Anxiety!!!!!

[1badnightmare]

I wake up each morning with a feeling of panic and anxiety. My pcp has prescribed lorazepam but I do not want to become addicted to those pills. I know the anxiety is from the lastest event of my being diagnosed. How do I cope with this? (i am starting to cry again:cry:) It's only been a week and I feel like I won't get over this. I suffered from depression in the past and was on meds but got strong enough to stop taking them, but now I feel those old feelings returning. I have an appt with a psychiatrist tomorrow to just talk this out with someone because no one but my doc and bf knows about this. I just want my life back. I want to be and feel normal again. This is taking over my every thought and is driving me crazy. My bf is getting tested today (why? i don't know, b/c I'm sure i got it from him). He is saying that he hasn't had any symptoms at all, but I really don't believe him. Guess the test will tell. Any suggestions on how to deal with this anxiety? How to deal with this all together? I try praying, but get upset because I ask why did God allow this to happen. But that is a discussion for another time. Please send encouragement.

[DanaS]

I was diagnosed last month and I understand how you feel. I believe that I got it from my bf as well and I also feel that my life is falling apart as a result of it all. It's hard, but your life will still go on. Keep telling yourself that, maybe go out, plan a trip do somthing to take your mind off of it. I hope that helps and give you some solace. There are members here who have experienced what we are feeling and they can atest that eventually it does get better. I have hope and you should too. I just want my life back too, but I can't.

[Shayna]

hi 1badnightmare,

Honestly, the very best thing for your anxiety is exercise.

Get out and walk...a long walk. Put on your sunglasses so you feel anonymous, Then put one foot in front of the other. Before you know it you'll start feeling better!

[awake67]

When I first contracted herpes I was a complete emotional mess. Not only having the experience of being pinned down during a date with someone I didn’t know, but then experiencing excruciating pain in a very delicate area. My nerves where “shot” and after a week or so, I was having abdomen pain that I couldn’t move. The doctor at the hospital did a cat scan and saw “tender” flesh, but there was no actual reason for pain. My emotions where eating my body! He gave me one of the strongest pain killers and I felt better. Just the fact that he was concerned made me feel better. Now, 20 years later, I realize I needed to focus on me, me physically, and set aside my emotions. My physical body was screaming for my attention and I was wrapped up in powerful negative thoughts, thus creating unproductive negative emotions.

Here is my suggestion then for those under this type of circumstance: don’t think of yesterday. Don’t think of your future. Just concentrate on caring for your body today. There was a suggestion of exercise. Even if you have the symptoms, force yourself to get out and do some yoga, walk around the mall, go to a place that you like, that is happy and gives you the smiles. This is healing for you. Concentrate on healing you in the present. Listen to soothing music, read a book, by new clothes, get your nails done, wash your car, go to a spiritual place and pray for strength. These are healing. You may be in dis-comfort, but this doesn’t last long. Be positive! What about your life? Are you not still living? Be happy that you have the opportunity to be strong and overcome such a situation. Three out of five people have herpes! You are not alone in your struggle.

What you don’t do is: bicker and complain, worry about your future.

You are probably thinking foul thoughts about your situation. Scared, angry, complaining, filled with self-pity, worried about the future of your love life, perhaps envious for the person who gave it to you and jealous of those who don’t have it. I went through all the motions as well. I learned that this trial came to me because of a reason. I did not take sex seriously. I was foolish, not respecting myself as I should. I did not respect my emotions and let people push me around. I did not respect my body by smoking and drinking and getting laid whenever I had the chance. I then met a like-minded person, who also did not respect me. Like attracts like kind. Why do I have herpes? I have herpes because I was not responsible for my actions, nor respectful of the sacred union between man and woman. If life is a gift, then the creation of life is also a gift. Respect for self is a valuable lesson. Respect for others is just as well.

[quietpendulum]

Hey 1bad,

I know it may not be much consolation but I know the exact turmoil that you're going through. I was diagnosed (unofficially Monday and officially today ;/) and Tuesday and yesterday when I woke up, I was near vomitting. I probably didn't vomit b/c I hadn't really had any food. I've been sleep deprived. I've cried and I've died a little more everyday. I sit in confusion and I cry some more. But let me say this - I never thought on Monday that it'd get easier - EVER - yet, I haven't cried today (yet). I'm crying less as I'm accepting it more. Now, I've always been a very strong person and I've always had great coping mechanisms but I realize that I may need a little medical help (both psychiatric and medication) to get through this. Sometimes when I think about the reality of it, it hits me like it's brand new all over again and then I break down harder than I did the last time because it's new again.

In addition to what others may recommend (doing things that make you happy, exercising, walking, and PRAYING - which I've done a lot of too), I recommend that you have at least one person that you're close to and that understands you and won't judge you and loves you conditionally to talk to. I know that you can get a lot of support here on the internet and from these blogs but I tell ya', there's nothing like having that close close friend/family member to call on ANYTIME and know that they're there to listen to you or cry with you. I have a best friend who's been with me EVERY step and every tear and every second and believe me, it was hard to tell her but at the end of the day, I know she loves me for everything that I have to offer, both good and bad so I've been fortunate enough to have her to confide in and talk to. I don't have many friends but it's great to have that one who you know won't do anything but love you more and be there for you during such a time of need. So yes, exercise and shop and paint and listen to music and sing and CRY too (hell, you gotta get it out!) but find someone that's going to answer your call at 3am when you wake up with an anxiety attack and that will love you hard through this. It does make it a little easier...

[1badnightmare]

Thanks. I told my sister yesterday and had a panic attack on the spot. I cried for which seemed about 30 minutes straight. She informed me of some things about her sexual life that I didn't know (ie she has had genital warts & gonorrhea). She reassured me everything would get better over time and we cried and she consoled me. I still can't bring myself to tell my mom because I do feel ashamed and my mom is sooooo prould of me and my accomplishments. I think my meltdown yesterday has triggerd and outbreak because I am feeling the pains in my butt and legs. Can't wait to get home and start my valtrex. I really hate this is happening but I have goto learn to deal with it because I am going to hate the obs even more. Again thanks for the kind words and you stay strong! We will get thru!

[Learningtolive]

ibadnightmare.. i am in my second week and i know how you feel... i don't cry anymore, i just have bad anxiety..try deep breathing.. yes, go see someone, i have just made an appt with a counseler. i pray and say positive affirmations... it will be okay... i tell myself his evryday... you can email me if you want....