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1badnightmare

About to lose it!!

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1badnightmare

I was just diagnosed with HSV2 on Monday and have been on an emotional roller coaster ever since. :cry: I contracted it from a guy I am seeing now (I guess) because I was with my ex-boyfriend for 3 1/2 years and never experienced anything like this. The new guy says he has never had any symptoms but is going to be checked on Monday. He seems a little too damn calm to me to hear that I have an uncurable STD and he could possibly have it also. That makes me wonder if he is lying to me about not knowing if he has it. I have been crying constantly all week and feel my depression which I suffered from 3-4 years ago is returning. I feel like my life is over. I don't really see a future with this guy but now what do I do? Who would want a future with me now? On the surface, I am a very attractive, intelligent, independent, financially stable individual.....but i have HSV2. Not a good selling point.

My first outbreak wasn't anything like I have read. I had maybe 3 small pimples that weren't grouped together and had no burning during urination. I didn't have fever, muscle pain, or swollen glands. That is why I really didn't go the doc right away after seeing the open lesion in my genital area. I thought it was from so rough sex I had the night before. The only symptom i had was pain in the thighs and buttocks. But now I still have some stinging in my vaginal area, even though I have completed the Valtrex therapy for recurrent outbreaks. No sores or blisters. Just stinging and it's driving me crazy!!! How long will this last? I know that my emotions may have a lot to do with my body getting back to normal, but it's hard to not stress over something like this, especially when it's all new to me. It's been about 1 month since the initial outbreak. Shouldn't things be back to normal? All I want is to feel normal again. Will I ever????

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TITANIC

Yes you will feel normal again, you just have to get through the initial shock of it all.. after your head is clear you will feel this vibrant burst of " I am beautiful, I am the same person I was yesterday attitude" But it does take a few weeks to get to that point. I went through all of the same emotions, you will be surprised at how "unbig" of a deal it will seem to yourself and others as time goes on.

I am not making light of it as I have the same thing but I am still the same loving, caring, compasiionalte woman I ever was even more so now. You will now know when you are really loved instead of being just for sex. sex is great and wonderful with the right person and if they slight you for this they are not worth it and you are worthmore than that. Give yourself a big hug you are beautiful take care,titanic

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1badnightmare

Thanx

Thank you. It feels good to share this with someone who understands and won't judge. I a mclose to my mom and sis but can't get the nerve to tell them this. Everyone n my fam looks up to me so much, and I feel like a big ass failure right now. I will tell them one day (probably when I really feel like this is driving me seriously insane). I do believe this forum is going to be my lifesaver.

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jaemld

this forum WILL be your lifesaver. Its amazing to get it off your chest and read so many amazing people's story and how they cope with this. Its ok to feel out of control right now--- you will be better.... we are only human and sometimes things get thrown at us that we learn very great lessons from.

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jupiter

You are not alone! When I was first diagnosed (in Feb) all I could think about was 'I have a disease... who is going to want me now.' I would see people throughout the day and wonder if they had the virus too. I would constantly cry and think to myself 'how could this happen to me.' It was all that was on my mind.... but guess what? Those feelings stop --- you realize that you are the same person! You accept it and move on with your life as normal. You realize that you are still fabulous and the negative feelings go away! The beauty of it is, no one has to know (exept your partner/future partners) or if you trust someone and want to tell he/she. This forum is such a wonderful place to get your feelings out, you don't have to feel embarrassed, and everyone is so comforting and they make you feel better about yourself!

don't give up! -jupiter :cool:

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Christy C

A bit of light reading

Welcome aboard. let me send you to my webpage where I have a few articles which will help you perhaps come to terms with this. They range from dating to healthy eating to eliminate outbreaks. I hope they help you.

Christy

Ps you'll find my url below in my signature

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1badnightmare

I start another day

Thanx guys for the words of encouragement. Today is a new day and I start it with anxiety again. Feeling like a big knot is in my chest and it's beating hard, along with my head spinning with a million thoughts and emotions. I'm trying to calm down, but as mentioned, it will take some time. Again, thanx.

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