB?
    • FeelingLost75
      Tell me your symptoms

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      GHSV1 has be going crazy

      By TS4real · Posted

      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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