Spreading the love

[playadelsol]

So I finally came clean to a recent girl I was dating, to you know, be morally conscious and to "do the right thing" and tell her I have HSVII What happened? Well, we broke up the next day. Not for having H of course, but because of her. She wasn't ready for the committment.

Well, this will be the last time that I ever do that again. In fact, I'm going to make sure that I never tell another partner that I have H again. I'm going to even go one step further and make an effort to have unprotected sex with multiple partners. Why on Earth would I do a god awful thing like that? Well, before you all jump at me, hear my rationale.

First of all, did anyone inform me that they have H? No. And, I'm sure that the majority of the people on this forum are in the same boat. Yes, I know there are a group of you that have been told beforehand. But I'm going to wager a guess that it is in the neighborhood of 70% of the people here have NOT been told. Of course, this reason alone does not surely give me the right to do the same. Do onto others as you wish others to do onto u?

Here's my real rationale. If you ever have read the Dr.Seuss book, Sneetches, then you will understand exactly where I'm coming from. The premise is that there are two kinds of sneethes. Ones with stars and ones without. The star-bellied sneetches do not want to fratanize with the ones without. Finally, a man comes with a machine to give stars on the bellies of the sneetches without stars. Finally, they are accepted again since the other sneetches do not know the difference. The story continues but in the end, all sneetches finally accept one another as they are. Well, I'm sure Dr.Seuss didn't mean this story to apply so much to people with herpes and people without but it works.

So here's the question. What if everyone in the world had herpes?? Then would it have the same negative social stigma? Would people go through the endless moral dilemmas of telling their partners and worry about acceptance?

I would argue that aside from the minor physical discomfort (and I know some of you have major discomforts) of the disease, the whole social side would be gone. I would argue that the minor pain of everyone having the disease would be much less then the major pain of the group of us have to go through with the social aspect of the disease.

So, after several failed attempts to tell partners I have the disease and get rejected, I'm vowing to never tell another partner again and have endless unprotected sex with countless individuals in the hopes that they will do the same and by not to very long in the future, the world will all have herpes and there will be a lot less pain the world. I urge you to do the same.

Spread the love.

[Strong]

only thing I have to say... HIV

[MikeTwo]

Hmmm, if you're joking I don't think anyone is laughing. If you're not, then I feel sorry for you and anyone who comes in contact with you. Spread the love? Spread the anger, hatred and bitternes while you're at it. You made a bad decision because you weren't informed, lived recklessly, showed immaturity and the lesson you've learned is to keep this destructive behavior going? Nice job. You made an adult decision to have sex, now you're dealing with consequences so do the right thing and act like an adult.

If you're looking for hook-ups try the anonymous classifieds and be honest, I bet there is a great person waiting to meet and maybe just hook up with someone like yourself. The bottomline is to take the step towards being grown up and creating integrity within yourself.

[Shayna]

Are you outta your fucking mind?!?!?!

[bluefrog]

playadelsol,

not sure if you think this is funny and if you are serious or not, but all i can say is God help you. What a terrible outlook you have on this. how very selfish of yourself to not tell your partners. revenge on innocent people because somebody did you wrong in life is def. the wrong approach. i honestly hope you rethink your position on this.

do you have children? what if somebody did this to your children? how would you feel then?

[Christy C]

You're a lucky guy. You know why. Because having revealed this to your gal she revealed her true nature to you. A 'just wanna have fun babe'. I think you should look at the silver lining and count yourself lucky. Now you can move on with your life now rather than wasting so much time in a relationship which will progress nowhere.

If you are having outbreaks it signifies that your immune system is more than compromised. YOu're not healthy enough to knock this thing off yet. So what's going to happen when you sleep arround in the hope of making the world a more equal place. Well you'll get whatever else is going arround faster. It's a bit like spitting in the face of the wind. You get it all over you.

All I can say to you is take time for yourself right now. Get to know yourself. What you want from life. Do things which you love to do (sex aside). Just give time time to sort this out for you. At the very least wait. The way you feel today is not the way you'll feel tomorrow.

