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The hardest thing...


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In addition to dying more and more everyday from this new realization that I will now have to live with HSV for the remainder of my life, I have found that the hardest thing is telling the person that potentially infected me or that I have potentially infected.

I know that this isn't the death sentence but honestly, I'm wondering if that would be so much worse? I guess it would be but right now, I'm thinking of all of the awful alternatives that I'd rather live with but be able to move past. I was hoping for Chlamydia b/c at least that's curable. I'd rather do a year or two in jail for a minor offense b/c at least my record could eventually be cleared but no, I have this perminent sentence instead.

(Sorry if I'm rambling). I've joined two other threads because I need all of the support that I can get right now. I have so much support from my best friend but it somehow brings me a bit of therapy to release my heart and tears on these message boards to people that can directly relate to the turmoil and emotional crisis that I'm experiencing. I started counseling today. I'll be placed on the "happy pills" next week b/c I can't cope with this without medication. I've never been without control of the things that come into my life and if I'm not in control, I just let certain things go. Not this time. There's no letting this go...

So where do I go from here? I suppose that after the initial shock that I'm going through EVERYTIME I think about what's going on with me (it's brand new everytime), I'll start to live again. I'll regain my appetitie. I'll stop breaking down and crying everytime I let the reality sink in. I'll smile again and it'll be sincere but not now...

Not now.

Can you tell that I'm a writer at heart? It's funny that I lost my writing ability for so long b/c "I have been uninspiried" but hell, now I have enough words to write a book! I hate that this newfound disease is my inspiration for picking up my pen and paper again.

If you've read this far, I really appreciate it. I have a few questions directly related to HSV. A person that's a CARRIER and doesn't have any visible outbreaks - what is that called? I think it starts with an A. How long does it take for the antibodies to show up in your blood stream?

I'll be back...

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i will assume that you are recently diagnosed? it does get easier; believe me. i am only 4 months into this and it does get easier every day. this is a great place to be (this forum) for support and information.

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I'm sorry it's hitting you so hard. I cried a lot when I was diagnosed and even lost weight, too (altho being so darn sick helped with that part). For me H was a complete shock. Glad to hear you started counseling. It might be what you need to help get you thru the initial distress.

The person I got it from was undiagnosed and completely asymptomatic (is that the word you are looking for?).

Antibodies can show up in as little as 3 weeks (the HerpeSelect test has the best results at the shorter time intervals), but for most people it takes longer... more like 3-4 months, and then for some it takes even longer (6-8 mos).

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You said it...

Hi QuietP,

You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned:

"I've never been without control of the things that come into my life and if I'm not in control, I just let certain things go. Not this time. There's no letting this go..."

You're anxiety is what appears to be not being in control of having herpes. But in reality, you ARE in control of herpes outbreaks. You ARE in control of your emotions/stress level, you ARE in control of your positive/negative thinking AND you ARE in control of your healthy body: eating right, working out, etc.

In FACT, you may also have control of abstracting the herpes virus from your body IF you believe that you can and obtain healing. Only those with 100% FAITH in God's Power to Heal will experience this type of "miraculous" healing. You can't say that miracles never happened, because they have been documented.

Go to therapy and take happy pills. These may help you a little.

REALITY is: you have to help yourself. Think positively about your life. You do NOT want to be in jail. You do not want to hurt yourself at all.

What do you want?


How do you get in Control of this situation?

Pray or find strength within to make outbreaks dormant by being calm and doing the things that lift your spirit, make you happy. Go places that you enjoy and be with people that make you laugh.

Take natural or synthetic medications to control the outbreaks to dormancy. There are plenty of suggestions in this site. Check out "Prevent Herpes Outbreaks" to the right of this page.

Change your diet (if you have to) to eat natural lysine: meat, fish, eggs, cheese. And get out there, drink some sport drink and get out in the sun.

No-one can hold your hand indefinitely. Being strong is up to you.

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Thank you...

awake67...thank you for FINALLY puting this into a spiritual aspect. I have read many post and replies on this forum looking and hoping for one that would insert God, faith and the miracle of healing into the discussion. I told my sister today (and I cried the entire time) and she immediately said God can heal me of any and every sickness and disease if i have the faith and believe. She assured me that this is something that i have to look at as a wake up call from Him and to heed to it. Do the necessary things to control the outbreaks (as you mentioned) and this may be the only outbreak I may have. I believe and know that I will overcome HSV and it will not control me!!!

Again, thank you!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Right there with you

I've been ranting and raving on this and other sights all day. its nice to come across another writer. Ironically I too have been inspirationally dry for quite some time until I started having trouble with my boyfriend of two years, which eventually led to my diagnosis today. I left him because I'm young, hes older and it was too serious. I love him, so much, I just wasn't ready. I started seeing someone casually, we had sex, we were safe for the most part, but its silly when people say that, cause it doesnt matter if you were safe 9 times out of 10, its the tenth time that got you. Now Im pouring over it in myy head, drowning in it, regreting it, hating him and myself. I haven't told him yet, I don't think he knows he has it, and if he does he deserves to have his balls chopped off and put on my mantle. I'm only 20, I was supposed to have years of dating left, i was supposed to have plans, plans i kept and broke and changed. this feels like it affects all of it, like its crumbling. i told my ex, he's angry and still loves me, he says, i dont know which is worse. i feel dirty, i feel used and wasted. im a kid still, i dont know what im doing and this big scary adult world keeps pressing in on me. Eff, I'm ranting. I'm incoherent. How do we deal with this?

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I have read many post and replies on this forum looking and hoping for one that would insert God, faith and the miracle of healing into the discussion. I told my sister today (and I cried the entire time) and she immediately said God can heal me of any and every sickness and disease if i have the faith and believe. She assured me that this is something that i have to look at as a wake up call from Him and to heed to it.


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pick up and push on

Remember to always push on I mean faith and religion if that helps you go for it I find meditation always kinda helps me heal when I have a cold or if im sick. Keep strong energy helps alot too im really into metaphysics and alot of science has been expermenting with metaphysics vs viruses and dieases.

Keeping a calm centered mind is vital for dealing with std's like herpes even know it may seem like its the end of the world when you roll out of bed in pain unable to even walk or it hurts to pee. Its not every month it gets better and as you cope with it more calming your mind your immune system gets stronger.

So chin up press on, its just herpes you don't have cancer your not gonna die in 6 months why act like it actully in 6 months you will prolly feel a hell of alot better then you do on your first OB.

Smiles and hugs,


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