a river in Egypt...

[eyesbleu]

Its called Denial.

I was diagnosed in Feb 06. Doc said it must have been recent since the antibodies showed something about 6 weeks before. I hadn't had sex or any issues...except being on antibiotics for something else. So I figured it was a false pos and moved on. I had cheated on my husband in Oct 05. Bad marriage for 10 years. So I kinda knew where this came from. Only one possibility. Denial. So 3 weeks ago, hubby and I decide its time to get a divorce. Not so bad...we're very civil. I go visit friends for the weekend, hook up with the neighbor, have the best sex I've had in YEARS! And a lot of it. All this pent up neglect will do that to you. I am reminded that I am a very sexual person who has been missing out. I return to the scene of the passion a week later. Figured I was just sore from having my toes curl...if you know what I mean. Get my period. Close the Cat House for a couple of days...and something is not right. Figure its a yeast infection gone crazy. I had not been to the Dr. since 06' because I would rather have root canal with no novicane than to subject myself to another bad day at the GYN...denial.

Make a plea to the Dr to see me ASAP because I am in so much pain. I know what it must be. I tell neighbordude right away. He takes a blood test, Negative. I did mention that I might have had this ahead of time but it lays dormant...because I was in denial. Never had an OB...but in hindsight, those yeast infection type things might have been a clue.

I give him 24 hours to let it sink in...after he's pronounced Neg, ask him straight out "where his head is at" with this crap. He says No Thanks. I told him thats what I had expected. He told me that he's a very sexual person and he wouldn't be able to handle that in the back of his head. If he's as sexual as he says...then he should ALWAYS have std's in the back of his head...dumb ass. Doesn't own a computer so his "knowledge" is very limited.

My OB consists of crazy tailbone aches. Hamstrings and glute muscles...as if you weeded and acre...did not go away in a couple of days. Blisters healed in a couple of days. Its been almost 3 weeks and although I feel a little better, this tailbone of mine and my whole private parts are aching! Feels like my inside plumbing is all swollen.

Did the Valtrex. Dr. said 3 days 2x/day. Well, i'm still taking them anyway with a multi-vitaman. (9 days)

No wonder: Not eating due to stress about the end of my marriage, recently had to move, and general "life isn't fair" crap. (lost 35 pounds)

Got my period

Crazy sex.

Low immune system.

As if I sent an invitation to this virus to come to my pity party.

And boy did it...even brought all the party favors.

So its time to look forward.

Eat better, pay attention to my body, excersize and

hang out here for support.

My name is Cecilia and I have herpes.

I'm getting off this damn raft that I have been floating on De-Nile.

My life is not over.

Its a virus.

And I found these boards so I'm going to be OK.

Thanks for reading.

[MsLucy]

Welcome aboard Cecelia. It's a big raft, and we've all floated down that river with you. The rapids are a pretty wild ride, but you'll be okay now. Sounds like you're on solid ground.

[eyesbleu]

thanks. i wouldn't call it "solid ground". just when I thought that I was getting "back in the game"...game over. i have a lot of work to do...and a lot of stressful situations ahead...ie divorce. so what I need to do now is take care of myself. gee. what a concept. wish they had a pill for that.

[MsLucy]

Don't we all!

[relaxed123]

Just a question

Hey everyone i have a question?

I recently met the woman of my dreams. We met about 4 months ago and she has every good quality a man can ask for. So the friday before last i get a call from her telling me that her boyfriend that she had before she met me cheated on her and she is positive for HSV 2. I had unprotected sex with her so i was pretty sure i had gotten the virus. I went to get a blood test last monday and my results came back as negative. Now heres where the question comes in. i have been feeling the symptoms that tell you if you have herpes. i got a couple sores on my tongue and i feel sort of soreness and burning when i pee. but its not really bad.

My question is can the test that i took be wrong? i know im not crazy and i didnt imagine these symptoms happening to me. how do i know if the test was wrong or not? what would you guys recommend i do?

[eyesbleu]

to answer your question...i believe that I got the H when I cheated on my husband. when I was first diagnosed, i told him right away. i did not mention that i had been with someone else. i did say that it can lay dormant and you might not know you have it for years. he's not a Doctor kinda guy so he pretty much ignored the information. one of the reasons that we are breaking up is because we were having sex maybe 3x a year. so during this (very long) OB, I asked him if at his last (and first in years) checkup if Dr took blood for this. he doesn't know and doesn't seem to care. another reason for our ending the marriage. I don't think hes the reason for the H. not a man that is intrested in sex...just Football.

I had only been with 2 people in the last 10 years.

[eyesbleu]

he doesn't know if he has hsv.

nore do I think he cares.

can you believe that?

as far as 3 times a year...only when I couldn't take it anymore, i would always be the one to initiate. hence why i went to the outside.

bastard.

[gutted.]

how can you call him a bastard? you cheated on him and probs gave him herpes? that would make you the %&££$&

[MsLucy]

I thought we weren't supposed to be judgemental here. It's pretty easy to condemn someone for doing what you think you would 'never' do, but until the situation arises, you really can't be sure, can you? You know what they say about walking a mile in someone else's shoes.

Every relationship is based on needs, and whether or not the relationship survives depends almost entirely on how well both people are able (and willing) to meet the needs of his/her partner. No one in a comitted relationship strays without a reason, and it's never only the fault of one. If one has needs that aren't being met, and the other is unable or unwilling to accomodate, eventually someone will come along who fills the emptiness. And although we generally regard cheating as sexual indiscretion, emotional starvation is almost always the cause behind the effect.