Don't listen to your mind. Yesterday you're convinced teling was the best thing. Noble and right. Today you're at the other end. Fuck the world share the disease. Your mind is hopping. DO not look for the solutions to your problems in your head. And if it helps always take the middle ground. Which in your case would read I need not tell every girl and neither need I sleep with every girl. I wish indeed that you find true love. An open minded honest soul who is ready to walk with your futher along the road of awareness and consiousness. Don't forget you're one of the privileged, you've left the state of mass unconsiousnes behind (do as one pleases, fuck the consequences) you're now about to fly with the angels. But you mst first prove your mettle to qualify for the wings. I wrote this poem some time ago. I'll let you have it. You can substitute the word God for good. it means the same thing.

Angel Girl

If I found an earthly girl

Who had got angel wings

If I found an earthly girl

Who for God’s glory sings

If I found an angel girl to whisper in my ear

I’m sure my life on earth here would be easier to bear

I’d hold her tight

With all my might

And never let her go

Oh if I found an earthly girl who walks with God’s own glow

Oh that I find an angel girl to see the God in me

I would live to adore the little God in she

I think we’d surely travel

And all the world we’d see

And hand in hand discover God’s vast diversity

And when at last our days were done

And from this world we’d flee

We’d trade in our duality

For the Holy Trinity

You have all my love

Christy

[playadelsol]

So I'm guessing I'm not getting a lot of support on my approach eh?

Well, you're not completely, I am not being selfish. Deep down, I wish to somehow, in some round about way, help the mass population. I am certain that emotional pain >>>>> physical pain.

Well, fuck that. Maybe I'm not going to go around and sleep with every partner I see. I'm not stupid. I don't want HIV. But I sure as hell am not going to inform every partner I set eyes on, that I have this disease.

Like I said, I already took the moral highground and you know what?, it didnt' work out so well for me. You're right, I'm being selfish. But you know what? At the end of the day, every single human being is selfish. And they only look out for the best interests. In this case, I'm looking out for mine.

Also, let me plant this little seed, imagine a world where there were no differences and every single person was in the same boat. Would you still feel the same?

[playadelsol]

You're a lucky guy. You know why. Because having revealed this to your gal she revealed her true nature to you. A 'just wanna have fun babe'. I think you should look at the silver lining and count yourself lucky. Now you can move on with your life now rather than wasting so much time in a relationship which will progress nowhere.

If you are having outbreaks it signifies that your immune system is more than compromised. YOu're not healthy enough to knock this thing off yet. So what's going to happen when you sleep arround in the hope of making the world a more equal place. Well you'll get whatever else is going arround faster. It's a bit like spitting in the face of the wind. You get it all over you.

All I can say to you is take time for yourself right now. Get to know yourself. What you want from life. Do things which you love to do (sex aside). Just give time time to sort this out for you. At the very least wait. The way you feel today is not the way you'll feel tomorrow.

Don't listen to your mind. Yesterday you're convinced teling was the best thing. Noble and right. Today you're at the other end. Fuck the world share the disease. Your mind is hopping. DO not look for the solutions to your problems in your head. And if it helps always take the middle ground. Which in your case would read I need not tell every girl and neither need I sleep with every girl. I wish indeed that you find true love. An open minded honest soul who is ready to walk with your futher along the road of awareness and consiousness. Don't forget you're one of the privileged, you've left the state of mass unconsiousnes behind (do as one pleases, fuck the consequences) you're now about to fly with the angels. But you mst first prove your mettle to qualify for the wings. I wrote this poem some time ago. I'll let you have it. You can substitute the word God for good. it means the same thing.

Angel Girl

If I found an earthly girl

Who had got angel wings

If I found an earthly girl

Who for God’s glory sings

If I found an angel girl to whisper in my ear

I’m sure my life on earth here would be easier to bear

I’d hold her tight

With all my might

And never let her go

Oh if I found an earthly girl who walks with God’s own glow

Oh that I find an angel girl to see the God in me

I would live to adore the little God in she

I think we’d surely travel

And all the world we’d see

And hand in hand discover God’s vast diversity

And when at last our days were done

And from this world we’d flee

We’d trade in our duality

For the Holy Trinity

You have all my love

Christy

Oh and thanks for your kind words and thoughts. It's more than I can say for the rest of the posts.

