new.. i week in

[Learningtolive]

I am going form one emotion to another.. I still have trouble talking about it. I'm a blk. female i have a daughter and a boyfrind which I told. He's still seeing me which is scay to me.. because I feel like I'm waiting for the ball to drop...i already am a nervoous wreck, so wqhen i found out i nearly lost it.. i haven't slept well, changed my whole diet... and I talked to the person i was with before my boyfriend (him and I broke up in Jan after 4 months and started seeing each other 2 months ago again) In between us being apart.. Iwas with another guy which i feel like this may have orginated... I had a yest/vaginal thing going on and i thought the inflammation was from that.. now putting it all together i think it may have been the onset, AFTER i read about all the sypmtoms. when i saw a new rash i got it checked out and it was what it was.. I know I am all over the place but i would like to track down how i got this.. thye say either you know it on the onset, or sometimes it could be with you for a while then come out. I need some feedback, support, all of the above.. I am having anxiety attacks over this. I feel like I have the bigeest secret.. I can't even talk aboout it with my boyfriend. Please some feedback.. need support

[Shayna]

hey there learningtolive,

I so get that "having that biggest secret" feeling. I felt that myself, and I hate secrets. Being diagnosed is a scary thing....But in a little time you'll start to feel better!

Try to be really good to yourself right now. Treat yourself to something that will feed your spirit. Also, try to keep your life simple for a while.

You are going to be fine and you will feel like you have your life back.

We have all been where you are now....and we're here to give you support.

[Learningtolive]

Thank you for your words.. you are the firdt person that I have talked to that "knows" what I'm going through.. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[1badnightmare]

Going thru it too..

I too am a still somewhat freaking out to where I had to see a psychiatrist yesterday because I needed to talk to someone face to face about this. He informed me that he too has hsv2 and hasn't had an ob in years. (obviously got it when he was very young). He reassured what all the info has been saying is that it is so common today (but that doesn't make me feel any better). This is something that affects something that women hold very dear...our sexuality and feeling of being sexy and desirable. Talking to him yesterday made me feel just a little better, but I just want this all to go away. Since it can't, I must deal with it. I know that it may take a while, but I have to get thru it. I try to pray, but seem unworthy of even doing that. This forum is helping me, knowing that others out there are going thru the same thing. I have made it up in my mind to take it one day at a time. Stressing will bring out the symptoms and we definitely don't want that!!! So take it one day at a time and KNOW that it will get better!!

[elena]

Hi Learingtolive,

You have come to the best place. Here, you will get support and answers, and we all know that knowledge is power. What you learn here will give you the power to accept and manage your live around HSV. Until I found this website, I felt ashamed. I didn't want anyone to find out that I had HSV. I take daily Valtrex, and I pull the labels off the botton, so no one will accidently see the medication in my medicine cabinet. My husband has HSV also, but he hasn't had an outbreak, so he doesn't know how I feel and I can't talk to him. I only found this support group four days ago, and I feel much better about HSV and myself. Come to this site every chance you get, read other people's stories, and post replies. It will help you.

[Support1]

To Learningtolive,

I felt the same way you do when I was first diagnosed. I thought the world had ended and I could not and would not tell anyone ever. This forum was and still is a lifesaver for me. I went through an emotional rollercoaster. It has been 8 months and I must admit myself that I never in a million, gazillion years thought that I would be feeling the way I do now. I have since told three people (my best friend and two guys, whom I have know for a while). Each of them have been very supportive of me and I can say that it really helped me to tell someone in person. Just as 1badnightmare stated about going to see a professional, I think I am eventually going to do the same. I still have some hang-ups about contracting this virus and I feel working through my feelings with a professional will help me.

