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when you have a coldsore ob

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hiding Honeycomb Member

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what can you do to still be intimate with your lover without kissing or having oral sex?

there's hugs..

you can still have genital to genital sex.. right? I only have oral hsv.

cheek kisses are a no?

this is my first ob when in a relationship and in one year. I was living on top of the world now I feel like shit again. I haven't seen my girlfriend since i've had the sore but i've told her on the phone and she said she had a friend with really bad cold sores so she kind of understands it. The word HERPES has not been mentioned... even though my ob is pretty bad...

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lintrus Honeycomb Member

lintrus

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I would assume that its possible, although having sex w/o kissing, with the rule of no kissing... it seems a little... well, less than intimate. Granted there are ways of having sex where to kiss would be going out of ones way...

Anyhow, what I really want to say is that you should, next time you're talking with your girlfriend, actually use the word "herpes." People know shit about this thing, and some probably don't know the coldsore-herpes connection.

Another point of curiosity: Have you told her about your herp at all?

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hiding Honeycomb Member

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i told her about my "coldsores." havent used the word herpes. I will have to though because she doesnt seem to understand- she still wants to kiss and i tell her not until its cleared up.

when would it be "safe" to start kissing again? how long after the ob clears up?

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hiding Honeycomb Member

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lintrus, we had sex with the rule of no kissing my face and it wasn't as bad as you made it seem. Of course it wasn't as intimate but its not overly awkward.

and no one has answered if cheek kisses are safe. I'm guessing they are.

Kissing on the lips without spreading saliva and away from the area of the OB is still pretty risky right?

any help or attempt to will be appreciated

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cecile78 Honeycomb Member

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Kissing with Cold Sores

Hey All, I'm in a similar predicament -- my ex is coming to visit for the weekend and I'm starting to get a cold sore outbreak. I'm on suppressive therapy and you can't see anything right now, although i'm sure by the time he leaves you'll be able to see something.

Any-hoo, I know he'll want to kiss (we're starting to rekindle something) so what do I do? Just tell him no we can't I'm getting cold sores? It's going to be so awkward! The other thing is that the majority of Americans have the virus already (some just don't get the cold sores) so would it really hurt to kiss him? I remember seeing a cold sore on him a few years back so I'm sure he has the virus.

What do you guys think?? ARGH!

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bluefrog Acknowledged Support Member

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Hey All, I'm in a similar predicament -- my ex is coming to visit for the weekend and I'm starting to get a cold sore outbreak. I'm on suppressive therapy and you can't see anything right now, although i'm sure by the time he leaves you'll be able to see something.

Any-hoo, I know he'll want to kiss (we're starting to rekindle something) so what do I do? Just tell him no we can't I'm getting cold sores? It's going to be so awkward! The other thing is that the majority of Americans have the virus already (some just don't get the cold sores) so would it really hurt to kiss him? I remember seeing a cold sore on him a few years back so I'm sure he has the virus.

What do you guys think?? ARGH!

I think you need to tell him about your cold sores even they don't surface while he is visiting. Withholding would be wrong. And if you do recall him having cold sores in the past, then what is the big deal with telling him?

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hiding Honeycomb Member

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even if he has hsv1 oral, you shouldnt kiss until the ob clears up because he the ob can spread to him- resulting in an ob within an amount of days.

can someone confirm this as valid info?

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  • 2 weeks later...
cecile78 Honeycomb Member

cecile78

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Wasn't An Outbreak

Hey guys... so as it turns out it wasn't a coldsore outbreak afterall. But the tiny bumps did end spreading all over all my lips (without kissing). Does anyone know what this could be? They're really tiny bumps that are the same color as my lip skin and tingle/itch slightly. It can't be cold sores because when I get an outbreak it blisters up in one spot first and "explodes," then crusts over (you know the routine). These have stayed tiny bumps for a week now. Any ideas?

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