[MikeTwo]

Oh and thanks for your kind words and thoughts. It's more than I can say for the rest of the posts.

Awww, are you looking for sympathy? Gimme a break! You want to infect unsuspecting others and expect "kind word and thoughts" from people on this board? If that's what you expect you're going to be disappointed.

You need to realize, like most of the adults on this board, that YOU made a decision and now you need learn to deal with it. It's called being an adult. I don't care what excuses you have, accept this predicament and stop with the the self-pity, it's destructive and as you grow older, you'll learn that being a grown-up requires taking responsibility, not getting 'even' because life has dealt you a problem.

Do everyone a favor and go talk to someone before you continue this downward spiral.

[TIMEOUT4BS]

two wrongs don't make it right

so you think because your exposure to herpes gives you the right to infect other unsuspected person you are so out of order my friend. i know you are angry. i am angry also but i refuse to allow my anger to consume to the point of being a vigilante. what you are planning to do or you already have done is an injustice to the other person. being rejected is not easy. but you knew that was a possibility when the topic comes up. be realistic here people are so uneducated when it comes to STD. all STD. people only have an awareness of the disease only when they or someone they know have been affected by a std. so i am pleading with you to rethink what you about to do. and i pray that you have not done it already. like i know 2 wrongs does not make it right. it is wrong no matter how you look at or how you feel. i will pray for you and ask God to change you heart. and allow him to heal your broken heart and sprite.

[ouch]

I don't believe what I am reading...

"Bah WAH...I have herpes!! BAH WAH, people reject me because of it!! BAH WAH I HAVE HERPES AND WANT THE WORLD TO HURT THE WAY I DO AND FOR ALL OF US TO BE THE SAME!! BAH WAH!! I am not going to tell anybody because I caught it from nobody telling ME BAHWAH!!! "

That is what I am getting for your post lad. One big fat selfish bahwah!!

At first I thought it was a joke, but reading on, it seems as though you are serious. As others have pointed out, two wrong do not equal a right. I have herpes, but I sure as hell do not want ANYBODY else to have it. Not even the worst humanbeing in the world. I have touched onto the hows and whys of my personal opinion on this previously, so I shan't bore everyone again, but yeah, I don't want everyone to have herpes.

While I enjoyed the Dr. Seuss analogy, it is a still a FICTIONAL CHILDS BOOK. the fact that you brought up a childs story of acceptance proves you still need to grow up and learn how to DEAL with having this virus.

the scarier thing is that you are NOT alone in thinking this way. There ARE others like you out there, pissed at the world, childish and immature and who are spreading this virus to unsuspecting victims. I was certainly one of these people (I caught it from a fuckin' doctor who KNEW HE HAD IT.) Just be careful....there are people out there who are NOT afraid to take a legal stance against you should you knowingly infect them. You think your life is such a "hell" now because you have to "tell" people your status?? Wait until you get immersed into a legal battle, where your FACE will be plastered everywhere for all to see what a shallow person you are. AND to have to pay some type of restitution to the person you infected. No fun there!

I am hoping you are just upset and venting and not being serious at all. Bad joke and all that.

[bluefrog]

Amen Ouch. Amen.

[annyi]

A few points I would like to make:

1. During the time period around outbreak, one's skin barrier is at its weakest. That's why virus in you can present on top of the skin, at the same time, outside virus/bacteria can easily invade into your body--that is why it is said, having herpes makes one more prone to other HIVs. So if you don't want to get more unsolicited "gifts", wear condoms.

2. Sex action comes much earlier than a relationship formation, this fact makes difficult about the "telling" timing. It is almost unavoidable that telling a partner at the time of sex in the beginning will end with a rejection. Is it possible to delay sex after both parties fall in love? Sounds like a dream...

3. Is it practical/possible/acceptable/moral that one can use protection, don't do it during dangerous period of time, wear boxer shorts etc. making sure it is not contageous, but avoid the "talk" until later?