We can all have moments of weakness. There are times in all our lives when we're vulnerable. It seems as if it's only when it happens to someone else that's it's unforgiveable, eh?

[gutted.]

thats still doesnt make her ex a bastard tho does it.

preach what you pray.

if i cheated on my GF and gave her herpes, even if she starved me off sex, i stil would have no right to call her a bitch..

the point is she called him a bastard, when he had done nothing wrong.

[gutted.]

so hes a bastard cus he dont like sex very often ???

if thats was the other way around - a bloke cheating on a girl cus she dont give him any he would still be considered a bastard.

sorry i dont go for the one rule for one for anorther.

she took "vows" when she married him. she should of thought about those vows.

fair call, i wouldnt stay with sumone who didnt like sex,. but i would leave them first.

[eyesbleu]

jeez. i called him a bastard because for the last 11 years, i have supported him. i had done right by him as a wife and he has NOT done right by me. bottom line. our marriage has sucked since the beginning. we should have never gone to the next step. we were living together for 8 years before he proposed...because of social pressure. whatever. we're seperated now.

so don't judge me. this is supposed to be a "support group".

and its not about my crappy marriage.

its about how bad i feel (physically and emotionally).

its about the fact that i had an incredible experience with someone recently (which seemed to have brought on this 1st OB) and he backed right out.

i assume this will be my life from now on.

my self esteem is taking a real beating.

and calling me out on bitching about my failed marriage is not really fair.

not to mention adding to my angst.

not helping the healing process either.

how damn long are these OBs supposed to last?

its been 3 weeks already and I need some relief.

[bluefrog]

eyesbleu. point well taken. when i read your post where you referred to your husband as a bastard, i took it in stride; maybe because I am a female; most likely, because it was you speaking your mind and putting your feelings out there. You are right; this is not about your crappy marriage; this is about a bunch of people, all here for the same reason.....herpes.......don't let judgmental responses get you down. everybody here has a right to their opinion. I hope you soon start to feel better.

[gutted.]

don't let judgmental responses get you down.???

i not trying to get at anyone but i thought it was unfair to call her ex a bastard.

sorry if its hurt you that wasnt my intention and i do apologise..

also - people on ere judge everyone yourself included.

e.g. people who talk about infecting others.

again sorry if i hurt anyone that wasnt my intention.

[eyesbleu]

I am not proud of cheating. I don't know how that came accross. The fact of the matter is that my marriage has been "over" for a while now. There are more reasons than anyone knows.

This thread is getting way too uncomfortable for me.

I'm not perfect...no one is.

I admitted in my first post that I was in denial.

Not anymore.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who finally faced this when they experienced their first OB.

[MsLucy]

Eyesbleu, I'm sorry if you feel you need to defend yourself because it shouldn't be that way. There's not one person here who has even an inkling of what your life is/was like, and so there's not one person here with any right to judge you or anyone else. We all have reasons for the things we do, and our reasons may not be someone else's, but that doesn't make them any less valid.

For the rest of you, we've all either fucked up or been fucked over at some point, or none of us would be here. So how about giving the poor girl a break? She has enough problems without being chastized for her morality or her mistakes. And, lest you all forget, this is a herpes forum, which, by the way, is a sexually transmitted disease. Could I see a show of hands of all the unmarried virgins among us? I thought so. So let's just drop the morality facade and move on, shall we?

Eyesbleu, I apologize. To answer your question, it's not uncommon for the first ob to hang around a while, and it can be a misery. Tylenol, or something like it, might alleviate your aches and pains somewhat, but if you're taking suppressives and vitamins you may just have to ride it out. One thing you might try is a suuplement to boost your immune system. I take Neem leaf capsules, and they seem to work well, or L-Lysine is a popular one. Everyone is different, so it's mostly trial and error as to what will work for you, but do it safely. Be mindful of what and how much. There's a ton of info out there, and on this site, too, that may help you. Most important, be kind to yourself. Take care of you. Eat right, get lots of rest, and as for the emotional turmoil, well, my mother always told me that things will work out the way they're supposed to, and as much as it killed me to admit it, she was always right about that. Let us know how you're doing, okay?

[awake67]

Hurting Inside

Statistically speaking, divorce is one of the top three most stressful times in ones lifetime. I feel for you, Eyesblue. I hope you remain positive during the "proceedings." And after everything is finalized, you will feel like you've dropped an anvil off of your shoulders. Stress stirs up obs, so try to find some time to be serene; meditate, clear your mind, pray. Do something that you know works to calm you down.

I'm sorry your soon to be ex-husband doesn't "care" about having herpes. He may soon, though, being single and all. He may enter back into the "dating game."

Irregardless of who shared this virus with you. WE SUPPORT YOU! I am happy to read from your first post that you did some homework. STAY positive and keep your immune system in tip-top shape to prevent future obs. You are a strong woman and in spite of "waking up" from denial of unhappiness, you have a joyous and promising future ahead of you.

NO virus will prevent your freedom to be happy. EVERYONE is entitled to overcome weakness and pain. One just needs to have the will power to make things right again.

Good luck with all your good resolutions. Pray for a beautiful new life ahead of you. Pray for all of life's blessings and healing of the past.

Be strong and positive.

[eyesbleu]

thank you. i needed that. it's hard to see the forest through the trees right now. your kind words and support do help.