So confused...

[ducky406]

I'm pretty sure I have genital herpes...I have a Dr's appt tomorrow with my obgyn. Ever since I have been sexually active I've had recurrent infections that I thought were yeast infections. I have gone to doctor after doctor and they all said it was either a yeast infection or BV (one doc didn't even bother to examine me).

I was with my first partner for over five years and herpes never crossed my mind because I was the first person he even had sex with without a condom. I would get these infections once a month or so and some of them were quite painful. It was about 11 years ago so I don't remember all the details and I never looked at myself with a mirror to check for blisters...I was just busy working all the time and dealt with the pain.

When I left him I was without a partner for over a year and never had a symptom of anything! I had two short encounters with two different men, and then began seeing my current boyfriend. As soon as I became active again I begain getting these infections again. Well a few days ago I started with a really painful one (worse than I have had in years and years) and I decided to check myself with a mirror. To my horror I was developing blisters and am getting more every day. This infection feels a lot like the ones I got in my early 20's but I don't remember very clearly. I have been with my boyfriend for over four years and as far as I know he hasn't cheated and either have I .

Do you guys think that I could've had herpes ALL this time and am just realizing it? Or do you think it could've laid dormant in one or both of us and is just now showing up? Or worse yet have I been lied to and cheated on? We have a two-year-old child together and I had an HIV test when I was pregnant that came back negative. She is still breastfeeding so I am paranoid that he did cheat and if I have HIV then she will get it too.

Please help I'm SOOOOOO confused and scared. I feel SO SO dirty and alone right now!!!

[MsLucy]

Well, an HIV test wouldn't reveal herpes... two different things. So you can quit worrying about tranmitting HIV to your baby. By the sound of it, though, it's quite possible you were having herpes outbreaks in the past. The fact that you were ob free while you were inactive sexually doesn't sound too amazing. Sex can be a trigger. Often it is for me. When you go to the dr ask for a herpes test. Then you'll know. Good luck.

[thiscantbe]

your first partner could have contracted herpes even if he used condoms with his earlier partners...

also, even if he didn't have genital herpes, if he ever had oral herpes and then gave you oral sex, he could have given it to you that way...

if your symptoms now resemble what you had so long ago, I'd think you picked it up from your first partner. if it really was yeast or bv all those years ago, your current partner also could have had this for years, so it doesn't mean he cheated.

no matter what, your baby is safe (a herpes related complication would present itself not long after birth)! and the herpes virus doesn't pass thru breast milk (altho if you do indeed have it you are probably passing on protective antibodies to her - gotta love breastfeeding for that!).

anyway, definitely get a test done so you'll know what you do have. Make sure to get a type specific test done, too - might help you guess how you got it (i.e thru oral sex or genital contact). With all the pain and blisters you are describing, it really does sound like H.

[awake67]

Checked Out

Yes, it is quite possible that you've had herpes all along. Many are in denial that they carry this virus. If you had an outbreak as bad as the present 20 years ago, then it's most likely herpes and not yeast infection.

I'm happy you are checking it out with your dr and also bring your baby and have your child checked also, since you are breastfeeding. It is quite common to pass the virus from Mother to Child.

Now don't get hyper and upset. Until you know for sure, just pray for the best. If both have herpes, your dr will prescribe medications and you can also use some herbs to supplement the healing process.

Be Strong for you and baby.

[thiscantbe]

I have to disagree

it's not common to pass genital herpes to a baby except if the mother has an active outbreak during delivery or the mother gets herpes for the first time while pregnant (esp in the last trimester).

Please, don't worry about your baby! If she caught H during delivery she likely would have had very nasty symptoms. She's two now so you clearly made it thru delivery without any problems. You won't spread genital herpes to your baby cause your baby doesn't have direct contact with your genitals, and your boobs are perfectly safe!!

[ducky406]

I am not worried about giving my daughter herpes as I am a compulsive hand washer I was worried that if this was the first outbreak and I was cheated on that I might have HIV too. Being cheated on is unlikely but you just never know....just something else for me to worry about right now!! Some of these symptoms seem familiar to me. The week before this OB I was under a ton of stress. I have had a few infections since having my daughter that seemed to go away within a few days of using yeast infection medicine but who knows what they really were. I hope the Dr can shed some light on all of this for me tomorrow. I have never felt so gross in my life!! Does that dirty feeling every go away??

[awake67]

I Stand Corrected

Thanks for the correction.ThisCan'tBe

It appears that the symptoms are due to being overstressed. And being scared and confused isn't helping!

You are drawing the conclusion of cheating without facts, and that in itself causes stress.

Just because this ob is worse than the others, doesn't mean that anyone has cheated anyone.

It's just your own immune system over-fighting stuff. Are you stressed out most of the day? Have you been feeling less than 100% lately? Are you "beating yourself up for being 'dirty'"?

First of all, you are NOT a dirty person. You are a host of a virus that requires strength of your immune system to control obs.

Don't fret or beat yourself up for anything. You are a loving person and a responsible Mother. Calm down now and seek out the facts. The dr will fill you in. This website has a lot of facts and communicate to your bf.

Be Happy, Smiley67

[ducky406]

I just feel dirty though, I can't help it. I like to keep myself clean and shaved and I can't right now. Even though I sit in the tub about five times a day for some pain relief I still feel gross. I was wondering about this OB being really bad because I'm not 100% sure if it's my first or not. I read that the first one is usually the worst.

I'm 29 now and became sexually active at 18. From age 18 to about 22 it seemed like I had an infection two weeks on two weeks off. Sometimes it was really painful with cracks and bleeding but the doctors all just told me to eat more yogurt!!! So I'm really confused if this is my first OB or not. I do remember shortly after losing my virginity having a few days of unexplained fever and aches. I am not having that at all right now, just some tenderness in my lymph nodes in the groin area. The only reason I know that I'm tender there is because I felt for it suspecting herpes...I never poked down there before. And like I said, when I was younger I was working 60-70 hours a week and just dealt with the pain, worked, and slept so I can't really remember exactly what it was like. The infections that I've gotten the last few years have been really mild except for this one. I'm going to be kind of embarrassed to see my Dr tomorrow but he is very professional and always has a way of making me feel better about scary things!! We were shoot jokes back and forth during my c-section for instance LOL...

[awake67]

Hard to Tell

It's really hard to say if you had herpes a long time ago, then in between this episode and the last, your level of antibodies lowered because you didn't have any obs all these years. And now perhaps you've been exposed again or something triggered the virus from stress,etc. It seems as though it's the first ob.

You braved out the pain during the first years of having ob. It could have been anything, yeast infection, craps, gon., etc. But if you didn't get diagnosed, then you'll never really know. Maybe your dr will if you get some blood tests done.

I know exactly what you mean about being dirty. I recall my most comfortable spot was sitting on the bowl.

Keep bathing and dry out quickly. Keep your mind off of the ob as much as you can..especially after your dr visit.

You got a lot to live for! You got lots to do other than feed time to these herpe villians!

[thiscantbe]

I do remember shortly after losing my virginity having a few days of unexplained fever and aches.

sounds a lot like a first H OB, esp since it was followed suspicious painful episodes that also sound a lot like H.

Definitely get a blood test done so you can know. If you show up as positive already on a blood test then this is probably not your first episode, even tho it might seem particularly painful. There are several posts here in the forums where people experience pretty bad OBs that seem worse than the first (heck, in some cases people don't even notice their first).