4. It is crazy to spread it intentively.

[thiscantbe]

I just can't imagine knowingly putting innocent people at risk for this, without informing them first. Remember, not everyone gets a mild case, and you might really make someone quite sick for a while with a primary outbreak (some people have bad symptoms for weeks - even with treatment)... and some people experience constant OBs. True they aren't dying of cancer, but you can make people miserable. You never know how nicely this virus will treat its new host. And altho this virus doesn't have to get you down, for some people it really does... someone more prone to depression might undergo a major depressive episode cause of this... so don't take too lightly the consequences of passing this on...

someone who cares for you will be willing to take the risk...

I know it sucks to now have another hurdle to overcome, but how can you look yourself in the mirror everyday, knowing you are hurting people?

[benurising]

This is tantamount to rape. YES, rape.

You are taking away someone's choice. Was it ok that it happened to you? No. Is it ok that you knowingly do it to someone else? Hell no.

Most people who spread it don't even know that they have it. Or they're under the understanding that they can't spread it during an outbreak. There are very few who knowingly spread it.

I genuinely hope that you haven't acted on this yet. And I hope that you can heal enough emotionally that you don't feel the need to randomly hurt others.

And don't forget... not everyone has it easy. Those with compromised immune systems are well and truly fucked if they get it. And in rare cases, it could lead to their death. Do you really want to be responsible for that? If you take away their option to give consent to exposure, then that responsibility completely lies on your shoulders.

Instead of spreading the disease, why don't you spread knowledge of it? Get rid of some of that misinformation thats out there. *that* is spreading the love.

May you find peace.

[Christy C]

Playadelsol,

Those who seek the true path must not expect any offer of respect, honour or devotion. (Don't expect that because you were noble you will automatically qualify for the fuck - smile) And further they must not aim with a slight effort (I know it was hard but you can't give up after one attempt).

Suppose a man goes to the forest to get some of the pith that grows in the centre of a tree and returns with a burden of branches and leaves, thinking that he has secured what he went after. Would he not be foolish if he is satisfied with the branches and leaves instead of the pith which he was after? But this is what you are doing. You tried to get the girl, the right girl, you come back with a load of crap. Don't be satisfied with that. Plug on for the real mc coy. I can't find the lines of a lovely poem I read some years ago but it was called Keep A Going. Keep a going keep a going.

All my love Christy

(Pith is the essential part of something, the tissues inside plants)

[Caliope]

You're Special!

Imagine a world where everyone is equal.

Everyone has cancer. Everyone lives in an impoverished third world country and things get worse every day. Everyone is infested with disease and hopelessness. Our babies are born with birth defects and handicaps. Our houses are shacks, the sun doesn't shine, and the air is contaminated and we can hardly breath. There are people who experience these type of things every day but do they wish them on the rest of the world in an effort to forge understanding? I doubt it.

How will this make everyone happy? How will this desire to see everyone around you suffering make the world a better place.

You were born, like the rest of humanity, to have a full range of experiences both physical and emotional. You were not afforded a choice to pick the color of your skin, your ethinic origin or your parents. Yet here you are. The beauty of this life is that you can make each new day and experience unique and you can change it up by using the power you have inside you to imagine and accomplish new things and thus experience the magnitude of being human.

Life would not be worth living if everyone was exactly the same, with the exact same experiences. This would take away the reason to create, to love, to dream.

I encourage you to look deeper in your soul and find the truth. It is understandable that you are angry and understandable that you believe this virus is unfair but it is one small part of the entire you. When your approach is to allow it to control you to the degree that you want to use it as a weapon against others it is your master.

Don't take yourself for granted and waste your potential by going on a sexual rampage of destruction. You are worth more than that.

[ouch]

Well well WELL said Caliope! Thank you!

[dbc1951]

I will respond to this with the assumption that the OP is not a faker.

I understand the pain of rejection. Believe it or not, I've always been scorned more for the fact that I'm short (5'3) than I have herpes. I've always been short...but have only had herpes since 2000.