I want you to know that even though you may be feeling alone and depressed at this moment, it will get better (believe me). It just takes time and encouragement, which is why this forum exists. I used to cry at least three or four times daily for about two months and then I cried at least once a day for about a month. So, in total, I cried for about three months straight. Well, now I really do not cry. I say I really do not cry because I have shed some tears lately, but I can say that it is not all related to herpes (herpes just adds to it). I feel really positive an optimistic about managing this virus and living my life to the fullest. As a matter of fact, since contracting this virus, I have started to live a healthier life than I did before. So remember, the key to managing this virus is a positive attitude, minimizing stress, proper nutrition (food and vitamins), and just being happy all together. It will take some time, but you will get there sooner than you will ever imagine! If you would like to send me a personal message, please do not hesitate to do so. I have said this many, many time, but I truly know how it feels to not have any to talk to. Please take care of yourself and I wish you the very best!

[Learningtolive]

Thank you all for responding to me.. I was beginning to wonder does anybody read these posts... anyway, I am having a lot of trouble sleeping at night. I have night sweats and wake up frantic. I can take a nap during the day, since I am so darned sleepy.. but anyway, any cures for this...? alos i would like to go to a support group. some days i feel like this is a good idead then other days, i dn't wnat to talk about it . I really don't want to be hung up on this forevr. already 2 weeks in.. I need to keep stable for myslef and daughter. I'm in the MD area, anyone out there close enough to tell me of any other supports.. I want to be able to talk about this... My bigeest concer is not the physical effects but the mental... again thank all of you for responding

[Support1]

To Learningtolive,

Maybe the following links will be helpful for you:

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/support/herpes_us.htm

http://www.dc-h2o.com

[awake67]

Serenity 101

First thing to concentrate is to calm down. Take deep breaths and focus on your breath. Your thoughts are getting you wound up like a top that spins and falls. You being frantic is also no help for herpes, herpes feeds on anxiety.

Here is a few tips I shared in earlier posts, but is warranted for your convenience:

The Dating Game

You are most likely worried about what to tell the next prospective lover. Whether you are male or female, it would do you good to consider being open and honest. Having high integrity pays off. Like attracts like kind.

Whenever you feel serious about someone you are dating, that perhaps this is long-term relationship, one that is nurturing and filled with future learned lessons, then you might consider talking about the affectionate nature of your relationship. First of all, if anyone gets touchy-feely within three weeks of a relationship, this person is in need of a morals and ethics class on relationships. How to break it to your “partner” is to ask about how they feel about your relationship. If the answer is strong and positive and provides you will comfort of sharing your “secret,” then go ahead and state, “I have herpes virus. You can only get herpes too if I have an outbreak. Other than that it is no threat.”

I know this is sooo difficult. I’ve been here. I have my share of rejections and acceptances alike. Here is something to smile at: if someone you spent weeks with is now rejecting you for having herpes, then this shallow person is not worth your while anyhow…so just let the person go with a big grin and say to yourself, “It’s a good thing this person is out of my life now!”

Don't try to find out where you got it from. Just focus ON YOU.

Here is my suggestion then for those under this type of circumstance: don’t think of yesterday. Don’t think of your future. Just concentrate on caring for your body today. There was a suggestion of exercise. Even if you have the symptoms, force yourself to get out and do some yoga, walk around the mall, go to a place that you like, that is happy and gives you the smiles. This is healing for you. Concentrate on healing you in the present. Listen to soothing music, read a book, by new clothes, get your nails done, wash your car, go to a spiritual place and pray for strength. These are healing. YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND GOD DOESN'T ABANDON HIS CHILDREN.

You may be in dis-comfort, but this doesn’t last long. Be positive! What about your life? Are you not still living? Be happy that you have the opportunity to be strong and overcome such a situation. Three out of five people have herpes! You are not alone in your struggle.

[Learningtolive]

again I than you guys for responding to me. I really need this.. right now i am not in an outbreak.. or am i? the tiny bumps have gone.. i do still have disvharge. is this common.. my doc said take for 7 days. then see how it works and then we will see if i have any more outbreaks. i belive that this is my second.. or it may have been possible that a bump i noticed on my but a year ago could have been this.. Is that possible?