That doesn't excuse my not telling a possible sex partner. I would dearly love to come home and be intimate with someone and have her care for me as a man and not as a source of cash (my ex-wife). Loneliness is probably one of the worst things imaginable. You feel as though you're dying but still alive.

Still, I could never put anyone in the position of catching this simply to gratifiy myself. The moment would pass and then I would feel like an utter a-hole.

Another important thing that the OP must consider is that this is criminal assault in most states. Guess what? IT SHOULD BE.

I wish that life had treated you better. I wish it had given me the wife, children, and grandchildren that i've always wanted. Life can be brutally unfair but it doesn't give you the right to destroy another person's happiness as someone destroyed yours. There are no exceptions to this rule.

[playadelsol]

"Bah WAH...I have herpes!! BAH WAH, people reject me because of it!! BAH WAH I HAVE HERPES AND WANT THE WORLD TO HURT THE WAY I DO AND FOR ALL OF US TO BE THE SAME!! BAH WAH!! I am not going to tell anybody because I caught it from nobody telling ME BAHWAH!!! "

That is what I am getting for your post lad. One big fat selfish bahwah!!

At first I thought it was a joke, but reading on, it seems as though you are serious. As others have pointed out, two wrong do not equal a right. I have herpes, but I sure as hell do not want ANYBODY else to have it. Not even the worst humanbeing in the world. I have touched onto the hows and whys of my personal opinion on this previously, so I shan't bore everyone again, but yeah, I don't want everyone to have herpes.

While I enjoyed the Dr. Seuss analogy, it is a still a FICTIONAL CHILDS BOOK. the fact that you brought up a childs story of acceptance proves you still need to grow up and learn how to DEAL with having this virus.

the scarier thing is that you are NOT alone in thinking this way. There ARE others like you out there, pissed at the world, childish and immature and who are spreading this virus to unsuspecting victims. I was certainly one of these people (I caught it from a fuckin' doctor who KNEW HE HAD IT.) Just be careful....there are people out there who are NOT afraid to take a legal stance against you should you knowingly infect them. You think your life is such a "hell" now because you have to "tell" people your status?? Wait until you get immersed into a legal battle, where your FACE will be plastered everywhere for all to see what a shallow person you are. AND to have to pay some type of restitution to the person you infected. No fun there!

I am hoping you are just upset and venting and not being serious at all. Bad joke and all that.

I hate to break it to you, I'm not bitter and angry at the world like you make me out to be. I'm simply fed up with being a victim and others telling me to take the moral high ground. Was I initially angry that I broke up with my GF because of this. Sure.

As for the Dr.Seuss analogy, I don't think that suggests for any moment, that I am immature in my thinking. It was an analogy.

I am merely playing devil's advocate and arguing that there is a different perspective here. I think that in the next 10 years, herpes will be a much more common virus as it is an easily transmitable one, people can carry the virus asymtomatically, and by the pyramid effect alone, it will be passed on to thousands of people.

Legal battle? LOL, you must be american. Well, then I am about to start sueing my ex-girlfriend for giving me the flu then since she certainly didn't disclose that information prior to us having contact . If someone can sue someone else for giving them a virus, then I can in theory, sue anyone for another type of virus. See that is the problem with this virus, it has such a negative connotation to it (STD) that people think they can suddenly start taking a legal action.

Am I going to go out and maliciously spread the virus, probably not. The whole point was this:

If the majority of the population has the virus (which I argue will happen in the future), this will lead to an actual decrease in emotional pain as a whole.

That is: a large number of people with herpes=physical pain +small amount of emotional pain <<<<< smaller number of people with herpes=physical pain + large amount of emotional pain.

The emotional pain I am equating to the fear of telling people, rejectiong, failed relationships, etc.

[playadelsol]

Imagine a world where everyone is equal.

Everyone has cancer. Everyone lives in an impoverished third world country and things get worse every day. Everyone is infested with disease and hopelessness. Our babies are born with birth defects and handicaps. Our houses are shacks, the sun doesn't shine, and the air is contaminated and we can hardly breath. There are people who experience these type of things every day but do they wish them on the rest of the world in an effort to forge understanding? I doubt it.

Wow, if this is your take on having herpes, you certainly have a twisted view of the world. Nice hyperbole though....Your right, the world would come to an end if everyone had herpes....

How will this make everyone happy? How will this desire to see everyone around you suffering make the world a better place.

See my post below. Again what is worse for you, physical suffering or emoitional suffering?

You were born, like the rest of humanity, to have a full range of experiences both physical and emotional. You were not afforded a choice to pick the color of your skin, your ethinic origin or your parents. Yet here you are. The beauty of this life is that you can make each new day and experience unique and you can change it up by using the power you have inside you to imagine and accomplish new things and thus experience the magnitude of being human.

I agree. That's what I am doing.

Life would not be worth living if everyone was exactly the same, with the exact same experiences. This would take away the reason to create, to love, to dream.

I encourage you to look deeper in your soul and find the truth. It is understandable that you are angry and understandable that you believe this virus is unfair but it is one small part of the entire you. When your approach is to allow it to control you to the degree that you want to use it as a weapon against others it is your master.

Don't take yourself for granted and waste your potential by going on a sexual rampage of destruction. You are worth more than that.

Again, I am not letting this virus control me. This is my way of breaking free. I am not suggesting that this would be done for selfish reasons but utilitarian ones.

[playadelsol]

I will respond to this with the assumption that the OP is not a faker.

I understand the pain of rejection. Believe it or not, I've always been scorned more for the fact that I'm short (5'3) than I have herpes. I've always been short...but have only had herpes since 2000.

That doesn't excuse my not telling a possible sex partner. I would dearly love to come home and be intimate with someone and have her care for me as a man and not as a source of cash (my ex-wife). Loneliness is probably one of the worst things imaginable. You feel as though you're dying but still alive.

Still, I could never put anyone in the position of catching this simply to gratifiy myself. The moment would pass and then I would feel like an utter a-hole.

Another important thing that the OP must consider is that this is criminal assault in most states. Guess what? IT SHOULD BE.

Again there are two issues here, a legal one and a philosophical one. Anything can be proven to be against the law. Yes, the action in itself could be considered to be a bad one but not if the desired result was to bring down suffering on a global level, then is it still the same?

Difficult, I know, to prove in court.

Again, assisted suicide is illegal (in many states I assume) since the mere action of ending someone else's life sounds awful. But what if this patient is undergoing considerable pain from cancer that is going to bring a slow and agonizing death?? Then, the action may be forgiven by some since the desired end brings about less pain than not taking action. See where I'm going here?

[tothefuture]

playadelsol, your now ex-girlfriend didn't end the relationship because you have herpes. My guess is that these narcissistic personality traits which are clearly evident in your posts, will be evident in other areas of your life.

She didn't like what she saw, and she got out. Good for her.

Again there are two issues here, a legal one and a philosophical one. Anything can be proven to be against the law. Yes, the action in itself could be considered to be a bad one but not if the desired result was to bring down suffering on a global level, then is it still the same?

Are you completely bonkers????????????

Who do you think you are - superman???!!!!!

You're out to save the world from the emotional pain of herpes - by...........infecting as many people as you can.

Sit down, think about what you're saying, and for god's sake, GROW UP.

[maxwell777]

You don't need to worry about infecting everyone. Your plan has already happened and it didn't make any difference. Virtually everyone already has herpes in some form. 90% from most sources. Only the minority do not. 90% of the majority do not know they have it.

I don't see how infecting the last 10% of the population will make any difference.

Information, Image, Stigma, Health, Attitude. Maybe there's something that you can change for the better.

Take care,

[ALONE-N-TULSA]

Ok thats your veiw?

playadelsol you know I understand where your coming from....I'm not giving simpathy....

just realying understanding as to where you are comiong from on this.But if you will dig down deep with in your self to your very soul and then past that you will discover what I like to refer to as the QUICKING....if you know what I'm talking about you will know that it's the part of every himan being that exists....when you are abuot to do or pertake of something that is not good,rite or,proper etc....you will fell this uneasy felling....follow that and you won't go wrong.